bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
-> I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day.A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3.
-> He says, "Uno, dos..." and then poof … he disappeared without a tres!What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.
->The guardians of the galaxy!.Why are there fences around a graveyard?
-> Because people are dying to get in!What's red and bad for your teeth?
->A brick.Why should you never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp?
-> Because she's probably thick and tired of it!My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
->To be honest, I should have seen the signs.What's the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?
->One you'll see in a while and the other you'll see later!Two windmills are on a date and one asks the other, "So what kind of music do you like?"
->The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan!"And Jesus said, "Come forth and receive everlasting life."
->But John came fifth, and only received a toaster oven.
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