A Sneak Peek

in story •  8 years ago  (edited)

Hello esteemed steemians, thought I would share a little taste test of the next short story in my series. It's rough and unedited. Also, I have a cover in the works, it is not a final product :) Enjoy!

>Drina woke with a start. Looking around to see where she was, it was dark, cold and smelled of mildew. She shivered as she tried to get up from the ground. Underneath her palms felt damp and freezing cold, but still her eyes had not focused. Using her other senses, Drina determined she is outside. Off in the distance a bird tweeted and anotjher responded. The smells of crisp early morning fall wofted on the gentle breeze. Suddenly a blast of wind and warmth engulfed Drina causing a chill to run down her spine. A light flashed in the distance, simultaneously. With the brief moment lighting the area, she could see she was indeed in a forest. But why?

Finally come to her senses Drina stood up and headed in the direction towards the flash of light. It was no longer bright but she had to investigate. Maybe someone could point her in the direction of home. Home, she thought about that word for a few moments longer trying to actually define it in her mind. Did she have a home? And where is it? Is it here? Shaking off the thoughts, Drina continued to trek throught the woods, stumbling every now and again because it was not yet light out.

Coming to the edge of a clearing, a fire lit in the middle, Drina caustiously looked around. Seeing no one, she stepped out of the tree line and towards the warmth of the fire. Upon reaching the radiating heat of the fire, she realized she was shivering uncontrollably. Dropping to her knees, Drina reached out her hands to welcome the warmth of the flames only the flames danced away as if avoiding her touch. Drina pulled back her hands in shock and stared down at them. A thorough inspection gave her no indication of anything wrong, normal hands. She reached out again a little slower this time. Again, the flames danced away.

Scratching her head and staying on her knees, she decided to just sit and warm up before doing anything else. Even though she couldn't hold her hands to the flames she could still feel the fire's warmth. The snap of a twig on the forest floor to her right set Drina to freeze in her place. She slowly tured her head towards the sound afraid to see what made it, but nothing. Giving her head a shake she told herself to relax, a fire kept wild animals away, she will be safe beside the open flames. Another snap followed by a crunch came to her right again. This time she jumped up ready for whatever and was to come out of the wood. After a few moments and a few more snaps and some shuffling, a woman emerged. She was wearing a long cloak of red velvet and the hood set back off of her head. Eyes that shimmered a vibrant green, with flecks of gold could be seen from across the clearing.

"I know you don't I?" Drina said with a crack in her voice. She spoke as if she had not spoken for years. Clearing her throat she realized she was very thirsty.
"You do now me Drina. We met in another world, in a different time." Responded the woman. Moving as if floating along the ground and without a sound had Drina wondering what had made the noise past the tree line.
"Do not be afraid, I am here to help. You must be freezing. Here please take this." The woman had reached under her cloak to pull out another similar to her own. Drina was unsure to take the item. "It is okay, it is not made of teeth and therefore will not bite you" The mysterious figure smiled to her eyes.
"Thank you." Was all Drina could say and put on the robe.
"See? this must feel much better?" Smiling the woman didn't wait for a response but turned toward the fire and continued speaking. "This fire is a special fire to those who will pay attention." She reached out her own hand and the flames moved away just as they had for Drina. What Drina didn't notice when she first set her hands toward the fire, was the stairway open up beneath the flames."Come with me and I will tell you more about who you are Drina."

Thank you for following my blog and please leave comments, up vote and reblog - fitmama <3

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Original work like this should earn more than a penny. Resteemed.

Thank you so much :)

This is a nice start. You need to focus a bit on your tenses, as it switches back and forth a bit.
It would also be good to explore her feelings some more, and add some more description of the forest, to make it seem more threatening.
But as a synopsis for that start of the story I think you have done a good job ;-)

I really appreciate your comment, thank you :)

I really like your writing style, and the art for the cover is nice too.
Surrealism is my favorite.

Thank you! :)

Your cover art is engaging. I like it. You have a writing style that is warm, inviting, and yet mysteriously enticing.

Thank you very much! :)