Entry for Storycubes Contest #12: The Insurmountable Michael Strutters!

This is my entry for @goodguygreg's #storycubes contest n° 12 - you can read the rules and -if you feel inspired- join the contest by reading all about it here.

Basically: you can write/paint/photograph/or do anything creatively based on the 9 storydice @goodguygreg rolls randomly every week. I have started writing about the very fictional Michael G. Stutters and I kinda feel like keeping his story going - his backstory is written into the narrative, in case you want to explore his astounding adventures!

These are this week's dices:

and I've used them in this order: 7 - 4 - 2 - 9 - 8 - 5

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My name's Michael Strutters and if you don't believe the tale I'm going to tell you, you might want to read up how, back in the future, I made my fortune, shared the recipe (has anybody tried it actually?), got trolled because of it, got trolled by leprechauns consequently, whose King then turned me back to being 18 years old again and then, while visiting my local shrink, the King sent me on a mission to retrieve their sacred book which was stolen by their arch-nemesis: the Squid-Queen.

So there I was hanging, underwater - a Venetian mask covering my face, a plastic whip in one hand, the other hand clinging on to dear life. I quickly stuffed the whip in my pants and then let go. If I was to face the Squid Queen, why prolong hanging there myself, or leave you guys hanging, right?

The squids dragged me down with amazing speed. Then then strangest thing happened: a turtle swam by, winked at me, and then calmy swam on.

The squids took me inside an underwater cave and sloshed me towards the biggest, fattest, ugliest and smelliest squid I've ever seen. And I've eaten quite a few as hors d'oeuvre, let me tell ya.

With their gooey tentacles they chained me to a bar, hanging from the ceiling - which probably served for their eight-armed workouts. They stripped me of my Venetian superhero-mask, revealing my quite pissed face - as the Squid Queen herself approached.

"Never has a mortal man ventured here," the Queen blurted in Squiddish - which sounded surprisingly like English (but with a few more slushes and blups which I'll leave out for reading purposes), e.g. she continued: "What slush do you blup?"

"Allright Queenie, here's the deal," I said (I tried to tell her a story but in my mind, all I saw were random symbols open for interpretation). "The Leprechaun King sends me. He's charmed you took his book and thinks it an act of love. He's quite shy so he sent me as a messenger. He wants to marry you. He wants you to be his love for ever and ever and make babies with you. As a token, he sends you these flowers." I rummaged around my pants for anything resembling flowers and took out... The whip.

"Your Leprechaun King is quite kinky," the queen said and I think she raised what resembled an eyebrow in the process. "But I have no slush for bloopy Leprechauns. The book doesn't matter to me, you may have it if you are my lover for the night. Do you feel like bluping my slush?"

The grey squids still present in the room all turned to an uneasy reddish hue and I proclaimed: "If you can get me back to the year 2017, with my name, my fame and my family as it was before, I'll slush your blup, or whatever that may be."

What follows is - difficult as it may be to tell - a true account of what transpired in the underwater cave between the Squid Queen and me, Michael Geronimo Strutters. It is also very, very NSFW, and features all the nasty little details. So, if you still feel like to know what exactly happened, down to the nitty-gritty, you can hover your cursor over the X's and all will be revealed to your sick mind.

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I never thought I could have written that, but I swear it's the truth and nothing but the truth. Am I proud of it all? I can't say, but afterwards, the Squid Queen tucked the sacred book of the Leprechauns tightly in my underpants, looked at me with her googlyeyes, and whispered in my ear: "Schlup. Now go back to your time. Of course, you may have altered the timeline a little."

A sudden flash of lightning struck the cave and I saw it was Nikstlitselpmur, the King of the Leprechauns who had arrived - looking bewildered towards us. "I can explain, hunny," I heard the Squid Queen say to him, just before I went off in my own lightning bolt -ZaPPL!- and I found myself back in my house, in the blessed year 2017. I was home again!

The first thing I noticed -after checking the calendar, making coffee and checking my e-mails- was that there was something hard and large stuck in my trousers. I rummaged around and took out a book - it was the sacred book of the Leprechauns! But before I could read the title or browse it's ancient pages, the doorbell rang.

At the door there was a lovely and charming, albeit moist - some would say squiddy - young girl.

"Hi, dad," she said as I stood searching if she sported any tentacles. "Hey, don't look so bewildered, dad. Don't you remember Mom saying you might've altered the timeline a bit?"

Michael Strutters signing off for the week, back in 2017, having gained a a Leprechaun Magic book, as well as a Squid-daughter.

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So how many of you have hovered over the X's?

And, why did the turtle wink?