'Was She There?' - Steemit Story Chain #16 Where You Write the Story and 100 Whaleshares for the Winner

in story •  7 years ago  (edited)

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Welcome to the Steemit Story Chain

Good afternoon Steemers and a big fat Happy New Year to you all! I hope you had a great Christmas holiday and fully recharged those batteries. Now it's time for another Steemit Story Chain where I invite you to continue a story that I start writing. This week's story is entitled Was She There?

I want to say a big thank you to those who contributed to the last story chain, particularly @jorlauski, @butterb and @virus95. You wrote some great additions to the chain and I read some very original narrative, so thank you for taking part. After much deliberation I have now decided on a winner.

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@jorlauski

You wrote a very engaging piece which fused the enigma of the story with a sobering layer of narrative, placing the story in a film set context which was very original, and then adding another layer complexity to the whole story. You have won 100 Whaleshares. Please reply with your Bitshares account information and I will send the Whaleshares to your account immediately. Enjoy! If you don't have an account don't worry it's very simple and completely free to set one up here - https://bitshares.openledger.info/?r=akrid-1.

A reminder of the winning entry is featured below.

1.

The fog of uncertainty lingered for a moment as objects around me begun to come into focus. With a sudden series of flashes and then a sudden dimming of the room, I heard a voice yelling something out. The sound was muffled and distant, but felt close to me.

"Cut!" someone was yelling. There was some commotion about me and then I heard the the words " That's a wrap".

A hand touched my shoulder, and I heard my name. Immediately everything snapped into place and became clear to me. My racing heart settled back into my chest and the anxiety began to recede. I knew where I was. I knew what was happening, but my heart sank with the dreaded realization that it was happening again. I had hoped it was just a one time thing - a fluke. Now, I as look around the room, I wonder if anyone noticed. These blackout spells are coming more frequently and it's getting harder to hide them. Being on a movie set helps a little, where people are used to being some else for a while - I could always act like I was thinking about a part or forgot my line - but that could only take me so far. It was only a matter of time before this happens right in spot light - literally

Just then , I started to hear a thunderous roar getting louder - I look around to see what is happening and to my complete surprise - surrounding me is the entire cast - all staring at me - CLAPPING - thunderous , enthusiastic clapping. Cheering and whistling accompanied the fanfare and I stood in shock as the applause continued.

I noticed now that the hand on my shoulder was the the director - he placed his free hand on my other shoulder and looked me on the eyes.

" That was an amazing performance! " He face lit up, with a genuine smile - the kind you see when you seem when you give a pretty waitress a tip. With flashing eyes, he said " Were did that come from? You really nailed it - look , I have tears in my eyes!"

I was overwhelmed - I had no idea what he was talking about - the last thing I remembered was standing off the side of the stage getting into character - then awakening from a blackout. I needed a drink....


Now moving onto the new story chain which is called Was She There? If you wish to enter the contest the first thing you need to do is upvote and resteem this post. I have written the first part of the story below and all you now need to do is move the story on using the comment box in your own original style. Be creative, ambitious and original. And have fun! You only need to write a short paragraph or two and remember to number your part of the story.

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This contest is sponsored by Whaleshares and I owe a big thank you to @akrid and @officialfuzzy. There are 100 Whaleshares for the winning entry. If you would like to learn more about Whaleshares and how they can increase your post rewards please visit https://steemit.com/whaleshares/@eirik/guide-on-how-to-use-whaleshares-updated-version where @eirik will gladly explain more to you.

What I am looking for in order to determine the winning entry is as follows:

  • A strong sense of imagination
  • Creative intelligence
  • Originality
  • Narrative fluidity (ensuring the story chain links smoothly)
  • Use of language, grammar and syntax (we need to understand what you're saying!)

The winner will be announced in a week's time. A new post will be published then announcing the winner along with a new story chain.

Part One of Was She There?

I often used to see her just standing there, staring. She'd appear out of nowhere. I used to look at her from my lounge window wondering what she was doing, more consumed by what she was thinking. She couldn't have been more than eighteen years old. I would see her from my lounge window, I'd look up and there she was, I'd look away for a few brief moments then look back and she'd be gone. At first I actually thought it was my imagination but then the more I saw her the more I realised she was real, I think. She was always locked into some private deep thought process. Almost in a trance. It was odd and a little unnerving I have to say. She looked troubled. One afternoon I switched on the local news and they ran a story about a teenage girl who had disappeared, she'd been missing for a year they said. I was completely shocked when they showed a picture of her, as I realised it was the girl that used to stand by my house. I don't really know what made me look but I did, and there she was again.

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Thank you @freedomexist! I really appreciate that you put this out each week - I hope to be more involved. my bitshares account name is JORLAUSKI1 - thanks again!!

Congrats @jorlauski. I liked reading your twisting plot. I knew it would be hard to follow after. 🙂

thank you very much! I liked your piece too - I was hoping to see the storyline develop more - I look forward to more of these.

Thanks. These are awesome, right?! I too hope we get more participants so we can see the story develop.

Part 6

The story Shina told me about how she came to be curse by her stepmother scared me. All of a sudden I wasn't so sure I wanted to help her anymore. What if the evil spirit decided to haunt me? Torture me? Forever? I did not deserve to suffer for eternity for a simple mistake! I started to try and think of an excuse. Anything to get out of the house, book a flight and leave the country. I was pretty sure that spirits were tied to places. If I left Shina wouldn't be able to follow me!

My resolve strengthened, I took a deep breath and told the lie: Shina, I'm going to a friend of mine who knows things about the occult and spirits. Maybe he can help us.

Shina said nothing and just stared at me with sad eyes. Did she know? Was it getting warmer? I smiled my most reassuring smile at her and grabbed my coat.

"I'll be right back", and I fled the house.

I drove straight to the airport and bought the first ticket that took me out of the country.

As I sat in the plane I thought of Shina and I felt bad. But in the end it was me or her.

And I choose me.

Part 5
The next day went by in a blur. All that was on mind was how to help Shina. That was her name. At the 11th hour of the evening, i saw her again. I asked her how she came to be tied to her boyfriend's step mother. This was her story. "Bobbel my boyfriend was an only child. His parents loved each other so much until disaster struck in the form of the other woman. He was sure she used voodoo of some kind because his parents fell out of love and his mother was kicked out their home. His step mother was a nightmare which of course was oblivious to his father and he was waiting till he turned 18 to leave their home in search of his mother. I met him as a lonely, abandoned kid and we found happiness together until his stepmother found out. She searched out my address and came for me. One night, I woke up to a dark shadow standing over my bed. I was tied and gagged while the shadow recited some words over me. She sprinkled some sort of powder into my eyes and nose and I fell back into sleep. I woke up with a tattoo of her name on left wrist and ever since, I always saw her in my dreams where we seemed to be attached by a cord of some sort.....

part 2

I did not understand why her appearance so frightens me. Yes, this girl was gone a year ago, but all I have to do is call the police and tell her she is here, near my house!

But for some reason I could not do it. I was getting sick at the thought of calling somewhere. But why?

The girl looked at me with empty eyes when I opened the window. I was struck by a cold winter, although it was a hot summer. The girl suddenly grinned and again dissolved, and I felt hot.

She's in my basement! the thought pierced me suddenly. But no, the cellar door is securely boarded up, no one can go in there? But why did I hammer the door of my cellar? What happened one year ago?

And why am I so sure that I can not call the police?

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Part 2 :
One night he saw her again. She was wiping. We woke up from his sleep and staring at her. " are you alright girl?" "No it hurts." She said that in so much pain. " What hurts?". She didn't replied. " Wait, I will help you."
He went down to the place where she was but she disappeared. He was shocked. He went back to his house but he heard her scream coming from the woods, He ran into the jungle searching for her. Suddenly the screamed stopped. He was nearby the lake. The lake was unlike before, he grew up there but never seen the lake so beautiful before. But at a sudden, he saw the lake turning red and ugly. It started smelling. He got so scared and started running to his home. He tripped and fell down in ground. When he moved his head up to get up, he saw the girl, blood in her face. " Do you remember me? " she asked him in a creepy voice.

Hey @virus95, thanks for your part of the story but can you please number it, thanks.

Done !!

-Part 3

"Who are you? What do you want from me" I almost yelled. "Do you remember what you did to me?" The girl said with a grin on her face.
In a second i went through my mind and i tried to spot this girl somewhere. Until it hit me, It was late december almost new years and i was driving back home slightly drunk with a girl i had just met at Branstons. Going down Summit Blvd We hit a Toyota Corola on the side. Inside said car there was 2 people the driver a lady about mid 40s and a girl around 16/18 years old. After we destroyed the whole front of that Corola we just took off and decided to leave it in the past.
"Well look at you with that worried expression in your face" she exclaimed. "Now that you remember me let me ask you"
....

4

“Where are we?” she asked. Blankly, I stared at her. This couldn’t be real. She’s a figment of my imagination. She’s not there. She’s not there.

She turned to look at me with those haunted eyes. I didn’t see hate or anger on her face. Uncertainty, yes. Confusion. Definitely. And something else. Something lurking under that hauntedness. Fear. Then clarity in her eyes.

“Please. You have to help me. She won’t let me go”, she begged. “I just want to go home. Please.”

I stared at her, disconcerted and bewildered by her plea. “You want...me..to help you? But, I was the one that hit you that night on the road.”

“Yes, I know”, she replied. “Don’t you know, you saved me. From her. She kidnapped me. She’s evil. She..she..killed my boyfriend. She tortured him before killing him. She would have done the same to me. You saved me from the torture when you hit our car that night. But her evilness. It’s still there. Her spirit won’t let me leave this place.”

“Please”, she begged again. “She won’t let me go and I just want to go home. I want to go where I belong. It’s not here. I know in my heart I belong somewhere else.”

I knew then that there was hope. Hope to redeem myself. I cowardly drove away that dark, drunken night. Here was my chance to set things right. But how can one help a spirit?

Your challenge was added to Steemit Contest Compilation (01.01-07.01): Win free SBD and STEEM for current week.

Thank you @freedomexists for giving Steemians (especially minnows) a chance to get free Whaleshares.

Please vote my post

I wish it snowed here too! Nice photo bro :))

I wrote a story. Can you read it?

Hey @beforeandafter, are you on Discord?

Very nice post