She Was My Best Friend

Before we get to the story, I'd like everyone to listen to this song while reading:

I know that the mv is all about the earthquake in Japan but it also helps build up the mood of the story. Please support the original video and do enjoy reading ^^.

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I've known her ever since we were little, mere children without a care in the world. I remember, vivdly, that we would play on their front yard playing cops and robbers, pretending we were vikings, or we would take it slow and play house. Nevertheless both of us were inseparable. She was there for me and I for her.

I started noticing my feelings for her during middle school. My mannerisms around her drastically changed and became a bit awkward at first but she always smiled the same smile and it would reassure me that everything was fine. I just couldn't bring myself to tell her that I loved her.

I saw her at her happiest times where we would share our smiles and laughter. I also saw her in times of sadness and anxiety, offering her a shoulder to cry on and ears that listen to whatever she had to vent out.

Before we went to junior high, I remember her saying goodbye to me before they left for the airport. They were going on a short summer vacation on a certain country in the east. I wasn't sad seeing her leave because I knew she was going to be back but my heart definitely didn't want her to go. I knew she was happy. That alone made me happy for her, too.

I remember her return. I hurried to their house to meet her but before I even got the chance to knock at their door, I saw her. She was shivering, her eyes were red and puffy, a large blanket draped over her shoulders, bruises and scars were visible on her cheeks and arms. What happened?.

She had lost her parents in a tsunami during their vacation, her aunt had to look after her, now. She was never the same ever since. She had grown awfully quiet around other people, but she would always talk to me. Telling me how she regretted that vacation and how everything was her fault. But I always remined her that the whole thing wasn't her fault, that there was a tsunami and that people just couldn't control nature.

We're in college now but she still hadn't changed. She would have nightmares and she'd wake up in the middle of the night and she would call me. I would come running to her front door and she'd cry... and cry... and cry. She would sometimes shiver uncontrollably but I would hold her ever so tightly to let her know she wasn't suffering this alone. That I was here for her.

Over the years, she had been suffering PTSD. I never miss a day where I wouldn't gently persuade her to go and seek medical attention and therapy. This time, she said she'd try. I smiled at her and said she'll never regret it.

She's been seeing her therapist regularly now and she's been sharing about it to me enthusiastically. Like how there are steps that she's taking to fully recover. Her therapist even let her buy a puppy. Perhaps when she's fully recovered will I finally have the guts to tell her about the feelings that I've kept hidden for a long time.

One day she told me about how she is taking the final step to recovery. Our conversation went a bit like this:

"It's going to be hard for me, you know." She said.

"Why?" I asked, a bit puzzled at her words.

"Because we've been together in forever, you've always been there to help me cope with my loss and it's going to be hard for me..." She continued, "Because I'll be saying goodbye to you."

As soon as she said those words, reality hit me like a knife to my aching chest. She was right. In order for her to finally move on, we'll both have to say goodbye. I have been with her for so long I forgot myself, who I was and what I really am.

I was just an imaginary friend.
A mere figment of her imagination...

I laughed but my eyes were shedding tears as I found my body becoming transparent. I was fading away. I looked at her, she was smiling, too, but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes.

Saying goodbye hurt a lot.

I wasn't even ready but as she gently held my hands in hers, I knew she was and I was willing to... For her. Before I completely dissolved to thin air, I finally managed to utter the words I have been longing to tell her.

"I love you."

A single tear fell from her eye as she watched me vanish and she smiles as she looks at her now empty hands...

"Goodbye..."