The Strange Date in my Life

35 years passed unnoticed by me. And, strange as it sounds, but I did not have a long relationship to my thirty-fifth birthday. No, I lived with two women, but it did not last longer than a month. The first time I left, and the second left it. But my friends are all married, most are already with children, some have two or three kids. And one of my good friends decided to take me to an interesting girl.

Somehow the friend asked: "Do you see anyone?", And receiving a negative answer, immediately suggested the candidacy of his wife's friend.

I'm not used to refusing, but I asked only for a photo of the girl.

It turned out to be quite beautiful. From further questions it turned out that she is an economic, practical, loves cleanliness and knows how to cook. I did not expect a trick, so I agreed with her about the date.

In reality, it turned out to be much more beautiful. Either she deliberately spoiled her appearance in the editor, whether not in the light of the day, there were photographs taken, or something else.

We drink coffee, we crunch crispy croissants, we lead a sweet conversation, although this conversation was more like an interrogation from a girl who in 4 months became my wife:

"Tell me, do you have a wife for sure?"

• No (almost choked at the same time).
  "And the children?" Do you have children?
• And there are no children.
  "Would you like to?"
• I would, of course ...
• Tell me, did you divide the property in half when you divorced?
• Would, of course. I would have half the bulbs in the apartment if I had moved.
  Is it because of mercantilism?
  "Well, did not they tell you that I'm a rather greedy person?"
• That is, we pay equally for coffee and croissants?
• No, on the first date, I usually pay myself. But this is only to charm the companion and make her feel obligated. Then I try to pay a taxi for the lady myself. When we leave, you will accidentally find out what's on our way. I again accidentally walk to the apartment. Then an awkward silence. And passionate sex.
  "Where?"
• In terms of?
• Well, passionate sex in the entrance or still go to the apartment?
• Depends on the degree of intoxication.
  "But we're drinking coffee!"
  "And they could drink wine!"

The girl laughs to the waiter: "Please bring us wine! Only strong!"