My Most Heartbreaking Childhood Trauma

I recently came home to Finland from the US and I'm in the process of trying to reverse my sleeping pattern to fit the timezone, so I need something to ramble on about aimlessly to keep me awake.

So, let's talk about painful childhood traumas.

Here's mine.

Back int he 90s when I was still mini-@schattenjaeger our family got a PC. An actual Windows 95 PC that could run video games. Prior to that we had a Windows 3.1 computer, obviously, and I did play the hell out of Commander Keen - when I managed to get it running, that is. And whatever the fuck that winter Olympics game was. That was awesome.

Anyways.

But my first, true, and long-lasting love as a kid as far as PC gaming went was the genre of the point and click adventure game.

Monkey Island, Day of the Tentacle, Sam and Max, King's Quest, Space Quest, Discworld... I pretty much played them all. Nothing I cherished more than Gabriel Knight by Sierra, however.

I just wrote a 5000-word post about why Gabriel Knight 3's ending still makes me shed manly tears, despite the fact that I've played through it every single year at least once ever since it came out - it's that good - so I won't get into that here.

I'm a Finnish person, so obviously English is not my first language. That was quite problematic when playing point'n'clicks since the genre is all about talking to people, using the information hidden in the dialogues to solve puzzles, etc. to advance in the story.

I don't know what it was that caused me to gravitate towards these games that obviously were highly inaccessible to me as a non-native English speaker. And we're talking a five-year-old here. We got English at school when I was, umm, 10, I think.

But I was obsessed with them.

So, I did what any sensible five-year-old would do: instead of going out and playing with the other kids, I went through endless sessions of frustration in front of my computer, playing through these games with a dictionary.

And Gabriel Knight is not an easy game. It's not just "Pick up key, open door with key", the plot and the stuff that goes with it is actually very mature, and the puzzles can be really challenging and definitely require lateral thinking. Granted, a lot of the point'n'clicks of that era were cartoony, but I think I always liked Gabriel Knight more because it had more of an adult theme going on. No, not that sort of adult theme - although there were sexual innuendos thrown around that flew right over my head as a kid.

The trauma I was talking about?

The fact that I, as a kid who wasn't even studying English at school yet, managed to

A) Finish the game
B) Actually understand the plot

Not only did I finish the game, I did without a walkthrough guide, just by using my head.

I was so proud of myself for having done it. One of my rare legitimately proud moments of my life. I also finished Gabriel Knight 2 and 3, Monkey Island 1, 2, 3, etc. but Gabriel Knight 1 was the first such accomplishment.

And just as I finally felt like I had something to brag about, no one knew what the game was.

I really tried to brag. I tried to have people be proud of me. But no. No. No one understood, not one person. Everybody just assumed that I had finished a silly game that took as much brain skill as Super Mario, or some such.

I'm not gonna lie, it ate at me because I had done something that I, to this day, consider be pretty fucking cool.

I learned so much more English doing that than I ever did at school, ever.

Games nowadays are considered cool-ish, but back in the 90s, you were the biggest damn loser around if you even considered wasting your time playing video games. You were uncool, you were a nerd, you were childish - because God knows the worst thing for a five-year-old to be is childish.

It was out of the question, especially among adults, that games could be educational in any way, shape, or form.

So, I tried to throw it at them that the Gabriel Knight trilogy taught me at least bits and pieces of:

• English
• French
• German
• Italian
• Latin
• Voodoo
• The history of King Ludwig II of Bavaria
• Wagner
• The legend of the Holy Grail and all the wacky stuff surrounding it
• And tons more

Heck, Gabriel Knight 3 made studying religion cool by teaching me about the theory of Jesus' secret bloodline - something school never did, religion classes were an absolute bore.

Like I said, in 2018 it's safe to say that gaming community has won. Games are an accepted part of the mainstream culture, but man was it different back in the day. I would know, I was there - in the trenches! Holding up the fort.

I remember being annoyed at the "Grade A Girls" at school who got constant praise over their ability to memorize stuff for exams, but who lacked the ability to actually apply any of the knowledge to everyday situations.

School was actually kinda like Steemit when you think about it; it was never about genuine "ability" or "talent" or any of that stuff, it was about being good at playing that specific game.

For a pastime like Steemit it's fine, but for a nation-wide education system, maybe not so much.

So, yeah. No wonder I grew up all weird. No one ever appreciated my magnificent talent of puzzle-solving in foreign languages.

I guess that's my real reason for being Steemit: no one respects me, so I'm here for the constant approval by Steemit's lovely bot army that is always there for me, after every post, telling me awesome I am and how thankful they are that I'm taking the time to share my awesomeness with the community.

They're not real people, but hey, I'll take what I can.

I guess in the end I won since I now have more money than any of the teachers - and I would not have done without old adventure games teaching my English. I never learned any of it in school.

But still!

You were expecting a point? A sharp, striking punchline that includes a profound discovery or observation about the universe here at the end that would make plowing through this post worth it?

I love to disappoint.

See ya.