RE: She was Feeling Naughty as her Red Lips touched the strawberry..........

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She was Feeling Naughty as her Red Lips touched the strawberry..........

in story •  8 years ago  (edited)

You went from third person perspective to first person in the last two sentences, but other than that, I was really getting into it.

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Thank you. This is my first attempt at writing something, I have always wanted to try it and I thought this was a good place to get feedback.