@littledrummerboy Going Out on His Own with His Adult Friend

It was a hectic day for me yesterday as I did not manage to get rest in between my classes and then the swap of cars with some arrangements because of an extra sudden agenda of the hospital admission of my brother-in-law for catching dengue. speedy recovery to him!

So, I had the little boy with me in between my classes and one of my neighbour friend was asking if he wanted to go for a ride with her to get a drink from a cafe with her dog. Of course he was delighted. When asked who are his friends, he usually names a few adults whom he would want to hang out with without me. So, this was one of them.

They went out for a while before his nap and he had a blast, not wanting to come home. Today again, that friend was wanting to have scones and tea in a cafe in our neighbourhood so she asked me much earlier if she can have his company. She wanted to bring him to a mall at first but I wasn't too keen because of the crowd and the higher likelihood of him getting lost (yeah call me a paranoid mom! Hehe) When she suggested the neighbourhood cafe which I know is lower in density and also safer as an enclosed area, my heart was more at rest. I was still thinking twice until I had a bad sleep last night with a bad headache and flu suddenly in the middle of the night after an exhausted day. I was rather glad that he could go out with her again for just an hour while I quickly caught up on nap. After all, my mom-in-law and husband are also tired from running the food truck and also admitting my brother-in-law to the hospital till late night. So we all sort of had a break today while @littledrummerboy went to have fun and again he didn't want to go home. He was having scones with her and reading some books over there. My friend had to persuade him because the agreement with me was back before naptime, wash hands and feet and off to bed.

He finally came home with a smile, and he remembered everything I said before he went out. I was impressed that he headed straight to the toilet saying, "I gotta wash my hands and feet! " even with his bag still on.

Sometimes, they just grow up so soon. I wasn't anticipating him going out with his friends this soon, you know. But yeah, it was perfect this time because I needed the nap to be refreshed and he had such an awesome time!

Here are some photos taken and sent to me from his friend or my friend:

Looks like he is growing in his confidence and independence. He was a boy whom all my other friends and even own family thought can never leave me or what they said, sticky. Some even asked me to send him away to babysitters to train him for independence but we insisted of keeping him with me to nurture his sense of security and not push him when he wasn't ready. When he was ready to exhibit traits of independence, he is doing it now, even before I was expecting it this soon! I am so proud of who he is and has become! 💕

My husband shared this with me recently: In our world, we may mess up the "sequence" of things and then questions we ask often start with what we can do, and then we try to derive who we are from what we do and often we feel lost in it. I strongly believe the sense of security of a child is one of the most important early needs. Insecurities have robbed away so much joy, even after we have grown up.

When a child is secure, he or she knows who he or she is, who he or she belongs to and then he or she feels safe to explore what they can do. When they fail, they know where to run back to too. When a child is secure, he or she can be independent without being rushed through a "premature" process of independence too. So it is okay that they depend or stick with us like a glue when they still need to and want to. Soon, they spread their wings and even if we want them to stick around, they may not want to, anymore.

Parenting is a hard thing to do. I don't think I can ever do it perfectly but I do want to be intentional in parenting, as much as I can be conscious about. Bless every parent and grandparent out there! God gives us grace because I think He is one really Good Parent who still works on my insecurities so I can reach my full potential of how He sees me as!

_{created by @zord189}