“Why me?”
He knew if he didn’t hurry up he was going to be late for work, but he didn’t want the blood to set in the blanket.
The blood was difficult to rinse out of the blanket.
He finally took it outside, and used a scrub brush, some powdered soap, and the garden hose. He hung the wet blanket in the tree to dry.
He double checked the bed.
The blood hadn’t soaked any further.
He tried to find his cat, Meeker, but she was nowhere to be found.
He had to hurry and leave. He hoped Meeker would be OK.
Getting to work was a pain. He had to catch the bus at Angeles Street, a 20 minute walk. He was sure he was going to miss the bus, but as he rounded the corner to Angeles Street, there was the small group of regulars still waiting for the bus.
“Dude, your pants.” Said the long haired surfer transplant from California.
“Yeah, I know.” He wanted to leave it at that.
The lower part of one of his pant legs had gotten wet in cleaning the blanket.
He reached for his wallet to pull out the money for the bus pass. He luckily had the 3 dollars, plus enough for lunch.
The bus showed up, whipping the dirt and leaves into their faces and hair. Apparently, the driver was running late.
He climbed on, putting his money in the bill acceptor, took his token, and found a seat.
His cell phone rang, and he answered it. It was his sister.
“Julie, I was in such a rush, I didn’t get a chance to call you back.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I took a shower, got out, and found blood on the bed cover.”
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Try to spell out of your every story, a strong and clear easy-to comprehend moral.
Otherwise, Grammar, punctuation....the story build....you write well.
Its unfortunate you still have not got much attention here. Keep writing quality work, the recognition will finally come.
But at least you have mine, not much, but you have it.
Thanks
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I will take your attention gladly. I only had 300 words to work with. Thanks for the input. I'll let you in on a secret he blood came from his female cat - her first period. Have a happy new years and thanks again.
Brent
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Wao, that is revealing. But i needed to have found that out from the story itself. The connection didn't come out so well. But again, the work is good. Thanks.
300 words you say, you might want to look up my own <300 word stories. here are the links. https://steemit.com/story-300words/@ebitularmbert/unforgiven and https://steemit.com/story-300words/@ebitularmbert/a-short-story-judgement-day.
Thanks again
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And by the way, you might want to look up @mitneb. Are you on Steem chat? If you are not, register and message her directly. She is okay with it.
She is a really good help for minnows/beginners. Her guidance, correction and promotion will get you fast on your way up to catching attention here at steemit. The quality of your work looks promising, and she'll be of good help, to curate, and to publicize.
I will gladly offer to help you make acquaintance with her, if you so wish, but you can do it yourself. Go straight and message her. You wont regret!
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You know, I was curious how accurate that part of Steemit that is supposed to show your replies was. This post of yours didn't register. I will have to check into your suggestion. I am following @mitneb now. Thanks
Brent
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Oh, sorry. It should have. Yours show up on mine. Anyways go ahead and check out @mitneb. You wont be disappointed.
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293 words. You couldn’t fit much more in, but it would be good to understand the context of the blood. Was there a murder and was Julie the accomplice?
I think by cutting out some of the sentences which did not develop the plot, you could have given us more of the story.
Upvoted.
Edit: I read the other comment about the cat’s period......
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I don't think I won the contest, so I could possibly push it pass the 300 word limit and do the reveal. Have a happy new year. Upvoted and followed.
Brent
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I think I need less blood, more positive
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