To the man who raised me as his own and called me his 'first born', the man who was there on my 1st birthday and who changed my nappies until i wore them no longer, to the man who used to fight my mom to see me, the man who promised to walk me down the aisle one day and teach me how to ride my first motorbike, Sean Williams, you now pass me in Checkers and Pnp without so much as a "hello, how are you", you avoid eye-contact and i know you see my mom in me. May your latest 'adopted' family bring you much joy and may you take up permanent residency in their lives and not walk away from them. One day when you are an old and lonely man with nothing but a big empty plot of land and 5 dogs, and Jenna is old enough to make her own choices, she will reach out to me and ill be the big sister she has always wanted me to be - and you wont be able to keep us apart. She will always run to me when we pass in the shop aisles, we will always look for each other wherever we go, she will always yell, "I love you sis" as we part ways, and she will one day ask why you treated me like a total stranger. Everytime i leave the shop after seeing you with all the kids and your big bags of shopping in bulk, i tell myself i wont walk out crying and everytime, i do.
I don't think anyone knows how hard it is to pass by someone you once called dad as if you never knew them.
The truth is that you are the asshole i want a hug from and the asshole i wish would make a change to our relationship, the asshole who was once my father and now isn't even my dad.
Guess i got this far without you, and ill go further.
Your story is saddening but dear don't let anger empower you. He was there when you were so young in my humble opinion you should still care for him when he gets old. Maybe he has a reason why he treats you like a stranger but according to your story he loved you when you were young. Just be patient with the ones you love darling. Have a big heart, don't be heartless like everyone now.
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Thank you for your comment, i appreciate it xx
I never stopped caring but i refuse to run after people who closed the door on me in a time of need - especially those who are meant to protect me - that is where i feel i need to care for myself, nobody does it for me so..... Im here when he one day decides im worthy of being called his daughter again.
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You have a point, when people shut the door there will be a time where you will stop knocking. And someone loves you, God loves you.
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