Anthony Bourdain (a reflection)

in suicidesquad •  6 years ago 

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I'd never read anything by Anthony Bourdain, or watched his show. I had only vaguely heard of him as a chef. After he committed suicide though, I felt like he was part of some sick club, that I also had a connection to. And so I had to watch his "Parts Unknown". All 8 seasons.

Does great creativity automatically include a deep and destructive self-loathing? And am I naturally drawn to these people, or is suicide such a problem that everyone is touched by it in one way or another?

Even though he is dead, I am painfully jealous of his life. This is the dream, right? Travel and experience everything that is on the worlds plate. Ultimately, if someone can achieve all that Anthony Bourdain achieved and still commit suicide, what hope do the rest of us have?

"That's the kind of personal accountability id like to see more of really"- he joked about a man who committed suicide when two ends of a tunnel the man built didn't meet. It was kind of horrifying to hear, since I was watching it after Bourdain himself committed suicide.

It’s so strange to feel so connected to a person that I’ve never met. And even stranger to feel connected through his method of death, rather than anything else we might have in common. Ultimately though, I “can’t believe how strange it is to be anything at all”- neutral milk hotel- in the aero plane over the sea



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After Kurt Cobain passed away, I went through a time when I missed him intensely. His music was very much a part of my life during my teenage years. I saw him perform live in concert, almost five months to the day prior to his death.

Composing mine own songs has helped to heal the pain of no longer hearing new Nirvana songs. In some ways, some of my new songs are a continuation of his work; if only because of them being partly inspired by his music.

Not that I am saying you should eat any of the gross things that Anthony Bourdain happily did.

I don’t really understand what you meant by your having said that you “feel connected through his method of death”.

I had a friend commit suicide in 2015 and have been off and on suicidal myself- probably should have been more specific. That’s also the explanation for the tongue in cheek tag “suicidesquad”.

If I was getting paid what AB was, I would totally eat those things on camera.

It’s crazy how the death of a celebrity or a creator can impact us. We don’t know them personally, but we absolutely feel like we do through their work.

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I loved, AB. He had a strength and vulnerability that made him very attractive. It felt like you knew him. Alas it is hard to watch his work now without feeling sad. I hope to move beyond this soon because he offered so much:)

His show felt very down to earth- partially because he didn’t go to super fancy places, and also his presentation was very conversational. I’m currently obsessing over Queen after watching Bohemian Rhapsody and feel the same- everything I watch makes me a little sad.

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