Black Crow-Chapter 1

in story •  8 years ago  (edited)


Once in a misty harbour i was walking and i saw a yound women sitting on a chair reading a book (ikr how was she reading) i approached her and she look up at me i said " hello miss im a bit lost could you help me out? she said " sorry im waiting for someone he should be here " she looked at her watch which was a rolex " right about now "as soon as she said that there was a split in the air it was like a portal and a man shaed figure crawled out he murmured " whew~ that was close " he looked at me as if reading me and then turned to the women next to me i follwed his eyes and the woman was gone when i looked back at the man his eyes changed color and turned pure red like blood then he did something like a karate chop and the air split again he went in and for some reason my body was following him..

                                          end of chapter 1
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Not trying to be mean or anything like that, but you may want to work on refining your writing. Maybe try to rewrite this using proper grammar?

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