ACT III, Scene iv
Continued
Philotis: Bergetto!
Bergetto: My belly...
BERGETTO looks down at where he has been stabbed.
Bergetto: Aches.
Philotis: Some villain has slain you, my love!
Bergetto: (Looks earnestly at Philotis, confused) 'Tis...
PHILOTIS expects BERGETTO to say something romantic.
Bergetto: Urine...
Philotis: What, my love?
Bergetto: ...in my pants.
BERGETTO collapses.
Bergetto: Farewell, cruel world.
He dies.
Enter RICHARDETTO, followed by POGGIO who stands behind him.
Richardetto: What in the name of Mercy...
RICHARDETTO sees BERGETTO on the ground as PHILOTIS holds him in her arms.
Philotis: Uncle!
Poggio: Master!
RICHARDETTO fakes a gasp of shock and horror. The reaction itself does not look believable.
Richardetto: Oh me, oh my. Signior Donado's nephew has been slain! Oh me, oh my.
RICHARDETTO gives a hint of a smile.
Poggio: (Horrified) What on Earth should we do, sir?! My master! My master!
POGGIO is about to rush to his master’s side when RICHARDETTO holds him back with his forceful hand extended.
Richardetto: (to Poggio) Don’t worry, son, it’s just a mere puncture wound. Nothing a little Vaseline can’t handle.
Poggio: But...
Richardetto: Go! Go get some help! Now!
POGGIO nods and rushes off.
Philotis: (Fake sadness) Uncle?
Richardetto: (Calling behind him) Guards! Officers! Sound the alarms and dispatch the emergency vehicles, for Bergetto, nephew to the Duke of Lancashire, has been slain! Oh, what a horror! Cruel and unforgivable world! Please, find the man who did this! Find him! String him up by the loins and burn his organs out with a flaming poker! And twist!
Philotis: Uncle!?
PHILOTIS is disturbed by this imagery.
Richardetto: Come, Philotis! Time is of the essence. We have work to do! Quickly!
Philotis: But what about...
Richardetto: Never mind, Philotis! Put the corpse down. We’ve got to go hither as the plot thickens and our plans unfold! We must prevail at once for a great tragedy hath occurred and we must inform the King!
PHILOTIS plops the body down on the ground and proceeds to wipe her pants off as she stands up.
Richardetto: Good show. Let’s get moving.
RICHARDETTO puts his arms atop her shoulders and gently moves her toward the exit as he follows behind.
She trots along.
Sirens go off.
They exit.
LIGHTS DIM.
TRANSITION MUSIC TO NEXT SCENE
END SCENE