Diary Of A Lekki Houseboy

Part 2
After the chores, I picked one or two clothes my uncle gave to me before he travelled.
Straight to the backyard to wash the Paul Smith shirt in it. “Oh Lord! God Bless that tailor!!” I said in my mind as I stood to laugh at the XL on the label right on the reflection of me in the windows. The tailors opposite the estate are my best friends by the way, to the extent that once they see me at their door, the say “Uncle don dash you again?”, and sometimes, I tell them I don’t have money and they do it free for me. (As a comfam customer).
Getting to the backyard, I saw a blessing in disguise!!! Lol! Well, let me tell you why I had to wash at the backyard. My Uncle’s wife caught me washing my clothes in my ROOM and made me starve for days, calling me a village boy. Which was true, as I spent my first 14years in the village. But she now ordered I start washing my clothes at the backyard, and this faithful day was my very first.
Which marked the end of an Era
Earpiece plugged to my ear with Davido’s Dami Duro song Jamming, I headed to the backyard.
Passing the store room, I felt like I was shouting because I was singing along to the rave of the moment, so I paused my music to test my voice, but what I heard was a soft moan coming from the store room. This was strange! As the store room was
ummm.. A store room. So I positioned myself, like the way I used to do when I wanna watch
Indecency from neighbour’s window. (R.I.P Dayo).
As I drew closer to the window, the moaning became clearer! D--n, it was just like it was in Indecency. As it was a store room, it had no cottons and the window wasn’t completely closed. But the sun was rising, I immediately remembered something about shadows in physics, so I applied physical calmness. As I tiptoed to the window like a Ninja, I saw Abu. Abu was a family friend to my uncle who came to visit earlier in the morning. But I couldn’t see the girl he was on due to the small opening on the window.
I tried guessing, this was when I remembered Abigail and Faith went out in the morning while I was washing their sister’s car. So, I concluded it was Esther, in these thoughts, I tiptoed back to where I abandoned my Mission “Wash Paul Smith” for party. Standing, bitting my nails and thinking of what JACK SPARROW would have done, I
reminisced on things Esther had done to me.
Treating me like an house boy, making me eat left overs and even insulting my Mum/Dad.. Which I hated so much!!!!
Oh My!, I was so lost in thoughts to remember that I was having a hard on from the live Indecency I just watched. I had to position my lagbaja (Penees, Deeck, Anyhow ) very well when I got back to reality, so, I headed back to the house, leaving the bucket, soap(bathing soap, she refused giving me omo), and the shirt.. Straight to the house with my evil thoughts.
In my Perry Cole boxers, Lagbaja was now flaccid when I entered the house, behold.. I got the shock of the year!!! (Ok! It was december 24th, and it was the shock of the year at that time.)
I opened the Door, looking straight to the direction of my room when someone called from the kitchen wing “Danladii!!”.. At this Moment, I was like a confused confuse(no word for it I guess ). The rate at which Lagbaja inflated couldn’t be determined at that moment, . All I knew was that If Perry Cole saw me in those boxers, he would be depressed. . I managed to look back, and there she was, standing closed to the dinning table, still in her nighties, her hair scattered. And I stood, praying that God turns me into an Owl(Do you know owls can turn their heads in 360degrees? Well, now we know.).
WATCH OUT FOR PART 3