Caged

“And now what?” she said, a bit fed up with how everything had evolved lately, or not evolved, or revolved. It was after all a circular path. For every round something new came in and something old was shed. She was glad for what was shed, but she wished for some clarity in regards to the new. It all felt way to circular, like she had already done it like this before, several times and not all times had she gone winning out of it. Of course, in some way she had always won, evolving herself and for every shedding she had become a bit lighter, a bit less kept down and held back. All that time carrying that mass, or abscess, weighting her down, preventing her from being fully herself. All for a good reason, but she was more than fed up with it by now. She had done her share of getting rid of it, as she knew it was no longer needed and yet it felt like she wasn’t yet free to be all of herself again, like there were still limitations put on her. This time it felt more like it was an outer cage limiting her, than herself doing it. It was like she wasn’t yet allowed to prosper. She battled fiercely against that cage to get out of it, but to no use.

It all boiled down to one thing; Think less and be more. Be more you, dance more, rejoice more and the rest will fall into place. Easy said, harder done. The whole world had been based on thinking and now she had to let it all flow out, but she had also to think, it wasn’t just flowing, but it was definite that nothing would let itself be forced out. It just wouldn’t work anymore. Maybe that was the cage holding her; The belief of a structure having to be logical, when all she had to do was to trust and do according to her impulses, which weren’t really impulses but nudges for what was right to do in that very moment.

“Clever girl,” she heard, “now you are finally getting it.”

© Yvonne Rosenlund

Photo by David Hofmann on Unsplash