Return to the Past by @simgirl- Written for The Play House and Comedy Open Mic Round #31

The Play House- Friday Nights on the SteemStar Network

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This is a skit I wrote for the Play House on the SteemStar Network and the Comedy Open Mic Round #31.

If you have never visited the SteemStar Network Discord, consider this your engraved invitation. @carrieallen opens the Play House every Friday night 7pm EST. to all Steemians. Together with her husband @chrisroberts, @carrieallen provides entertainment, laughs and a spectacular chance to win prizes on Dlive.

If you have not yet listened to the Play House, here's a link to last week's show, The Play House!. I haven't been able to make it to the Play House in many weeks and that makes me sad. But I am happy that a skit appeared before me and I was able to capture it from the invisible space of my mind and write it down for you fine folks.

I hope you like it. Let me know in the comments.

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Return to the Past by @simgirl- Written for The Play House September 18, 2018

Cast
Narrator- Person who communicates the place and time or background of the scene to the audience
Kent- A male in his forties who remembers the 80s fondly
Tylor- Kent’s cousin a few years younger who also remembers the 80s fondly
Mom- Kent’s mother, who obviously can’t cook and doesn’t care- 1 line
Aunt Sissy- Mom’s sister and Tylor's Mom- doesn’t get along with Mom- 1 line

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Narrator
In the year of 2018, in a town somewhere in the United States, two cousins are going back in time to replay the “easy” life they had as children. They are hanging out at Kent’s home drinking beers and reminiscing about the eighties.

Tylor
Remember how easy we had it back in the day?

Kent
Oh yeah, when we were kids we had no digital responsibilities. We just hung outside all day riding our bikes and playing sports.

Tylor
Yeah, no email, texts, or conference calls. We talked to people in person, and everyone seemed to get along better back then.

Kent
I agree. We had lots of family gatherings, so much food. I would give anything for a home-cooked meal these days.

Tylor
Yeah, it’s like everything was better back then. It’s too bad we can’t go back in time and live back in the eighties again.

Kent
Hey, I got some old home movies if you want we can pull out the projector.

Tylor
Oh, that would be fun. Take a stroll down memory lane.

Narrator
Kent drags out and old dusty box that contains rolls of film and an old projector to play them. He then sets it up in the living room. After many attempts, he gets the projector working and they begin to watch a home movie from when they were kids in 1985.

Kent
Well, let’s return to the past. At least we can visit in spirit…

Tylor
Oh, there we are, look at our haircuts. Our moms never did want to pay for them.

Kent
I remember my Mom put a bowl on my head and cut around it.

Tylor
You really can’t tell that much.

Kent
Thanks.

Tylor
I can’t believe they let us walk around with our shorts so short. My gosh.

Kent
And those gym socks.

Tylor
And half shirts. Did we own mirrors back then?

Kent
Hey we looked cool!
We always had to do our chores before we could do anything. There I am taking out the trash.

Tylor
I remember doing homework, then washing the dishes by hand, then I had to take out the garbage, and clean my room. By then it was time for a bath and bed.

Kent
Yep. And my mom always made me go to bed before the sun went down.

Tylor
Lame.

Kent
Yeah.

Tylor
Oh, look there’s our friends, see no phone calls, when we wanted to meet up with our friends… oh shoot.

Kent
Yeah, they were NOT our friends.

Tylor
I don’t remember them shoving me into the garbage can head first.

Kent
I do remember them kicking the can down the street.

Tylor
Yep, there I go…. now I remember the landing….

Kent
Dang. Is that your sister laughing?

Tylor
She was always so mean.

Kent
Makes sense that she is the elementary school principal now.

Tylor
Here we go, Christmas. There’s got to be a good memory here.

Kent
Yeah, Christmas was always a blast.

Tylor
See I got the Star Wars figurines. That was awesome.
Is that your Dad hiding behind the Christmas tree hitting a bottle of whiskey?

Kent
Sure, looks like it. And there’s my Mom arguing with Aunt Sissy. You couldn’t have them in the same room together.

Tylor
They were so dramatic.

Aunt Sissy
I told you not to cook the ham on such a high temperature. Now it’s burnt. What are you going to serve the kids, pork and beans?

Mom
If I want to serve pork and beans for Christmas I will. It’s my house! And you can kiss my ass. I told you we can cut the burnt parts off.

Kent
Ha ha. Your sister stole your Star Wars figurines while you weren’t looking.

Tylor
She melted them later in the back yard.

Kent
Oh, the memories.

Narrator
Kent switched off the projector and they both sighed. For a moment they thought about their childhood.

Kent
Maybe we didn’t have such an awesome life back then.

Tylor
No, it looks like there’s a bonus to this digital age.

Kent
We can avoid our friends and only contact them when we need them.

Tylor
No one shoves you in a garbage can head first and then kicks you down a hill.

Kent
There’s that. And, we don’t have to deal with family gatherings, or our siblings during the holidays.

Tylor
Speaking of, I need to go shopping for new clothes. We are going on a virtual cruise with my parents in the fall.

Kent
Oh, nice. Where are you going this year?

Tylor
Mexico. I even learned some Spanish for the trip.

Kent
That’ll be fun.

(sound of text message)

Kent
That’s work. We have a conference call in ten minutes. I had better order my food delivery quick over the web before it gets too late. Hey, remember when we had to physically go to work?

Tylor
In the snow and ice? I remember.

Kent
Ha ha. Thank goodness we don’t live in the eighties anymore.

Tylor
We sure do have it better now. I’ll catch you later online.

Kent
Yeah man take it easy.

(door closes and is locked.)

Narrator
Kent looks around his office and sets down his cup of coffee. He thinks about his life now and smiles. He turns on the conference call on his computer, sits at his desk and begins to effectively communicate to his colleagues over the web. Later that night Kent placed the projector in the back of the attic and he never again wished he was back in time.

The End

Thanks for Reading!

I nominate @littlscribe, and @snook to enter the Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest Round #31

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