You went from third person perspective to first person in the last two sentences, but other than that, I was really getting into it.
RE: She was Feeling Naughty as her Red Lips touched the strawberry..........
You are viewing a single comment's thread from:
She was Feeling Naughty as her Red Lips touched the strawberry..........
Thank you. This is my first attempt at writing something, I have always wanted to try it and I thought this was a good place to get feedback.
Downvoting a post can decrease pending rewards and make it less visible. Common reasons:
Submit