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The Life Cycle of a Beer Buzz

The first beer should be drank as fast as possible because it is a nusance and doesen't taste good yet.
Thoughts are as they have been all day except you are now in the countdown to uephoria and the first beer is the ribbon cutting ceremony.
For some reason kids see a grownup drinking one beer and they already assume you are drunk.Then they act surprized when they discover your not yet...

The second beer you begin to unwind and conversation becomes a little more casual.The anxious feeling tones down and happiness is on the horizon.
This is a time when people are still treating you like your still on your first beer, and it is a little akward, cause you can notice the difference.
Your wife starts to look at you differently as if she is observing an eclipse of Dr Jeckle/Mr Hyde taking place on the couch.

The third beer is the one where things really start to change, for some unknown reason, your wife thinks you are getting drunk and will start to ask you really dumb questions.But she doesent realize you are nowhere near inebriated so you just play along with her odd inquisitions such as "If we split up and my sister blah blah"You get the picture...

The fourth beer is where you really start to feel it kick in and thank GOD after the day you have had.This is happy hour at home. The prime time of the evening occurs right now because you still have enough balance and dexterity to be somewhat normal and carry on lively disscussions of complex subject matter while feeling the sweet fangs of that false euphoria coarse through your veins.The radar sceen goes off and the good times commence...

The fifth beer is the equivelent of being at the mall with $1000 and 20 minutes before the store closes.So the best thing to do is forghet about it and keep on partying.

The sixth beer is last call for alcohol but you do not realize it until the beer store has already closed and the wife has hid the car keys anyway, plus you are out of ciggerettes.So now this deep depression sinks in as you realize that in just two hours you will be completly sober again.On top of that your wife reiterates the same "Sister question" but substitutes one of her friends to see if you are going to give a different answer just because you have drank all the beer.Does she really think the real you will come out and say"If we split up, I am going to be banging BOTH of them!. There! Are you happy now dear? Can I go to sleep now"Then she expects me to become very romantic immediatly after that inquisition...

"Alright kids, time for bed!"

Thus is the lifecycle of a sixpack of beer at home with the wife and kids.