Top: 5 Joke for you my Steemit friend I wish you like and keep you smilling :) :)

in steemit •  7 years ago 

Hello steemit friend,Good day to all both of you..

I search some joke for you, that make you smile, I make this Top 5 Jokes because some commenters that I read in some post was very serious in their comment so I decide how about I'm post some pinoy jokes..I find some jokes in our and I translate in English..SO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT

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Joke 1. Kind of Vampires in a Restaurant

rich Vampire: waiter

waiter: yes sir what is your order?.

rich Vampire: Give me a one glass of a royal Blood girl.

waiter:yes, sir and the waiter brought a one Glass of a royal blood girl.

From the next table,there are a mild rich vampire calling

mild rich vampire: waiter

waiter: yes, sir what is your order?

mild rich vampire: Give me a one glass of a girl blood.

waiter: yes,sir and the waiter brought a one glass of a blood of a girl

From the next table again,there was a poor vampire calling

poor vampire: waiter please

waiter: yes sir, what is your order?

poor vampire: Give me a one glass of a Hot water.

waiter: yes, sir and the waiter brought a one glass of a hot water and asking; sir: why hot water your order only sir?..

poor vampire: I found a "small Bag of Blood" in a Ladies Comfort Room so I make this a TEA.

hahaha..Think it, was is this😄😄😄

I hope you like it... next please

. . .

Joke 2. Mr. Dr

In a rural place, There are a technician that decide to be a Doctor, Because no one Doctor of his place, But one guy come to his place and that guy see the sign board of the technician doctor that said"If I fail to treated you I paid you $50 but if you healed you paid me $25" so the guy to be interested and also to be pretended to lost his taste to claim the $50 dollars..

guy: hi, you are the doctor here?. can you back my taste because I can't taste my food?..

tech. Doctor: "Call her assistant" and the Dr. Come close to his assistant ear and said... can you find some Ticks to our Dogs,And Drain the Blood in to the tounge of the guy..

Assistant: yes doc..and the assistant brought a Ticks and they drain the blood into the guy mouth..

guy: eeeewww... what the..argggg what kind of taste of that sht..*

tech. Doctor: congratulations you back your taste now.. here your payment receipt $25..

thank you come back sir...

and 24 hours left and the guyz back to pretended they can't Hear everything... to back also his money.

guy: Doctor please help me I cannot hear please help me...and the

tech. Doctor: call his assistant, but they not answer... The doctor call again in shout and say!.

“Hey!!, they are Patient here bring me some Ticks and drain the blood to the patient tongue go Faster!!!" and guys react..

guy: what!?...you drain a ticks blood to my tongue, what you drain yesterday a thick blood also?...

Tech.Doctor: yes sir a Ticks blood also...and congratulation you hear now..his your payment receipt $25..

thank you and come back sir...

the guy is so angry and promise to himself that tomorrow he will claim the $50,..

24 hours left and guy back to claim the $50 and pretended that he can't see...

guy: Doctor please back my eye sight I can't see,please help me again...

tech. Doctor: hmmm.. I think I cannot healed your eyes..

guy: (in his mind) yesssssssssss... :) :)

tech. Doctor: "call his assistant".. give him the reward, I can't heal him...

the assistant give the money of the guy hand, and the guy look to his hand the guy react...

guy: what?... why this only $10 you said if you can't heal your patient you paid $50..why?..

tech.Doctor: congratulation you can see again, here your $10 tips to trusting my service thank you ....

be smart😂😂👊

I hope you like next please...
. . .

Joke 3. Boyfriend

Girl: remove my shirt

Boy: yes I remove your shirt now

Girl: and then remove my Bra.

Boy: yes I remove it..

Girl: Now remove my skirt

Boy: okay I remove it how about your panty..

Girl: yes, remove it also.

Boy: I remove it,so what should I do now..

Girl: what should you do?..

Boy: yes, babe what i do now..

Girl: From now on, do not wear all my clothes again, I will kill you if I see you wear my clothes understood😠!!!...

hahaha, what boyfriend she have😂👊

I hope you like next please..

. . .

Joke 4. My Son..

Son: (scared) Mom... There was happening last night with my friend..what should I do mom.please mom I scared..

mom: wait son... what,what happening to you and to your friend, who on your friend ..?

Son: mom, I wake up I have no clothed and, and beside my bed is John he also no clothed ..mom what should I do...what if I pregnant how about my study and my future... Mom,mom, please help me daaaad please help me too, I scared...

Mom: Honey, don't you hear?? our son need our help, why you watchinng TV only you don't scare my son was pregnant they no future to our son..Honey please help our son... our son need us...

Dad: Hey,Hon. and Sonny Boy stopping me both of you huh.... I watching TV here don't let me join to your DRAMA...

hahaha think it.. ambisyosa gay 😂👊

I hope you like .next please..
. . .

Joke 5. The Better Man

Girl father: young man, your'e coming to seek my daughter's hand in marriage and your'e chewing a gum?..that's a sign of dis respect!..

John: Sir, I only chew a gum when I drink or smoke.

Girl father: you mean you drink and smoke and your'e here to seek my daughter's hand in marriage?

John: Sir, I only drink and smoke when I go to club.

Girl father: You in Club too,?

John: I'm Sorry Sir, I started in clubbing when I came out to prison.

Girl father: you have been in prison before?.Oh my God.

John: sorry sir, I went to jail when I killed somebody!!.

Girl father: what! you are a killer?.

John: Sir, It happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didn't allow me to marry his daughter, so I killed him...

Girl father: owww... your very welcome to my son. you are the right and absolutely man to my daughter..congratulation,congratulation we are very close from now on 😂😂

hahaha...what happening😂👊
. . .

thanks to read my top 5 jokes steemit friend, I hope also you like it... and I hope you smile from a while keep smiling this is the free today in making you most beautiful and most handsome man...anyway always keep smiling If any problems that come to your life... and god bless thank you for reading😘😘.....

@pinoyfood

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hahaha lol ..hahahaaa😂😂 the #1 I think it napkin If I'm right small bag of blood ,yucks!!😂😂 nice post ,nice post.. you make my morning good vibes

hahaha yeah..😂

nice post and also funny @pinoyfood :)

Thank you I hope you like it :)