A story like no other

Chapter 3

Hi, it’s me again. Safe and sound . Racem, a guy who used to be broken , injured ,helpless and weak .
Through this chapter you are going to find out how did it all begin , Racem begins and later on as we move towards the journey you go through Racem the awesome rises.
This is a movie for the mind , so stick to you chair and never let go , because what you’re about to witness is some high level shit.

Previously , i was talking about relationships and how i sucked at those things , luckely there is a change not on my love affairs but on how i run things and by the way if you know how to handle life , girls wont be and never will an issue , you ll be just playing some mind games with females , away from the drama and longing.
In a way or another , you’ re gonna open your eyes and have a clear vision over things.
Sooner or later you will grow from a small minnow to a huge whale .
As the matter effect , woman and love is one of the most favorite subjects and frequently discussed at all settings . with friends , among strangers , everywhere…

That’s why in a side of my story i’m gonna focus on that , because women in my life are definitely One Of The Reasons Why .
Khouloud , this one is for you.
She was the first serious relationship i've ever had, at least that’s what i thought .
Lovely experiance .expectations Vs reality ? yeah ! that’s exactly what tricked me.
Giving on hope and great expectations , fooling yourself with these melodramatic day dreams .
We ve all had that , we ve all been through these fantacies .
I've even imagined conversations , events incidents and situations …that never took place in real life , most of them whould have been perfect because , none of us will make his brain imagining things he wont like , that will be nightmare instead , not day dreams .
Speaking of nightmares and fear , that you experiance when you are awake , focused , going through your usual day, but inside you feel insecure and fragile and powerless .
I ve been there ! being vulnerable, fucked by emotions ,invaded by negative thought , not only me but we .we all been there.

Let me start my beloved first crush , let me tell the world what you really are .
You used to sing to me « you ve got a girl that does’nt look a thing like me , the girl your mother always said it would be »
My mother ! who hosted you in her own house with our friends , thought also that you are a girl.cute , short adorable young lady .
But what really makes a difference is your deeds .
As i am writing i am trying to remember , every moment , every second we ve spend together , every glimpse , every tempting you put on me , all i ve told you «seduction , kouki please stop » and went laughing but i wasn't kidding because that was your plan from the early beginnings .
Ispite thats i can’t be with you even if i wanted to, you didn't care .because your egoism was above all , you wanted with your selfishness to prove a point and win your game and ….
Chessmate , bam ! you’re dead and yeah congratulations you ve almost killed me .

And i mean it, not a figure of speech or being dramatic , to make it more interesting for the readers.
Actually my story does’nt need extra drama coz it had enough .no words can describe the pain you ve caused me with your dominating posessive attitude and manipulation , because i literraly slept in an artificial coma , the docters made for my brain to stop thinking for a bit , whole week in the clinic , panicked and terrified , in a wreck …
And for what ? to prove a point ? that you are sexy and no one can resist you ?
You made me ill, i have a mental illness now , MOOD DISORDER and still suffering since the incident and that took place in the establishment , our faculty of lettres.

But guess what ! i’m receiving treatment and doing well .but you, you dear dont have a cure .
Some people are with intractibe cases , forever psycho, no hope for them except the word … « god shall guide you and show you the light away from the darkness of your soul »
While i am writing this …the pen is shivering , as i rememeber , as i hear your voice echoing in my head and recall your sweet actions towards me, who were nothing but a camouflage of who you really are « pretty little liars » , never watched that show however, but you whould have been directing it and like chuck norris you shall be .
Inspite of the fact that i was prefering to be away from touching you as a new settlement i followed a religious thing , a choice not an option. You were there faking the whole thing making that up , and i simply believed that , you loved me .
All the indicators and signs pointed out that you are do loved me , that’s why i chose you .
I have chosen you over my religious directions .

That’s what you wanted is ‘nt it ? you ve got what you want , you girls always do .hypothesis proved .OK ,well done .but…was it worth it ? to crush me ruthlessly like a bug .
Killing me slowly just to prove to your mates and to yourself that you are invincible and always get what you want .
And then when the moment of truth came , and i was brave enough to confess my love to you with all the means of positivity and optimism, that you will be my girl and i was taking you seriously even my mother believed that ,you could have been the one for me …

I told you that i loved you, falled in your trap , the evil web that you kept plotting it since the early beginnings .it is finally here .
Standing next to you , preparing to held your hand firmly and then suddenly my deperations , my dreams , my heart chattered like broken glass each piece a mile away from the other .
You responded with an evil grin on your face , i could never forget that moment when the climat was romantic , sun is shining .suddenly i ve heared the birds screaming and mourning the death of my heart , as you left it to rot and perish .
You said laughing « but you used to hate me bro ! »
Bro ? sriously ? ! i was 100% sure that i was nothing close to a bro to you .
You got away with it , yes you did and nobody noticed my absence in class because i was nothing but a toy in your cold skinny hands .
Even more , you didn't just wanted to turn me down and like a TREMINATOR you were .
Aim and Destroy !
The next day you waited the perfect moment for your big finally , approaching a random guy i hated, and cuddle just before my eyes , not only me .but seems like you really enjoy it.
playing with people’s feelings .

Again, not gonna do anything even if i wanted revenge but i’m not the executor .that is a godly job , not ment for humans to punish.
Looks like you are having a great life being married , have a kid or two by now probably .
I had put you on my black list for quite long time …now you are out ,
You are on one of my writings , you are One Of The Reasons Why.