'Not Quite Pleasantville' - Steemit Story Chain #18 Where You Write the Story and 100 Whaleshares for the Winner

in story •  7 years ago  (edited)

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Welcome to the Steemit Story Chain

I hope this post finds all you Steemers out there well. It is time for another Steemit Story Chain contest where I ask you all to continue writing a story that I start. This week's story is entitled Not Quite Pleasantville.

I want to say thank you to all those who contributed to the last story chain. We had a huge response and it was a story that had a record twelve writers. So thank you to @kingernie, @yassine, @jorlauski, @camilus, @barge, @bless-b, @viraythewitch, @sarahbjones, @choicewilliam, @geoffreydemars, @thot2word and @utomobong. You all contributed some very engaging parts of the story. However, unfortunately the chain became muddled and was not easy to read because some of you didn't number your parts and others didn't continue the story on from the last part. Anyway after a lot of deliberation I have now decided on a winner.

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@jorlauski

You took an already established story and built on it very effectively, creating a new dimension to the narrative and adding a nice twist. You even changed the genre to a more lighthearted and humourous one, while simultaneously incorporating a Steemit promotion.

You have won 100 Whaleshares. Please reply with your Bitshares account information and I will send the Whaleshares to your account immediately. Enjoy! If you don't have an account don't worry it's very simple and completely free to set one up here - https://bitshares.openledger.info/?r=akrid-1.

A reminder of the winning part is detailed below:

#13

A cold sweat broke as I sighed in relief at how silly I felt. Looking closer at the picture , I turned it around to look at the back of it . It had some scribbled writing on it that was mostly intact, but had some ink runs from being in a bottle in the lake. Though some moisture had seeped into the bottle -the message was still legible. I read the words and paused for a moment to try to understand what it meant - What would this message be doing here in this lake? - and who would have sent it?

The message was short and to the point - it had very clear instructions and there was a part of my curiosity that simply had to know more. I wanted to follow the instructions to see what would happen. With the crinkled picture in my sweaty hand, I tossed the bottle back to depth that it came from and turned away from the lake, and hurriedly made my way back to my house.

Just a few doors down from my house, old man Jack stepped outside to pick his cat up and noticed me. His eyes caught mine and suddenly, I was anxious the get past him with out all the niceties of having to make conversation. This mysterious note was burning a hole in my head and I could not think about anything else other than getting home to try it.

" Hi Jack .. good to see you .. gotta go!" I huffed at him as I put my head down and soldiered forward, fumbling for my keys. Finally reaching my doorstep, I slide the key into the lock and opened the door.I closed it quickly, took a deep breath and let it out as I leaned up against the closed door. Peace. Quite. My note!

I ran to my computer and sat down in front of it - it was already alive - silently blinking lights on the keyboard awaiting my commands. I took the picture and looked at it one time - hoping for some kind of further clues. Nothing - so I looked at the back again - ready to give it a shot.

Reading very carefully to make sure I understood what it meant , I read aloud the following words:

Want to change your life? Try Steemit.com

I furiously typed the address into my browser - suddenly the screen lit up with opportunity and wonder....wide eyed and full of excitement, I settled into my chair and grabbed my warmed over coffee mug ......


Let's now move onto this week's new story chain called Not Quite Pleasantville. If you want to enter the contest then make sure you upvote and resteem this post. I have already written the first part of the story below. All you need to now do is use the comment box to move the story on in your own unique style. Be as creative and original as possible. And of course have fun with it! You only need to write a short paragraph or two and remember to number which part of the story you are writing.

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This contest is sponsored by Whaleshares and I owe a big thank you to @akrid and @officialfuzzy. There are 100 Whaleshares for the winning entry. If you would like to learn more about Whaleshares and how they can increase your post rewards please visit https://steemit.com/whaleshares/@eirik/guide-on-how-to-use-whaleshares-updated-version where @eirik will gladly explain more to you.

What I am looking for in order to determine the winning entry is as follows:

  • A strong sense of imagination
  • Creative intelligence
  • Originality
  • Narrative fluidity (ensuring the story chain links smoothly)
  • Use of language, grammar and syntax (we need to understand what you're saying!)

The winner will be announced in a week's time. A new post will be published then announcing the winner along with a new story chain.

Part One of Not Quite Pleasantville

My town was my whole world. It was small and pleasant with good people. If ever you wanted to find an ideal place to live then Macklefield was it. Small and friendly it had a modesty about it. We were a close community, which I admit could be a little overbearing at times. There was little anonymity in Macklefield, but for most of us that worked fine. In fact it was important that this closeness was maintained. After all it was in all our interests to make sure no one knew. That no one ever found out. We had guarded our past very effectively for many decades, and while there was the occasional awkward question from rare visitors to the town, generally we had done a good job at protecting Macklefield and its residents. One dull rainy Wednesday afternoon a young woman turned up in the town. She was looking for Clarissa. The simple mention of this name sparked alarm in all of us. We knew that we now had to pull together. If we were to survive this stranger to our town, steps would have to be taken.

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Part 2

We are a town founded by the outcasts of society. Our ancestors believe we all carry abilities, “special senses” as we like to think of it. For some, the ability is as simple as bones aching when rain is sensed in the foreseeable future. Others are believed to see the future in their dreams. We lived on the borders of the wild, shunned by the town folks. Eventually, we were forgotten by the world. We didn’t mind. Simple folks, we liked to call ourselves.

Generations ago, Crow Mother Melda, had a vision. The story was passed from generation to generation, to not ever be forgotten. “Clarissa, is her name”, Crow Mother Melda forecasted. "You will know her by the golden sunshine glittering in her hair. You will know her by her fair skin and eyes the color of the depthless ocean. She will stop here one day. How you treat her, how you welcome her, your actions will unravel the events to come.” Pausing, she looked at every face around the camp fire and whispered.

"Someone will come looking for Clarissa one day. Someone powerful. It is your encounter with Clarissa that will decide the fate of this town. Be warned my child. Be warned that ill-will does not occur.”

Part 3, following @beeyou

Oh blessed and cursed Crow Mother Melda. How we have argued over her prediction and what course of action we should take, now that Clarissa finally came...
Since the prophecy was made years and years ago, nobody knew what it meant and how we were supposed to "treat her". Normally, if strangers pass by, we try to get rid of them as soon as possible on the one hand and without acting suspicious on the other. We are not bad people, we just know how society would treat us, if they ever found out about our abilities... We didn't want to end up as "freakshow".
It was five days ago that we had our regular town meeting and Clarissa appeared. The knock on the door of our city hall echoed through it and everybody turned their head. No one was missing, so who could be knocking?
A girl stood in the door and indeed, she looked like spring had kissed her into life.
Nobody was thinking of the old forecast, before she opened her mouth and said: "Uhm... excuse me, I couldn't find anyone until I came here. My name is Clarissa and..."
The rest of her introduction was lost. Drowned by a cry from the mayor's wife. "It's her! It can't be..."
She was easily upset and always doomsaying, but this time it seemed most of the town was uneasy as well. "What should we do?" another man asked, Terry the baker.
"What did the prophecy say? Something about the fate of Macklefield, wasn't it?"
"Maybe we have to kill her?" a boy said a few rows in front of me. That could only be Chris, he played a lot of violent games at home...
The girl was still standing in the door, but looked definitely unsettled now, too.
My memory wasn't very good at town-history, but I thought I remembered that we were supposed to welcome her, so I got up from my seat - gave Chris an annoyed glare - and turned towards her. "That was a stupid joke, of course..." I laughed with a nervous tone in my voice. "Hi, Clarissa and welcome to Macklefield!"
Her eyes locked with mine and she continued what she had wanted to say before.
"Please," she said. "I need your help!"

(thank you for another fun story to participate in. Have a great day, everyone)

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Wow!😊😊
I really like the artwork that brings positive ideas closer to people
Must be supported...
Thank you for your wonderful work
Have a nice day 😊

Good post

Thanks for sharing :)

Congratulations @jorlauski! :)

Thank you very much!

Hey @jorlauski :)
I agree, congratulations for winning! I really enjoyed your storypart as well!

Thank you!! It was fun - it feels good to stretch my creative muscles after so long. Thanks for the opportunity - my whale share acct is jorlauski

Edit

my whaleshare name is jorlauski1