Be My Toe Licking Partner Fanny Fanpacker, Please!

[Letter to idol]

Dear Fanny Fanpacker,

I am your number one fan!

The first time I saw you, I felt tantalized. I could not believe a Pank Spanker could be so hairy and treacherous.

Your role in The Second Coming of Pikachu was hot and simply skinny.

I've created a collection of fanny packs to remind me of you. My bedroom dresser is your shrine, lined with lightning bugs.

My ambition is to go to your closet together and engage in some serious toe licking. I'd make you stinging nettle pie then we'd watch cartoons until the sun set.

I'd love it if you could reply to me - tomorrow would be best. Oh, say you'll be my toe licking partner Fanny Fanpacker, please!

With your reply, please enclose some more fanny packs for my ever-growing collection.

Please, please, please reply.
The Invisible Man

Thanks for reading,
The Invisible Man
@theinvisibleman