People have a variety of reasons for breaking up. Sometimes it's too busy, sometimes it's time to be alone, and it's cool because of passion. But of all the reasons for breaking up, the most hurting one is because of falling in love with someone else.
In an effort to examine the damage that people were denied because of others, researchers at the University of Connor invited 600 volunteers to do a series of experiments. So the experiments mimicked "split-and-break", for example, an experiment involving a male volunteer and two female volunteers, the researchers privately agreed with the two women what to do. The three of them entered a room, one of the women need to solve a problem, she can choose to solve the problem alone or with another person solution. Each time, this woman will choose to take over with another woman. In that way, the man will feel himself rejected by another person.
This is a very simple experiment, but many people should feel empathy for the man, and if you've ever been dumped by another person, you know the taste.
Why is it because the third party was the most hurt?
The study found that being rejected was hurting. But people feel worst when they are rejected because they love others. Researchers call it " comparative rejection ." Unlike other experiences thrown away, those who experience more exclusive exclusion tend to become more excluded and their sense of belonging declines.
Dr Jacqueline Duke, a psychologist, said: "Being thrown into a deeper and more complicated feeling than being simply broke up and being driven by another person can not help but face the breakdown of the relationship, but also because of betrayal and being Replaced by the fear and the feeling of being abandoned, the feeling of being replaced will make one feel that he is called to play that is to go, bringing the sense of incompleteness, sense of failure and shame.
The study also found that people would feel even more sad if they failed to hear any explanation when rejected. If they can not find the real cause, they naturally assume that they were rejected by a third party. Psychologists say this is a cognitive disorder, and if you continue to "look for evidence," this misconception is reinforced.
Because the third party was thrown when the how to do
If you feel sad in this situation, it is very normal. Due to the involvement of a third person, people often feel that they are not good enough. Dr Duke said people should learn to "go out" instead of telling them "it's my fault, I'm not good enough," and say to myself "the relationship itself was unsuccessful for some reason."
If not, think about what you were talking about before this love affair, and psychologists say "picking up is important for your own positive ideas."
Also, it is important not to visit social media to see the status of your predecessors. Also, give yourself time to cry well and talk to your best friend. In short, remember that is not your fault.