I do things because my friends do it - Information for kids

Maybe you have been in situations like this before, but the older you get, the more your classmates, friends or peers will play a role in the decisions you make.  

They will nag you to do something with them, even if you do not want to do it, you may give in.... this is called 'peer pressure'.  It can be positive but also negative and get us into trouble.

Peer pressure is the direct influence on people by peers, or the effect on an individual who gets encouraged to follow their peers by changing their attitudes, values or behaviors to conform to those of the influencing group or individual. 

                    

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As you get older, you will have to make more decisions for yourself.  It is not always easy and it is not just a question of 'right and wrong'.  Your friends will also play a role and many of them would want to convince you to do something you know is not right, or even do not want to do, but on the other hand you also want to be accepted by your friends.

Welcome to 'peer pressure'.

Peers are not just only a bad influence.  We spend a lot of time with them and they teach us a lot.  You can admire some of your peers and want to be like them, or do certain things the way they do, and that can be positive.

Unfortunately there are always the peers who want to influence your negatively.  It can be to 'bunk' class or take a drink or have a smoke.  Things that you know is not right, but your need to be part of the group can be so big, that you forget about 'right and wrong' or any consequences.

It is very easy to give into peer pressure, because you want to belong and be accepted or be with the 'cool kids'.  We all understand that, but the question is always, if you get caught, will those kids suffer the consequences with you or just leave you to face it on your own?

If you have a true friend, maybe not as cool as the others, but somebody who really accepts you for who you are, do not want to change you and do not want you to do things you don't want to do..... is that not a much better friend to have??

Only you can decide to stand up against your peers, nobody else.  Your parents can tell you every day not to do the wrong thing, but at the end it is your decision.  

Are you going to give in, because your 'friends' are putting pressure on you, or are you going to be true to yourself and your own believes and walk away??

Paying attention to your own feelings and beliefs about what is right and wrong can help you know the right thing to do. Inner strength and self-confidence can help you stand firm, walk away, and resist doing something when you know better. 

It can help to be friends with other children who says 'No' to the same things you do.  That way you will be a good influence on each other and not put pressure on the other one to do what you want, but each one can decide for themselves.

Make sure you are surrounded by people who gives you 'positive peer pressure' and also make sure that you are not the one trying to force 'negative peer pressure' onto others.  In the same way that you do not want to be influenced or get into trouble, your friend feels the same.

Be a good friend and show others how to treat one another and also be themselves,  No matter how difficult it is, but if somebody does not want to accept you for who you are, they are not worth being your friend...

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