He just nodded his head without a word I heard from his mouth. A white Honda jazz stopped in a park that I not only visited once with Kak Rizal. For a moment I looked into the handsome face of Kak Rizal, my idol who is now studying S1 majoring in informatics at one of the universities in Bandung. I immediately opened the car door and moved from the passenger seat next to Kak Rizal. As I said before, this is not the first time I've been to this place even as often as I was close to Kak Rizal 4 months ago.
Kak Rizal and I walked together to the park, no handrails or anything like a lovers couple because we are not a pair of lovers even though in fact I have always wanted to bear that status. Yes, Kak Rizal is a person I loved so much since 2 years ago but only recently I was close to him. My heart pounded as if accompanying the stride of footsteps with Kak Rizal at that time. Oh my god, I want to continue this way with him I love him God made him my destiny, my inner impression.
Looks like the weather today is not supportive because the sky is already beginning to show its darkness, it looks like the rain will fall, I thought. My feelings suddenly change, I feel anxious and start worrying. I do not know the cause of my feelings, I like to experience something that makes me upset or what I do not understand, hopefully nothing happens, prayed in my heart.
Looks like the weather today is not supportive because the sky is already beginning to show its darkness, it looks like the rain will fall, I thought. My feelings suddenly change, I feel anxious and start worrying. I do not know the cause of my feelings, I like to experience something that makes me upset or what I do not understand, hopefully nothing happens, prayed in my heart.
"Kak we go back aja yuk, seems already want to rain ya" I said with anxiety.
"We just nyampe, I also have a premonition that I should stay here, you just calm" said Kak Rizal while throwing his sweet smile at me.
"I'll let's go again" he continued by stroking my hair. This heart is so flowery as he stroked my long hair, my heart is a little calm because of it.
"Flora" said Kak Rizal who seemed surprised to meet the women in front of us.
The woman looked so happy when with the man next to her who had hugged her waist, they were very intimate.
"Rizal, how come here is your boyfriend yes, thank goodness if you can forget me" Flora replied with a sweet smile from her lips.
"It's not Flo, he's not my girlfriend, I feel the same you never change from before until now." He replied quickly.
My heart can only guess by what actually happened between them before. Finally I concluded maybe they had previously dated and until now Kak Rizal can not forget it. My heart was broken when I realized it all, a feeling that I had never lost from my heart. Somehow I have to keep my tears, I thought.
"I love you Flo, and you also know that's why then why do you walk with this man after what we have been going through all this time" continued Kak Rizal.
Flora was silent, the man next to her gave up leaving Flora but I was still on Kak Rizal's side. "You say you love me too, I shoot you too repeatedly Flora and you just keep refusing it, what is really in your heart What Flora? Until you have the heart to hang a love that is only for you this for 3 years more "Rizal Kak sound somewhat up, maybe his emotions are now unbearable again. Little by little seen tears from them. But I could hold back these tears to keep from falling even though I was so stunned to hear Kak Rizal's explanation. After a while she began to speak.
"I'm sorry Zal, I'm sorry. I do not mean to hurt you, I do love you zal, but I have found someone who can make me more loving than you. I found something different in him that I did not find in you, I'm sorry forgive me "Flora burst into tears.
"Then what's the use with my loyalty for this Flo, for years I wait for you even I close the door of my heart to other women, it's all I do for you Flora"
This time the words that came out of Kak Rizal's mouth made me really crushed. I can not hold back my tears, the so complicated love I have chosen. So what did he mean for me, then what did he think? My heart is so sick to hear the explanation, like struck by lightning.
"Once again I'm sorry Zal, I have chosen it, forget me Zal and open your heart to other women. Sorry Zal, I have to go. "Flora's hand was held by Kak Rizal, instantly Kak Rizal immediately hugged him.
"Do not go Flo, do not leave me" said Kak Rizal who still embraced him like he did not want to release his embrace.
"I have to go" Flora replied by releasing Kak Rizal's arms. Both hands of Kak Rizal started holding her hand, he bent his knees in front of Flora.
"Is not this enough to keep you here?" Asked Kak Rizal. He just shook his head slowly and he roughly let go of Kak Rizal's grip. "Floraaaaa .." shouted Kak Rizal.
He began to helpless, Kak Rizal body looks began to weaken. I know exactly how it is. His heart must be completely destroyed just like me. I did not expect this to happen. It's like a nightmare, so bad. I never imagined this would happen. I just imagine if one day I can be with the person I love. All this is so difficult I understand.
"Haaahh !!" shouted Kak Rizal by kicking a small rock nearby. I wiped the remaining tears on my cheek and started to approach him.
"Patient sister yes, maybe this is the best. I'm sure it will be beautiful in time and if you are meant to be together you will be reunited "my advice to him. It was supposed to be the guideline for me. "You do not understand anything Ra, you just high school kids who still do not understand about love. This is more difficult than chemical matter "he explained.
I was surprised to hear the sentence from him. I was struck by a thunderbolt again, but he did not know that I am now experiencing similar things with him. "I'm sorry kak, if I'm already knowledgeable" I replied with a downcast.
Now the rain has begun to invade this park. People are running away from this place, but it looks like Kak Rizal does not care about it. He was still silent in this place, whatever makes him never go.
"Let's go home" I invited.
"I still want to be here" he replied.
"How long will it take? It's rain. "
"Until Flora comes back to me, I'm sure Flora will come here, come back to me."
"Kak Rizal tuh should be aware, kak Flora've taken the decision for ninggalin Sister, Kak Rizal should be dong accept the fact, move on kak" I tried to advise him but it seems that did not work out.
"I just love him, and only he who loves me sincerely because of love so big for me. You will not understand that, Rara "he said so clearly and made me more hurt again.
I paused for a moment, digesting all of Kak Rizal's sentence, I also returned to tears.
"Not kak, not just him who loves brother. Now look at kak, look at me. I stand here for you kak, even I'm sure my love is bigger than kak Flora. I love my brother from the first "I said by spilling all my tears. He did not move, not a word from his mouth. The sound of rain came back between the silence between us.
"Why are Rizal's sister silent? Kak Rizal never realize it will be all that, it's all because Blinds have blinded the same name Love, hiiks .. "sambungku. He was still silent, but I took the opportunity to reveal all my heart's content.
"I know it's painful. What sister rasain, I also rasain because it turns out my 2 years more love I watch for sister finally ended up like this. But I do not want to be like Brother, I want to rise kak maybe it's not the time that love is on my side and should be Rizal Kak also do the same thing. "
"Silence you Ra, you do not know anything. And one more, I I never love you and I also never ask you to love me. Remember that "he said by pointing his index finger in front of my face.
"Kak kak, kak Rizal really never asked me to love you but I also can not set kak with whom I fall in love if I may choose I will never want to fall in love with selfish guys like Kak Rizal" I explained with emotion.
The rain water ran crying at that moment, my first love that I thought would end beautifully was the opposite. My heart is completely devastated to hear everything, the wound in my heart is so painful I feel. I started walking backwards slowly away from Rizal's sister who was still frozen with his memories. I turned away with a slow move away from him. I was so eager to see my idol of my heart that has now broken my heart. For a moment I looked back.
"Love can not be forced because we can not arrange it. Forgive me who love you kak, this heart who has chosen you, I love you Kak Rizal though it must end like this. I hope you can be happy in your own way even though not with me "softly.
I continued my footsteps that had stopped. Now my tears have become an unending rain water. This place witnessed my tears with the rain.***