Never make fun of an Italian's Mother

Before Champagne
Remember this guy. The guy that moved to Ireland to meet Bono and was walking across a road on his first day in Ireland actually met Bono. Yes Antonio. Bloody Antonio. The chalk to my cheese. My Italian walking disaster of a friend that I have spent many an adventure with unfortunately. But yet we are always drawn to each other and I've a massive soft spot for him. He came down to the canaries while I was living there for a holiday and then decided he wanted to come with me on a few more of my escapades. He worked with me as staff so when I was off to Dortmund I put him on the support list. The support list is basically a 2 month holiday where they train in the new staff. In turn the new staff would show them around their home city, have some drinks and party and as a result many babies would be born 9 months later in both Ireland and wherever the store opened.

After Champagne

Antonio was an extremely hard worker and could run a large stockroom. This would be the first time he had some responsibility.But he nearly wrecked his chances before he even joined me in Germany.
The problem with Antonio as like many Italians,he had no patience, he had a short fuse and he fell in love every 10 minutes.
His mother had died when he was 7 and this had a massive effect on him. One day in Ireland before I left for Deutschland, we were watching his team Juventus play Real Madrid on TV in a pub. Juve scored. Antonio got up and started dancing around the Spanish guys. One of them made a comment about his mother which did not go down well. He sat back down and said nothing. When the 3 Spanish guys left, myself and another friend warned him.

Don't you dare

Whattttttttt????? he replied.
I am going home to sleep pour'que Dio hands flailing.

Antonio drank up and followed the three Spanish guys out the door.

I threw my eyes up to heaven at my friend.

He's gonna go after them. I know the ejet. He will get the head kicked off him. There's three of them and they are not small by any means. Look out there and see which way he goes.

The Spanish guys turned right. Antonio went left.

Phew ,he's gone home. We dont have to go after him

The next day the 3 Spanish guys came into work. 4 black eyes(1 guy had both eyes black). Another guy had a cut on his forehead and the other fella looked like he went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson. Not surprisingly he was the loudest of the 3.
For fu........... what happened yee three I asked already putting 2 plus 2 together and equaling Antonio.

We wish to make a formal complaint they said to me.
The HR manager deals with that lads as I pointed them to her door.

I rang the other guy I was out with

He's only gone off and bet the crap out of the lads

They were attacked last night by a guy in a balaclava and they believed he worked in the store. They knew it was Antonio. Antonio was to attend an investigatory meeting when he came in. Not a scratch on him. He told the HR manager that he didn't know anything about it and he just went home to bed.

The police were soon called in as the three guys wanted to take things further. They looked up the cameras in the area and confirmed what we say , Antonio went the oppostie direction to them out the door of the pub. But the police went further when another angle saw Antonio break into a sprint when he left the pub. He ran around the block and bate the shit out of the 3 lads. I don't know where he got the balaclava but he did have a wooly hat.

The police tried to push him by telling them they had camera footage and left it to the HR manager who was more personal with him.
Antonio , there was cameras everywhere
Fuck the camera's was the reply.

They called me a son of a bitch. I didn't do a thing

The HR manager asked the 3 Spanish guys if there was any truth in that which they admitted and she got them to drop the charges. This wouldn't be the last time we had to deal with the Italian's misdemeanours. It was hard to be a boss and a friend of this guy because any time he got in trouble, I got dragged into it. Not good. I should never have agreed to put him on the support list for Germany because it was only going to get worse. But that story is for another day.

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