A Geek in Prison - A Life Series by Charlie Shrem (Part 3 - I'm Actually in Prison)

in story •  8 years ago  (edited)

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This is Part 3 in a series about my life as a Geek in Prison. Click my name to follow me and check out my blog for the Preamble and Parts 1-2. All names are changed to protect inmates privacy.

March 31st, 2015

Woke up around 7am, barely slept through the night. The total shock of yesterday is starting to kick in. Omar said it would be super hard to sleep and he was right, but the earplugs helped a little. I took a shower this morning, there wasn’t much of a wait. Using the showers are like trying to land an airplane on a runway with no traffic control. All the planes that are waiting to land and take off are speaking to each other directly.

To prevent yourself from crossing someone else you wait outside and yell:

Showers

Eveyone in the showers will reply

1 on the right, 2 on the left

Meaning there is 1 person on the right and 2 on the left, so there is a right shower empty. Then I say.

Coming in on the right

I go into the changing room area assigned to my shower and say

In on the right

When I’m ready to cross into the shower I say

Crossing on the right

And I let them know when I’m in the shower. When I’m finished, I do the same but backward.

shower.jpg

I was issued my khakis today and I have to wear them from 7am until 4pm. After 4pm I can dress down into shorts or sweatpants. They are olive green and not the most comfortable things in the world.

It feels weird not using a cell phone and technology. Everything here is word of mouth, there is no google and information is trickled in. I think the hardest part is learning how to use my own resources to grow and not the internet. I need to learn how to read bullshit and filter through wrong information to find the right answers. Your word is your life here, we all live together so if you don’t follow through, no one else will trust you. Information travels fast here. The slang for when you hear about a rumor or unverified information is “I heard it on Inmate.com”

On the outside, I had this Bitcoin celebrity status. In here, no one knows me nor do they care about me. I’m just inmate 92164-054. As I walk through the range, using the rest room, making coffee I notice some hateful stares. People have their every day routine. Some for 1, 5, even 10 years and here I am going about it like I own the place. I need to change that attitude and humble myself. How do I stay out of someones way but at the same time still be assertive? Everything is such a fine line here. If you back down you are a wuss, and if you stand up for yourself you go to the hole. I have a lot to learn.

After my shower I spoke to Courtney and had a 12 minute call. This used up my 10 minute allocation for the day and 2 minutes of tomorrow but it was my first day and really needed to talk to her.

She found the visitor form on the BOP website and is printing and mailing it today. The visits are once a month Saturday and Sunday from 8am - 3pm. You get 1 weekend a month which is based on the last digit of your register number and last name. My number ends in 4 which is an even number and my last name ends in an S so my weekend is coming up this week! If I can’t get her approved in a few days, I won’t be able to see her for 5 weeks. On the outside I’m so used to things being done within minutes of when I want it to be done, but in prison I have to learn to get used to things taking days sometimes weeks. I can’t always get what I want when I want it, this is a thinking error as I would later learn.

Here in Lewisburg, I learnt that there is a program called RDAP. The Residential Drug Abuse Program. RDAP is the prisons most intensive treatment program. Cognitive Behavior Therapy is used in a modified therapeutic community model where inmates experience living in a pro-social community. Inmates live in a unit separate from general population; they participate in half-day programming and half-day work, school, or vocational activities for 9 months. In reality, RDAP is 24 hours a day because your life in prison revolves around it. If you graduate, you can get time taken off your sentence from 6 months to 1 year. The program focuses less on drugs, more on dissecting your life and rational thinking. Why do you feel the way you do and how does that effect your actions and reactions. I may try and get into the program. I would get to go home earlier and it would help in my quest bettering myself.

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Skipped lunch today because the line was too long. Lunch is served around 1030am and follows a 5 week menu. Wednesdays are burgers, and Thursday is chicken so those are the best days. Today they were serving chicken patties, although I’m not sure if there is chicken in it. I think I’m going to be a vegetarian in here. You wait on line, scan your ID card and get a tray which is what you may have used in school. Usually for lunch is a protein, a carb, vegetable and fruit. Today was chicken patty on a bun with baked potatoes and green beans. For dessert an apple or bag of chips. To be honest, some of the food isn’t bad but I guess its because it was all I was used to. Unfortunately, the seating choices are as diverse as I’m used to being from Brooklyn.

I will likely make some soup in a few minutes of ramen and mackerel with some adobo, jalapeños and garlic powder. I miss Courtney a lot but I need to focus on getting out. We speak in the morning and we say good night to each other on the phone. During the day we email as well.

To use the email, you log into the prison intranet on one of the computers. You can add someone to your contract list and it emails the contact asking if they want to communicate with you. If they accept, you can start sending emails. It costs $0.05 a minute and there is a 90 minute delay from when you send an email to the person receiving it and vice versa. When you log out you have to wait 30 minutes before logging back in.

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My locker is more like a pantry. I have candy, tuna fish, chicken breast, various drinks, ramen, soups, soy and hot sauce. Everything is either shelf stable or in powdered form. I’ve seen some of the guys cooking up some crazy things, but right now ramen is as far as my culinary skills go.

An hour ago I watched CNN with Shimi. Shimi is the personal injury lawyer I mentioned earlier and he lives in Range 1, downstairs from me. He has been helping me out alot and I’ve been shadowing him. Tonight he said after dinner I can go play spades with him and some other guys.

Everyone in my Unit is pretty cool for like the first five minutes. I’v noticed after that, either they become hostile towards me or ignore me all together. Overall its like living in a small town with minimal outside communication. In the bunk next to me is Tommy, a former judge from the midwest. I look forward to getting to know him.

I used the bathroom earlier and a few minutes after I got out noticed a lot of hostile stares from guys in the range. I couldn’t figure out why. When Omar got back from work I asked him and he spoke to some of the guys. He came back and told me that I smelled up the whole range because I did not courtesy flush. Courtesy flush? Yes, while you are sitting on th toilet you have to flush every minute or so because the water starts smelling up the place. He explained to them it was my first day but it was a bad first impression.

At 7pm after dinner and cards I’m going to try out Yoga. I’ve never done it before, but I’m told its good to have in your routine and helps with stress and anxiety.

……

Dinner was pepper steak with broccoli and soda! Yoga was intense and the classes are offered 3 days a week. It takes you out of mental prison for an hour so its worth it.

I’m wiped out so I’m going to call Courtney and try to sleep.

I can do this. I think.

-Charlie

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USA County "Cages" are almost THAT bad... getting there !

Me too! That's horrible !

Rule by force is pretty, huh?

There is something majorly wrong with the world. I bet you 90% of those men are in on drugs charges.

LOL you can't be serious

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

LOL you can't be serious

100%.

Do you know what is going on over there at the moment?

Look it up.

The President of the Phillipines Rodrigo Duterte has told the public to murder drug dealers. People (police included) are turning themselves in left and right, so that they too, are not murdered in the streets, legally.

Naturally, the cells are becoming a little crowded.

So far more than 1,900 people have died. Of those more than 700 have been killed in police operations since Duterte took office in late June.

Do some research, before you go making snide remarks please. Here, I will even be so kind as to make your life easier. In particular, go to about 5:50 - 6:10 in this video, pertinent to our discussion.

Just got back from being held for 3 full days at Manila Airport because I had been blacklisted by the Immigration office there. My landlord had made up a bullshit story so that he could grab my deposit and rent my building to somebody else. Avoid anything to do with this country

If there were any consistency in these things, travel advisories for the Phillipines should be, 'Do not travel'.

I saw some footage/special report about that as well... the prez is a hardcore dude. I'm sure you also heard about the bullet scam they had at the airport for a while... messed up!

@mqtodd

I'd like to hear more, care to do a post? As a have laptop (well I don't but my desktop is pretty small) will travel kinda feel, keeping up on stories like yours is key.

Selling drugs is worse than murder so I'd have to agree with the President. Kill 'em all.

Where were those photos taken?

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

Manila, Phillipines. Check the name of the image - right click, open image in new tab, or, save image as.

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

These pictures make me sad. No one should have to live like this.

Or in Russia or Ukraine. You really lucky. You have there more like a resort than a prison

https://www.steemimg.com/image/2bCdK

Jesus that looks horrible!!

So far sounds very similar to Orange is the New Black.

Writing emails is the most time consuming part, sending doesn't take much time at all. Must suck for slow typers.

I always thought that prisoners should be allowed a computer (without internet connectivity). At least that way they could be "productive" in writing, editing, etc without having to resort to pen and paper.

Very true, many guys were slow typers and would have others type for them.

They sold typewriters as well!

Many state prisons sell tablets now

Tablets in prison?))
For russians it sounds like weird joke)

Did anyone go into business doing that as a side job? I can imagine you could make a bit of extra money by charging people for fast typing. I would! Then again, doing that for money instead of as a favor might just piss people off...

A basic computer would be a great incentive for good behavior. You could extend the paid e-mail system to cover other types of apps as well - for example such and such a cost for being able to use Word, or a graphics design package, or play games, etc. I can even imagine a prison "app store" (we have a private app store at work for getting software certified as safe for use on the firm's computers).

"I heard it on Inmate.com"

lol

If it makes you feel any better, our showers were done by standing at the position of attention in a long line in our towels with about 15 seconds between each wave.

Orchestrated chaos =P

Really enjoying these. The only way I can relate is with Infantry Basic Training... it just _'feels' _ the same to me. On the 'freedom of movement' sliding scale, they seem quite close.

Looking forward to part 4.

It "feels" like basic training because it is just another "institution" that does not permit freedom of choice/movement.

Thanks !

This is a really interesting series, looking forward for more. I'm curious about the phone usage: did you keep a cell phone with you or was a fixed phone? Could you call anyone as long as you kept in your minutes allowance?

It was a fixed phone in the unit. 300 minutes a month max which costs about $70. My first month I ran out with 12 days until my reset, so I didn't speak to anyone on the phone for 2 weeks. You can pretty much add anyone to your list.

Thanks. I assume the calls are recorded/monitored, right?

What you have written is a paradise rather than a prison.

Just getting started....

So how do you get computer access? Internet? In your cell? Laptop? Tablet? Linux? Window? :O If I had a computer in jail it would be no different than my life at home xD

Also do you have a cell mate or do you get your own room? Sorry I kind of skipped around a lot maybe you answered all these xD

The Bums should commit some crime to get this free luxury in prison.

On the streets you can relax, this 'luxury' comes with the price that you can never sleep in comfort.
There is no guarantee that you get out any time you go in.

  ·  8 years ago (edited)Reveal Comment

@joele AND @papabab DOWN VOTE !!! REALLY ???

Great job again! Keep it up, can't wait reading some more of this story. glad to read your psyche stayed sane enough to come back to us in the fashion you are doing here on Steemit! Namaste :)

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

That first night, surely, must have been the toughest? Perhaps you are not ready to divulge that just yet, if so, that's fine.

Who would you like to play your character à la "Shawshank Redemption" styles (I think your story should be a movie eventually)? Shawshank is probably my favorite movie, ever. You may not want to watch it for a while though. :)

I have one actor in mind, but his name is not coming to me at this moment. Perhaps you could play yourself. Any good at acting? :P

What is the one thing, now that you are out, that you completely relish in, every single day? I understand seeing your family etc, but I mean... is there anything that may come as a surprise to us i.e the simple things?

Can you listen to music inside (headphones)?

Mad respect mate.

On the outside I’m so used to things being done within minutes of when I want it to be done

...You should see Bitcoin confirmation times lately. heh. :P

Keep them coming @charlieshrem.

@charlieshem I really am amazed with your story, shocked is a better description. I am assuming there are a very few on steemit that can empathise with what you have been through. I completely know and understand your lack of freedom, but am blown away at this term of "Prison". So "THIS" is a federal prison ! WoW !! I am so glad you were there instead of a "state" prison. Charlie, I really mean that, I'm glad you were there. I have heard about "Fed" prisons, and now, because I do believe every word you are saying I have to agree ... they REALLY are like a resort. (Compared to a "State" facility)
I am so happy for you that you did not see or live the life that most ? of us see and live when going to prison.

If i didn't know who you were and remember hearing about your case and then waiting to hear the verdict (still shocked), I would believe that this is a completely made up story by a completely uninformed, delusional "Utopianist", Because this is DAMN sure NOT what we think of when we hear or talk about prison in the USA ! Charlie, Please do not believe for ONE minute that I am inferring that what you went through was not a horrible and traumatic experience, I am just shocked at (That? ) prison. Again, I am very happy for you that you went there instead of a state prison. You DIDN'T DESERVE to even GO THERE !!!
Now that I have a glimpse of a "Fed" prison, I am PISSED to know that so many in Fed prison are living like this ! and SHOULD BE (IMHO) in an Animalistic, Torturous NORMAL prison !! "Bernie" Madoff for one !

"Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption, (Shawshank)" by SK, "Brubaker" (Movie) About conditions inside Tucker Prison Farm (In Arkansas) ("Wakefield" in the movie) Isn't it IRONIC that MY P.O.'s name is Wakefield, (in Arkansas) and "The Jacket" Jack London, are from MY experience a more true depiction to what a regular (State) prison is like.

I saw from your reading list that you have read a number of Grisham's books, that DO give some accurate descriptions of life in prison, so I'm sure you have an idea of how lucky you are !
Again, I AM saying I am just glad you went to where you did go ! I am sure you ARE thankful ! I would really like to hear your feelings on this, perhaps in a "Summation" post at the conclusion to this series of post !

Please do not be offended Charlie, to belittle your experience is certainly NOT my intention !!! I am just blown away at the conditions and life in a "Fed Pen".
Thanks for sharing this, so many haven't a clue to what you have went through and some of us had no idea what a "Fed" pen was like, thanks again !

Thank you for replying and talking about state prisons. I hope steemit.com can as a community put prisons to bed.

good one charlie :) can't wait to read about Tommy too...

Another 3 grand ..this is fucking sickening. I AM GOING TO FIND OMAR, SWEAR TO GOD!

Courtesy Flushing!? Dude your name is Shrem, are you telling me your father never told you not to "let it cook!?" What the hell ..

It has become a habit to read your posts about the prison). Thx!

molto interessante

I hope that all of your followers look forward to your posts as much as I do.

Nice series.... the details really invite the reader to stay on the story!

This is an insane story I mean thank god you where in a good prison I've heard some crazy horror storys am just glad it's not one of those storys

So much order and rule-following in prison. Incentives always govern behavior, I guess.

wow great to know the insight of this stuff.

Good job

Thank you for sharing your story.

The courtesy flush is definitely code! Although......some institutions limit flushing to 2 minute intervals to deter flooding which means...plan to flush as soon as the last of it leaves your body, no later, no earlier.

That some pretty Joint where you have been .

Amazing story, prison life captivates me. I have three friends that went to prison when I was a teenager. I moved on and went to the military. I always wondered what prison life was like, but never wanted to experience it.

Fascinating, Charlie! I'm really hooked into this story. It's very cool that you used the yoga to mentally escape for a few minutes. Did you ever try meditation?

I would die in prison.

The next great part, thanks for sharing!

I believe it is tough beeing the "newbie" in prison.
You have a strong mental power. Thinking positive in prison is like breathing under water. Thank you for sharing your memories.

Like I'm reading a book and this is chapter 3

many in need

great read very compelling
thanks for sharing

Is this an excerpt from a journal you kept while in prison? How often did you write in it? Seems like a good technique to maintain your mental discipline and not give in to darker emotions. The showers sound awkward, to say the least. I think the hardest thing for me would be dealing with the lack of privacy. I could handle having my freedom curtailed and having to live a strictly regimented daily routine, but no privacy... man that's tough.

Dude...they locked up a judge?
....is that completley black ops or what?

was probably a judge that found out about the corruption in the system and tried to do something about it.

Great story! Thank you for writing so interesting .

It looks like schools and dorm.

Great post my friend. Am really impressed

This sounds nothing like the prison my people go to.

@charlieshem Keep it up my man, stay strong. Amazing post, yet again. You should pursue being a writer or something when you get out of the joint. Keep posting more updates! I feel your pain man .. the pen is no fun. Good you're making the best of a shit situation.

Damn man, I can feel all sorts of emotions while reading this. What a time!

Interesting window on this world inside. Thank you!