I didn't know how to put him at this entrance, but I really thought that he was in a hole, in a trench he had formed, a well where he couldn't find a way out.
It was one night in May, I had a really important event at work, but I couldn't stop thinking about things that could go wrong, it wasn't the first time I felt that pressure in my chest, shortness of breath, headache, insomnia, I tried to sleep, it was an hour, two, three, I slept for an hour, I woke up, I slept for another couple of hours and when I least expected it, the sun was rising behind me.
My heart pounded faster, I was nauseous, that wasn't normal, it must have been a disease or something, I called work and warned that I couldn't make it, I missed one more opportunity, I cried, I didn't want to get out of bed or I couldn't get out of bed. I cried more and after hours that seemed eternal I decided it was time to tell someone. I had to call for help.
This was the beginning of my journey, the weekend that followed I went to therapy-diagnosis, to talk about my feelings and the episodes that I had been living for two years. After working for me and the specialist, I was able to understand what was happening to me.
Social anxiety is not treated as it should be, most people think you're just shy, antisocial or antisocial, they don't know the effort it takes to make contact with other people, no matter if it's to greet someone or ask for a favor.
The depression that was constantly giving me also found an explanation and consequently a way to keep it away, I understood that you can't control your emotions, but manage them, that we have the right to feel them, not to think too much.
It has been difficult to be constant, to know my needs and to understand that everything is not as well as I thought, between everything I had to rediscover and self-explore myself again (as we were told in the Personal Development class of the university) to reflect on my attitude towards life and understand that we are not all the same, that everyone has a different personality, so I could not expect others to react and respond to me as I would.
Thank God I was able to get out of the well where I was and even though I know that I am on its shore, I am really committed to continue working on myself and get away from its entrance. Some people tattoo something to help them have strength in the healing process in which they find themselves, I decided to send myself to make a ring of self-commitment with an Australian opal, which I always carry and serve as a reminder to shine like the rainbow we found inside.
No opal is equal to any other, such as the people in this world.
Have you guys been through something similar? Tell me, I love reading them.
Thanks!