Message for Couples And About to Get Married

A certain woman of God (name withheld) shocked everyone in our Chapel today, Sunday. She is a second in command in the organisation where I work. I think it is good to share her thought with my steemian friends as that can be so helpful to every married and about to marry person.

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Marriage is a good thing, and the oldest institution on earth established by God in the garden of Eden according to Christian holy book, Bible.

On the other hand, marriage has become a great source of pain to so many people today. Some regret ever going into it. Some wish their partner dead, and some feel like ending it.

Non of these wishes can resolve the problem or erase the pains of coming in contact with your spouse. Divorce or death of a spouse has never made anyone better. At the moment, you feel relief and out of hook. At the long run, you will wish everything is reversed or they never happened.

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At the time of inception, marriage is celebrated, the new partner is loved. The couples are drunk in love. Everyone celebrates them, and some wish to be like them. Now, the question is:

• What happens along the line?
• What brings so much hatred?
• What is that that can't be forgiven?

These and many more questions come to mind when couples begin to haul each other insults upon insults, when divorce case is instituted, when there is deliberate intention to do something that will hurt other.
What has changed?

The woman of God took one aspect out of numerous causal factors of marital problems, finance. In this part of the world, Nigeria and Africa at large, financial constraint is the biggest challenge in our homes.
It is not really love issue because our men and women have capacity to love.
It is not really unfaithfulness, even though it is there, our culture frowns at it and sometimes, it has deadly consequences(which are superstitious anyways).
Marital problems in this part of the world is not really as result of say, the man is not playing his bed role well. African men are naturally strong, besides, our women hardly quit marriage because their husbands are not Maradonna in bed. They many attimes find a way to make it work.
Also, our marriages don't crash because one partner does not feel like continuing. Absurd, it sounds. Isn't it? You hear people say, "I don't feel like continuing in this relationship". Why? "I don't love him/her anymore". Trash

Our marriages crash mostly due to financially related issues. When the man loses his position because he cannot provide for the family, when there is no food in the house, problems ensue and dovetail into other issues.

The woman of God addressed financial management at home. She centered everything on transparency, openness on the side of both couples. She cited Genesis, "Adam and Eve were naked and we're not ashamed. That was God's original plan that husband and wife should be open to each other". No secret, she meant.

The woman of God blamed lack of transparency in our marriages on our parents who advised us wrongly. "This is still happening today that a mother advises her daughter to be smart in her husband house. Make sure you save money, have a secret account so that you have where to fall on if your husband sends you out". What?

• Are they anticipating divorce for their daughters?
• Why on Earth will a mother tell her daughter that all men are the same?
• Are all men really the same?
• Why preparing your daughter's mind for worst case scenario?
• Must your daughter marry a bad man because you did?

All these questions are begging for answers.

However, one thing I know, and that is, whatever a man sows, he will reap. If you sow pessimism in your marriage, you reap uncertainty.

The woman of God asked women to Jetson negative mindset, discard such advice that mar marriage even before it is instituted,and put everything they have, their mind, soul, body, spirit, and material things into their marriage to make it work.
"If a woman obeys God's original plan for husband and wife by being open, and she gets rejection and dejection in return, and loses everything, the God she obeyed will not forsake her", she alluded.
She advised women to contribute their quota in the family, do their best in assisting their husbands as God instructed by calling wife a helpmeet. "If women are weaker sex, it means men are weak sex. So a man is complete with a woman. Where a man is deficient, the woman will complement" she said.

On the other hand, the woman of God advised husbands to be transparent as well. When men are open, their women will know the true state of things and will not demand unnecessarily or beyond the capacity of their men. Again, she advised men to allow their wives a freehand in getting their needs. This, she said will prevent their wives from considering secret dealings. "A woman who faces challenges in convincing her husband before she can get her personal need, may think of other means to go about it", she advised.

Remember that Adam and Eve were naked and we're not ashamed

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In conclusion, I say, if you as a wife has money in your account, and your husband is borrowing to provide for the family, you are an error.
If you as a husband take advantage of your wife's transparency to hurt her, you are a disappointment to humanity.

Let's deal with the issue of finance in our homes by being transparent.