Admission to kindergarten or school - upheaval in the lives of children and their management

In the development of children and adolescents, there are different phases that are a change and pose special challenges for the whole family. Important for the child and is a positive coping with these transitions in life. Here you can read about the changes in kindergarten and early school life for a child and their parents: what problems they cause and how to deal with them in the family.

Phase 1: Nursery or kindergarten - the first care situation outside the family

Her child grew up at home with her mother and father in the early years of her life and was mainly cared for by these familiar people. At the age of three at the latest, the kindergarten time begins, and some children attend the nursery even earlier. Both represent the first phase of upheaval in a child's life. Your child has learned basic trust with you and that it can rely on you as a caregiver. They fulfill his needs for closeness and emotional affection, they know: mom and dad are there for me and will not let me down. When I'm hungry, I get to eat. When I feel lonely, I am hugged. When I am sad and crying, I am lovingly comforted. For your child, it is a big step when it is taken from the home care situation for the first time in a kindergarten and left to strangers, because it must first learn that it can also trust this. Actually, this is a natural process in the child's life, but it is often fraught with difficulty at this stage:

• The actually quite independent child suddenly starts to "cling" again and is increasingly looking for your closeness
• The child develops fears, especially when alone or in the dark
• Your child does not want to go to bed in the evening
• The offspring often complains of abdominal pain, for which a doctor can find no physical cause

Especially in this first phase of a childrens life it is very important how you treat it as a parent. It is especially important to be patient and to help your child cope with his fears. You can do the following things:

Just close a lot, be always there for your child. That gives him security and confidence
Put on solid rituals at home. Take your child's fear of the dark, before falling asleep and thus before the next day. Sleep-in rituals such as bedtime stories, a small night light or a stuffed animal help.
If you bring your child to kindergarten, you should definitely pick it up at a fixed time. Your child learns that it can rely on you and you always bring it back home, even if it has you for a few hours now not around.

Phase 2: The enrollment

Her child had become accustomed to the kindergarten, learned a lot there in a playful way and probably went there after the normal and above described initial difficulties. It made the first social contacts outside the family and made friends. Now it is released from kindergarten and the "seriousness of life" and the time of achievement begins. Most children look forward to the school and are initially euphoric, even if they do not really know what to expect. So it can happen that your child feels overwhelmed after the first days and weeks at school: foreign children, unknown rooms, new staff and the teaching material. The following problems may arise for the child, including health:

• The child retreats, does not seem so happy and free
• You notice that your child is nervous and irritable
• Your child complains of a headache
• Your child does not want to eat in the morning, has abdominal pain and / or diarrhea
• Behavioral problems are noticeable, such as stuttering or nail biting
• The child no longer sleeps well and has nightmares
• Your child starts to cry again

As a parent, you should now watch your child closely and deal with him extremely sensitively. Talk to your child, show understanding and try to relieve him of this new situation. If the problems are pronounced at home, you should definitely have a conversation with the teacher and also visit a pediatrician. Your child should behave as follows:

• Listen to the child, take it seriously and show understanding
• Help the child find solutions and signal that you trust him a lot
• Be affectionate and patient and help the child build a healthy self-confidence
• Do not build up additional pressure due to performance requirements
• Do not play down the fears of the child and seek additional help, e.g. child psychologist

Many children master this change phase in life with the help of patient and understanding parents and teachers very well. Important here is precise observation and good communication between all involved. At the first small difficulties, it is important to react immediately, so that initial and minor problems do not develop into problematic school anxiety.

Further upheavals in the lives of children and adolescents are the time of puberty and the transition from school to education and working life.