My story - The father's departure from the family through the eyes of a child

My parents divorced when I was already an adult, aged 18-19, like. But did not live together for 12 years, from time to time he came to live with us for six months, could not stand it, drank and left.

There was no trauma for me, because I knew that my father was, I went to see him for the whole summer (to be more exact, not to him, but to my grandmother and grandfather, he was most of the time insane). When they argued with my mother, I really wanted to see my father, because nobody criticized me, everyone did not care about me and I was left to myself.

I took the following for myself: my mother often reproaches me, because she has lived all her life with an alcoholic because of me, she wanted me to have a father. To which I always answered that it would be better for me not to become a father in 2 years than was but such. Father alcoholic child does not need. Better no father!

Now we do not support the relationship, at 18, when I came to his city for the summer, I did not stop at them, stayed with my sister. I have not been there for 2,5 years, my grandmother and grandfather have died, it's scary to go, it's terrible to see in what condition the house to which my happy childhood passed, I do not want to mess up memory or what ?! He does not know that I got married, that he became a grandfather, and I'm his only daughter ... It's very sad ... After all, when he was, he was still a very good father, and he played with me and never scolded me ... I'm writing, but my tears that they themselves roll, I sit and roar like a fool: '(