He would rather die than see those he love suffer. Yet love was something he lacked on all levels. Depression, loneliness, emptiness were his friends, why wouldn't they be, for the most part they've been the only thing keeping him sane and alive on a dark twisted complicated level. So he searched for a coping mechanism and yet he gathered more hobbies. He had friends a lot actually, most saw him, others knew him, few knew what he was.
He was the whole package both good and evil in one, hmmm really getting tired of referring to myself in the third person ah its so stressful, funny right? but thats what makes it cool, cool cool something we all deeply want to become, thats for another day.
I’m guessing all this started when responsibilities of an adult reared its ugly hydra head and the ever non stop exercise of trying to make ends meet, the ends which never ever seem to meet by the way. Give your life to Christ they said but religion was not something he wanted to dabble in.
There he was the only thing he needed was a way out, a way out from this life a way out of depression a way out of loneliness just a way out, obviously he turned to alcohol just like in the movies, why wouldn't he, for the most part he was indeed a nasty guy inside but what could he do being that was one of the nasty hobbies I picked up on my way self-discovery.
He knew there was darkness in his heart the problem was he wanted it out but he loved it at the same time he wanted the light but rejected it at the same time. And the everlasting battle for which to accept continues, just as it is with every goddamn human.
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She did not know that despite all of her efforts life would turn out the way that it Did, she prepared, she sacrificed social events, her sleep, parts of who she was to meet that goal.
When she meet the goal, there was no one around to share it with. She tried to reestablish the bridges she had burnt in order to succeed , but her new found status was no something others were happy about.
Not because of envy but due to the fact that she had shunned all that desired to help and support her.
After learning this she reverted back to the place in her mind, where she hears herself speak. The voice that has been by her side of this long lonely time.
Different people in different situations can feel the same way. Your isolation may be dark but I know that you are not alone in what you feel. And support is built on people knowing the real you.
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This couldn't have been better said
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