This is the first few months of my job in Maryland, September to December 2017. I took a few relevant snippets from the complete daily journal. I have not added many of my own perceptions of the events. My insight grew as I looked back from later years of obvious acts of disruption. The flagrant and absurdly poor customer service, everything breaking, or the pressure to break the rules, etc are all typical forms of harassment that occur later on in ways that are difficult to explain other than a powerful, persistent, and widespread harassment campaign.
In general, names have been changed. Information may have been removed or added.
The length is about 15 pages for this segment.
While still working at ………….:
Friday, September 1st
Ace told me I would never be the engineer that he is, but I had some skills that would be very useful. [This is not the way he used to talk. Not that he would say that I would be his equal, but he thought I would be amazing at engineering school because I was so diligent. That was a genuine reflection of his, not trying to butter me up. -2/14/20]
[Ace] uninstalled the security software on my computer, telling me that these were so obviously backdoors for malware. That seemed…. Yeah. Then he wants me to print a file from my email, so tells me to log into my email on said computer. I kind of freaked out, and tried to bring it up on my phone instead. He eventually realized what I was doing, called me weird, and told me to get it from his account
…
[Ace] had also told me about the medical tests required, which if they are not taken you can’t keep people on. From what I can tell I don’t have much of a problem with them. But he seems to be pushing at every turn.]
...
I am supposed to be in charge of HR documents, but I don’t really know too much about it. 5 muchachos might be showing up tomorrow, and I have to lead them through the whole deal.
...
I mentioned how we were in the worst possible place if there was going to be a major issue, because we had the world’s largest metropolitan area to one side and an ocean to the other. Ace said we would escape on ………….. (a boat) He said it was also a target rich environment, surrounded by all these high value government entities, and that the …………. Bridge was a strategic target. I thought it was more decorative, but he insisted it was an important artery,
Thursday, September 7th. ...At the clinic we waited for three hours. Ace texted me to make sure I was okay and to get a status update. […………. clinic] basically told me to sign saying they could do whatever they wanted to me and tell whoever they wanted about it. I studied Spanish a little while I waited. The tests were simple and interesting. Weight, height, color, peripheral vision, blood pressure, audiogram, blowing [into a tube to test lungs], blood, physical, and drug tests. I was pretty calm and in charge throughout the whole thing. The respiratory questionnaire had a few points I didn’t fully answer. That doctor was phoning it in. …………. came out a while later. On the drive back we spoke more comfortably in the tiny bit of Spanish I knew about how crazy and stupid it was that it took 8 hours to do that…
Friday, September 8th ... I couldn’t hear them at all through my MagicJack number, which is a piece of crap. ... After that, I asked him about the parking permits. I didn’t feel too confident in what Ace was having me do. It sounds a little sketchy, and I don’t want to do anything illegal, so I thought I’d investigate while he was away. Alex didn’t know. He said Ace had done all that. He called Ace to ask him, even though Ace had already told me pretty clearly that I was to wait till we got a lot of people at once before we initiated the cumbersome practice. I was cringing, wondering what I was going to do. I didn’t think Ace would be too happy. When he asked if this was for my car, I told Alex I wanted to “understand the process,” which is true, as it is part of the HR process I am to guide people through. Alex told me Ace would show me Monday. Right after he hangs up, I get a call. “How about instead of worrying about parking permits you finish the daily report?” ...
Tuesday, September 12th. … Alex told me that we were getting a lot of employees from two particular companies. [His face was in shock as he spoke.] I wondered if they hadn’t just finished a job. He said one of them, …………., was being investigated by the FBI for bribery. They were allegedly paying their inspectors to get away with shoddy work. “So we should be nice to the inspectors but not too nice.” Alex said he had been told if they call, don’t even talk to them. Have nothing to do with them. That is how serious it is. He was thinking of mentioning it in the meeting today….
Alex made small talk with me on the way back to the office, telling me he paces when he is on the phone so Ace makes him go outside. [Perhaps a way to stay away from me. -2/14/20] ...
So Ace emails me and points out I screwed up one of my morning emails. I attached the wrong file. And I tried so hard this morning to not screw up. It seems like every single email I send out is screwed up in some way. Labor hours are missing, or I referenced the wrong day. The same name appears twice on the daily sign in sheet. I gave …………. my two hours I worked on Saturday. The file was not attached. Etc etc etc. And these are not hard tasks. [It may or may not have been my fault. -2/14/20] Javier texted me a gracias for helping him with the clinic. He kept texting, getting more flirtatious, invasive even. Trying to find out where I live. I was trying to look through the papers he returned. I was noticing errors. Many. Then I saw his Permanent Residency card had been expired. I texted this to Ace. He said we would talk in the morning. I was done for the day. I texted Javier La officina no esta abra. He send me kissing emojis. I ...
Wednesday, September 13th, Fortunately, I was so worried about other things, I didn’t really care that I had to deal with Javier alone in the office. ...
We talked about inspectors, and I told him what Alex said about bribery. ………….
Thursday, September 14th, He even mentioned that when we set up a company it would be in my name so it would be woman owned and get the minority benefit. This was after saying he would never go into business with his wife, …………..
...
I got a phone call today asking for donations to breast cancer research. I just gave two dollars to a lady at Giant for something like that. Cash. I didn’t tell anyone. How the heck did they know?
Monday, September 18th, ... Carson said they might tow your vehicle if you didn’t have a hanger. I thought I might get a temporary one, but Ace yelled at me to just use the other one. ...
Monday, September 25th. Upon entering Ace asked me how [my home town] was.
...
After they left Ace decided he wanted to talk Trump and how people hate him and were outright saying some brutal things you don’t usually hear hurled towards the president. [I was talking with my sister using very cutting political language. Ace was acting shocked and trying to appeal to me. It was pretty clear he had heard or at least heard of my conversation. -2/14/20]
...
He joked that I might assassinate president Trump. That was in bad taste. [Why in the world would he think that? This points strongly to him hearing my negative comments with my sister over the weekend. -2/14/20]
September 26th, ... It seems like most of the time I’ve been here I’ve been alone. Are they avoiding me? Did Ace give me these impossible tasks because he needed to start creating reasons to fire me?
...
What was not easy, and turned out to be impossible for me, were the constraints [on a computer software program called AutoCAD]. I spent hours trying things, watching tutorial videos. I just had a slew of pieces hanging in random places that I couldn’t put in a line.
...
Ace came around lunch time, gently showing me how to get dimensions off of drawings, telling me he feels he left me out to swim with these projects. He just assumed I knew how to do these things like he does. [Alex had come briefly to see what I was doing earlier in the yard, but Ace seemed to be aware of my frustration with AutoCAD. I remember him saying "You've beaten me AutoCAD." It was as if he was aware of how things went in the office while I was alone, and was trying to make me feel better. As I recall, his laptop webcam was facing me. -2/14/20]
September 27th, ... He told her what to get though. Hint hint? He has a tool in mind he wants me to ask him about? [When I was with my family a few days ago I was talking with my brother very concerned about what I could get Ace for his [gift], since he has such particular and expensive tastes -2/14/20]
...
He told me about the inspectors and how we are supposed to provide things for them in the contract. Maria had emailed me asking me for some supplies. I wasn’t sure what to say, since I didn’t know if that was bribery [or if it was permitted in the contract]. Ace was telling me about the first project manager Reynold who was messing with Alex in the beginning, telling him he bought the inspectors the wrong things because they were not up to the specifications of the contract. Ace told me Reynold died like two weeks after he took the job. That was kind of… What happened there?
Friday, September 29th, ... [That evening I was in …………. talking to my father.] I said Ace isn’t patient with people’s faults. He doesn’t work through things with people. So it has put me in a position of not being well equipped for what I am doing. And the people in my company don’t know my qualities, so they were looking at me like, “Why are you ruining everything?”
October 2nd, ... This morning Ace didn’t run away. He walked me through the daily report, even taking me outside to look at the equipment to make sure our info was updated, and explained some car terms to me. He pointed out I ordered the wrong type of lanyard and started explaining lanyards to me. He showed me a booklet he printed out from the manufacturer of cable and said reading these things is what puts him ahead of everyone else. [I was just talking to my father about how Ace wasn't patient with faults and work through things. His demeanor changed dramatically to accommodate my concern to my father. -2/14/20]
...
But he chided her again, and when I smiled, he said he liked to go off, only to himself, but would be more diplomatic directly to her. [I was diplomatic at work, and didn't dump my concerns on them like I did at home. Ace would often mirror me to be friendly. -2/14/20]
[ I started Jujitsu during October I believe. Some things that happened: John Schmit was very fearful of me. His son left the class soon after I came on allegedly due to an injury and illness, but they later returned. -2/14/20]
Tuesday, October 10th, ... Drew came in to ask about notes from a monthly meeting. He said he didn’t get the email. I tried to search Ace’s email. My computer was so slow it wouldn’t work. I got some details from him, and he said he wanted to see it before tomorrow. Then he gave me another task. He had to log on to something and wanted me to download a ton of responses into the shared file. The problem was they wouldn’t load. “See what you can do.” Ok. So I search around and there is no sign of the meeting he is talking about. I text Ace. He says there wasn’t any meeting at that time. Hm… The files aren’t loading. I search the internet for answers. There are a few. They don’t work. Apparently Chrome eats PDFs for breakfast. So I’ll need to get Drew to log in to a different browser. I don’t want to disturb him… I find the meeting referenced in some schedule notifications, but no minutes. Randy is the one who sent them. Should I email him? That would take too long. Call? I don’t want to disturb Drew. I decide the best thing for me to do is go knocking on trailer doors to ask the …………. if I can have a copy of the meeting notes. I go to the trailer next to mine. It looks empty, but someone calls from a back room. When I get there it is Carson. I let him know I need the meeting minutes, and he happens to have them on his desk. ...
I got the minutes and triumphantly handed them to Drew. He said he wanted it scanned. Ok. The scanner is no longer connecting to my computer. Hmm… I’ll just… scan it to a usb stick and move it over. Perfect. And I’ll email a copy to Drew. Funny, that’s an awfully short document. Looks like it is actually two pages. So I scan each page individually on both sides and then combine them online.
Wednesday, October 11th, ... After that, everything broke. The printer broke, the toilet ran out of water. I was in a bit of a panic. Ace asked me if I found those d-rings, and I told him no. I hope it wasn’t obvious to him and everyone how stressed I was.
…
A UPS man stopped by, told me he had given me nine packages. “It says ten packages.” “Yeah, ten.” I signed, as I was in the middle of a forklift operation. When I did get to the office, it was nine.
...
[October 11th(I believe it was this evening or the evening of the 12th). I do an online search for Brian Andrews. I had just agreed to meet with Ace socially. Even though there was no “romantic expectation” in that agreement, that flipped a switch in me. There was a finality that I was choosing one and losing the other. It had been hard for me to not contact Brian again, and I very much missed him at that point. I searched online, and then I cried. On October 13th, the next morning, Javier continued his strange habit of asking me if I was okay when he clocked in, but this time it was totally different. His voice was tender, sorrowful, and compassionate. During work, Ace deliberately and delicately brought up the subject of health insurance. He gently asked me if I had any, and said I didn’t have to answer. He talked about when open enrollment was, and what sort of thoughts on it I had, and said his sister would be researching it. This seemed not like Ace to prioritize pushing me to get health insurance. [I had twice talked about health insurance with Ace before. He had recommended I get it from our [previous] company …………., and had asked a follow up question if I would. This was not totally out of character for him, but I got the sense he was not bringing me his own concern. This at the time seemed to be Brian Andrews's first wish he wanted to express to me, as we will see again with the HONYs. Given that I had been crying after doing a search for Brian, it may very well have been that he got the impression there was something here for him, and decided to pursue it. In terms of narcissism, this means that I would be his source of supply. -2/14/20]]
Thursday, October 12th. ... So I go back, and Ace comes in and tells me he tried to call me again and texted me and I didn’t answer, and that is like the third time this has happened. My phone is rather flaky for some reason.
...
Ace mentioned he wanted to hire someone who was smart and knew how to build things, like this guy who used to work for him. At the moment he was using me as an engineering assistant.
Friday, October 13th ...
I created a separate daily report for this and told them I wasn’t putting it on the shared file. Ace told me I was writing it for my soap opera. [I had said a number of things in my journal Ace would have not been happy with in the last few days. He seemed happy with this comment. -2/15/20]
...
He asked about me, I said my life was complicated and there was a lot of conflict. I asked him if he wanted to walk. He did not. I said it helps me to work out the stress if he hadn’t noticed. He said maybe what I need is not what I think I need. Maybe instead of giving in to those feelings, when I’m wired to move quickly, maybe I need to unwind. I didn’t know. [Also, there was some guy sitting on the bench across from us who seemed to be listening...] He wondered what I had been doing between the ages of 20 and 25. I told him raising my niece… so I was her main caregiver. He asked if this was my brother’s child, and where she lives now. [I used to be very low key, and there isn't much of a paper trail of my life. The way Ace asked about it, and about my niece, it was like it could be confirmed with her what I had done during those years. -2/14/20] … He asked me about my personal goals, like where to live? I told him about how I wanted to simplify my living, to make it as adaptable as possible to make it cost as little as possible so I could stop working. He asked if I wanted to stop working. No, but I want to work to build what I want, not to eat. I briefly explained food shelter energy and all these things should be simplified and made lean. I said like a tiny house. … He wondered how long that would take me and what concrete action steps I had. I shook my head like I had none. ...
Wednesday, October the 18th. Our two new guys showed up… They both had confident professional demeanors. They questioned them for some time about their experience.
[They seemed to have a lot of experience. I asked them if they had their own fall protection. Enrique looked worried for a moment. Ace spoke up and smoothed things over.]
...
Ace had texted me something and told me I hadn’t responded. We compared phones. I never got those messages.
Thursday, October 19th. I had another nightmare. It woke me up around 4:30. I don’t usually have nightmares, but now I’ve had two in a row, and it has me wondering what is going on. The last one I was at my parents’ house, and I was looking outside to the back yard, and it was crawling with mice and rats and all kinds of creatures that usually hide underneath. The basement level was fractured, windows broken, doors open. It was like the earth underneath us was being torn apart. I saw my dogs in my dream. Sandy could tell I was sad so she came and laid on me. I looked into Lady’s face and thought to myself how sweet these dogs were, and how I should appreciate them while they are alive. Then I woke up and remembered they were gone. There was a strange sense of foreboding. Last night, we were out on the ……... Bay and someone had fallen in the water. A rescue helicopter was coming and lost control. The pilot fell into the bay, and the helicopter came crashing after him. The blades caught the back of his neck up into his skull and froze for a moment. He hung above the water for a moment, and then they started again and decapitated him. It was very violent and I had to look away. I almost never have nightmares. I wondered what was going on. Was I being affected by studying all of these safety emergencies? Was someone in danger? What was going to happen?
...
I wondered about the problems with the union, and suggested getting legal shield so we could get these questions answered. Ace knew what that was, but forbade me from getting it, saying he was my legal zoom and he knew everything.
…
Alex took it upon himself to help direct me and sort things out. He seemed shocked and frustrated to hear about …………. and Rodrigo and …………. and the union. Rodrigo, by the way, did not bring his documents again. I wondered how we were going to avoid pouring more money into someone who might not be legal. I suggested we send him to the union, since he lives in …………. and can pick up his ID there and we would know that he had it because he wouldn’t be able to get through the union appointment without it. Alex and I pieced together what needed to be done, talked to …………., and sent Rodrigo and Enrique to the union office. He sent me as well to take …………., since he only speaks …………. and shouldn’t be left with Santana alone.
…
Also, Rodrigo and Enrique never showed up. It was 1:30 pm when we left, and I had told them that Santana would be out of the office at 2:30. … [Ace] did seemed shocked and puzzled that the two responsible boys we sent never showed up.
…
The two boys came back and said they had been to the union, but still did not have their documents. This is getting absurd. I ran through the paperwork with them. [I did not sign Rodrigo’s I-9.]
…
Ace told Alex that it was strange how “correct” I had to be considering I was an anarchist. It was like I acted like I liked the government.
Friday, October 20th. …I tried to schedule an appointment for …………., as he was lead hot and had to get that done pronto. The online portal wouldn’t work. I tried to call Jeannie, and she wouldn’t answer. I tried to call Molly, and she said she would forward my info to Jeannie and she had a conference call in ten minutes. So after some time with no response, I looked up their customer service on their website, and was told there was no clinic in ………….. The closest one is in DC. I said that can’t be right. The lady thought it was. I was pretty shocked. How could there be no clinic? I searched the contract and my email for an address. Molly had told me verbally, and I had no record of it. I was getting a bit upset. Had she just cheated me and made a fool out of me to get my company to sign that contract? Where had the money really gone? I tried calling her back repeatedly, but she wouldn’t answer. Her office number didn’t even have an answering machine.
...
Ace comes back, surprised to see me still there. “You really are scared of the little green men going to jump out of the I-9 form and get you if you make a mistake.”
...
Rodrigo and Sergio both allegedly presented valid IDs.
Tuesday, October 24th. ...Marshal didn’t even know who Enrique was, and I was asking him to pay the guy. I apologized, and decided to get on Alex’s case about getting it together. He was running everywhere, and thought maybe I should just fill out the form, like it was no big deal.
…
Ace said things worked better for him, because he goes with the flow. He doesn’t resist so much and always fight things. (Unlike some people. Unlike me.) Alex had asked if I couldn’t just fill out the I-9 form. Ace had explained to me directly but gently that this was one of those things where we had each other’s backs, and if things ever went south between them, he wasn’t going to worry about it. Yes, going against the flow does make things harder on me. But it is not a question of choosing the easy path, and I have long since learned that the flow of the universe is wrong sometimes, and that it is those who can see through the mass delusion and risk themselves are what define nobility. I could see that Ace was irritated too. He told me he hated it when people like Marshal made excuses why they couldn’t get things done.
Wednesday, October 25th. ... But there is something off. When he explained to me today how to fix it, he said, “no one is going to trick you with this.” Who would trick me with this? Why?
Friday, October 27th. ...Enrique came in to ask about the 401k. Crap. I told him I had called but would call our 401k liaison again. I pulled out the note and wrote notes based on what he said. He kind of smiled and told me no rush.
…
Ace comes back and tells me Javier has a bad attitude and isn’t getting along with everyone in the crew. He tells me these local boys who aren’t part of the main group are disposable to him. I don’t look thrilled, but I don’t say anything to him about it. He says he wasn’t able to listen to me, but asks me if I was able to use any Spanish to get my points across, and whether they understood me, and if they were coming back here after going to ………….. These were all things I admitted I hadn’t done very well. He asked me if any of them had started to flirt with me. I asked, from today’s crew? “Anyone from the rigging crew?” I said I wasn’t sure if I should tell him because I didn’t want him to discriminate. He said he just thought it was funny. I showed him my conversation with Javier. He didn’t really read it, but was shocked to see who it was, and just said that was a part of being in a male dominated workplace. Then he left again. ...He said he talked to Alex and Alex didn’t want to work with Javier. And it had nothing to do with me, that was just a random happenstance, so that’s that. What’s that? I looked at Ace as though he were transparent. Is he saying he fired Javier, or is going to? He was kind of laughing at the thought that he fired him because of me. Yeah, maybe that is laughable. But here and there he does seem to poke into who is flirting with me and how interested I am in response. Maybe I should just not tell him anymore. If he fired Javier I think I won’t.
Sunday, October 29th. Ace wants to go have brunch. He wants me to drive to his place and drive together in his car. Hmm…. Alone together? Leave my car? After some thought I decide to go ahead. When I get there it is raining. I see Ace outside in his raincoat. He runs up to my car and gets in. “Are we taking my car?” “Yeah, I didn’t feel like driving today. Plus I love these old Hondas.” [My flash drive with I think my journal was on my keychain at the time.] …
Ace is curious to know what I think about that since we’ve never talked about it. I tell him that the reason why people think public school is important is because of the academics, but homeschoolers outperform them by 30%. That is untrained laymen doing a better job. ...I explain that public schoolers are more… cruel, and shallow. Ace says that this helps to prepare them for the real world which can be cruel. But I think it causes some of the cruelty. I thought the kids got used to being controlled and institutionalized. Like ducklings following the wrong thing around, they get imprinted with the government, and think that this is where security and food comes from. ...Ace gently objected to homeschooling more, pointing out life needs structure and kids should get used to that sort of thing. We got back in my car and headed back. I asked him if he wanted to know about ……….... “Sure.” ………… [I was told the FBI was contacted], and they said if they ever come back in the country they’ll get them. Ace wondered when this was. [He seemed particularly curious, as though it may have relevance. -2/14/20] I had to think. How old was I? A young teenager? ... “Ok so not recently.” “Right.”
Wednesday, November 1st. ... Ace actually called me again today to ask if I’d gotten paid correctly and if I’d gotten reimbursements. It is like he thinks my money is coming his way.
Thursday, November 2nd. ...I also complained about the non response we were getting from our 401k provider. It was like a forget about it.
...
When I mentioned Legal services again, he had an interesting thought. He said if you resorted to that sort of thing, legal protection, you were inclined to bring that trouble on yourself, like bad karma. He suspects people who are obsessed with legalese of being litigious themselves. This is why he doesn’t stay attached to his possessions and doesn’t protect them. If someone steals it, maybe he should have given it away. Easy come, easy go. [In a harassment campaign if you act like the threat of something bothers you, it is taken as instruction to act on it. It seemed to me Ace was trying to influence me so I would not act bothered so I would accumulate money. As I have indicated before, he had a thought that I would go into business with him, and perhaps saw this as seed money. -2/17/20] ...
Tuesday, November 7th. ... Enrique asked me about the progress for the 401k paperwork. Great. I explained that they may be changing their plan soon so they didn’t have an exact recommendation… but I do know we match 3%. I could see it on his face. He was incredulous. “I’m sorry.” “It’s no big deal.” He told me. I couldn’t look at him. I stood there silently, angry with myself. This was not good enough. Enrique and Rodrigo were great workers, and we keep screwing them over.
...but at least I had the next step I could show to Enrique. ... So I put together Enrique’ paperwork again, another set with what information I suggested he fill out or ignore, our evil 401k rep’s phone number, the 3% matching, and the next form he would be filling out if he kept going. [At the time I had no idea I could be doing anything wrong, but looking back, giving financial advice without a license is legally dubious. -2/6/21]
Friday, November 10th. ...The rest of the day I continued to work on Mass Alerts. This involved researching quotes, being told hundreds of dollars a month, researching open source alternatives, trying to implement two different options, getting one [app] to freak out my phone and delete all of my text messages, and not really getting anywhere with the other. ...
[On Facebook, probably on the 14th, I posted a picture of a shirt I really liked. It said, “Need new haters, the old ones are starting to like me.”]
Wednesday, November 15th. ... A delivery man came by, who said he had a sea container to drop off. I didn't know much about this. I vaguely remember them talking about it. It is a large thing, so he needs us to decide where to put it. I text Ace. No response. That is strange. I call him. He doesn't answer. I text Alex. No response. I call. No answer. Now what? I joke with the man that I am going to decide where to put it and they are just going to have to deal with it. He says he can stay longer if needed. He tells me he used to work around here when he was in his early twenties as a supervisor for "Western.." I don't remember the name. ... They worked as defence contractors for the government. I recognized that he must be talking about where [one of the main defence contractors that happened to be next door] is now. He told me he would shoot missiles under the water, and by reading the waves he could tell where the missile was going to go. He said that was a fun job. Then he I think ran a construction business, but then his wife paid a lot of the bills, and then his kids started to move out. He was yammering on quite a bit. I wasn't catching all that much of it. But basically, he was looking for a job for retirement and wasn't married any more, and decided to do truck driving, and they were very impressed with him because he actually gets up in the morning. A lot of people don't do that these days. I said I'd met some truck drivers and there are lots of different kinds. He said his brother or cousin or someone works for [the defence contractor next door]? and has 3 houses, so he guesses he has the better job. "Truck driving is a good job." I tell him. He asks me if I like my job, and I say yes. He says he doesn't think he'd like a job like mine since I get so cooped up. He doesn't want to stay in one place for too long. [The implication may be that I ought to prefer working for the government. This may have been one of many attempts to recruit me. -2/17/20] I get through to Ace and he tells me where to put it, and then Alex calls and I tell him what Ace said and that there is something to sign, and Alex tells me I can sign that, and so I walk out with the man and show him where. I say that container is pretty good. He says he can't even believe they sell that junk. He says they are selling all kinds of them, even with windows cut out, and that the wood cabins are going to go out of business. [Possible discouragement from going into building tiny houses.] He hands me the paper to sign. It says that by signing you agree to the terms on the back. I go to look at the back, and it is crammed. I suggest the man go set the containment down and come back for the paper. It was strange. It says they are selling it to us, but the agreement is for a lease, and it is extremely stringent and confusing. I do some digging online and find out that it can be dangerous to sign your name on behalf of a company, because they can deny that they wanted you to do that on their behalf and you could get stuck with the obligation. So I followed the instructions, and signed with the company name …………. and put my job title there, so it was clear I was signing for the company and gave the paper back. That seemed off. Alex came in, and told me I could scan and email then throw away or recycle the invoices I got. He left. [We save our invoices in every other case.]
...
I get a call from Santos that the clinic says they don't have the tubes to do the test, that we were supposed to send them, and that they cannot do the tests. And he is hungry and tell Alex to buy them lunch. I do some calling. I don't have Lacey's number so I call Molly and let her know. No response. I call back and get the scoop. Molly isn't too happy. The package has not arrived yet. She'll have Lacey call me ...?
Thursday, November 16th. ... Two by Lacey from …………., telling me that they had actually managed to test five of our people, so don't go rescheduling them with someone else. (She better not be lying.)
Friday, November 17th. Last night I went to jujitsu, and there are some tensions between me and someone else.
[It was probably around this time I went to Jujitsu, John Schmit’s son’s promotion, I believe he took a group photo, and also asked me to take a photo of him and his son. By doing this he could have gotten my picture and fingerprints. He seemed terrified of me despite me not being a threat. -2/17/20][ I remember I think it was after this, I heard him talking to someone else close by. He was telling them clearly, evenly, and in a particularly slow and controlled way what his profession was. It was like he was trying to keep me from being suspicious. Several people there were open, if not way way too open, about the defense work they did. I lived close to NSA headquarters. -9/27/20] [I was only so so at jujitsu. I was a beginner and had good and bad days. He seemed afraid just when I told him about my interest in it. He used to give me looks sometimes, like devious grins. It seemed that he had some insider “information” or absurd smear on me that was causing his irrational fear from the beginning, and may be why his son had to suddenly leave the class. He was probably an agent of some kind. It was common for the area, and it would explain his insider “information.” -10/2/20]
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I was trying to listen and read up on laundering lead laced clothing. I couldn't make sense of it. All I could see is that we shouldn't have gotten rid of those old crummy washing machines. [Alex had asked me to get rid of them on Craigslist early on. I didn’t suspect they might have been contaminated with lead that early on. It was less than a month into working we got rid of them. September 29th. -9/27/20]
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but I showed up to [a car repair place]. The man recognized me, and I got the paperwork done requesting a MD inspection. The look in his eyes... Anger, fear, regret. Something was going on with him, and that stirred in my mind
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I was told my car had failed the inspection. He gave me a list of things that needed to be fixed. Everything together looked like it might cost $1600.
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I didn't have my current address on it. This prompted Ace to mention having multiple IDs, even fake ones, would be a good thing to get a hold of if you needed to get out of the country. Ok. I don't know how well that would go. "Too many rules." I said, trying to figure out the endless maze of regulations. Ace told me most people don't follow them, and I was an anarchist and shouldn't let myself be controlled by law enforcement.
Saturday, November 18th. ...I called him, and told him I didn't know when I would be going in to work, as this was to process Tom's documents. Ace said we couldn't hire him since he didn't have his documents. I said he did, he was mailing them. Ace joked that I was being easier on the white boys, and I "made" him sign Rodrigo's paperwork. "I didn't make you, I simply declined to participate and left a vacuum." "To che" He admitted. ...
Monday, November 20th. ...There was some issue with the shipping container. It was delivered while I was here, and I was given this crazy agreement to sign. The driver was off too, so I did some research and made sure to sign on behalf of the company. But the agreement says we cannot move it without the written permission of the people who dropped it off, as that was a lease agreement. Then the …………./Randy comes in and says it is in a bad spot, and we need to move it ASAP. [He required it.] So I call Marshal and ask if it was okay for me to sign it. He doesn't know. I ask if he has paid for it. He says he has the check ready to mail out. So this is potentially in my name. Does that mean I am responsible if other people move it? I tell Ace this, and he mocks me in front of Alex, saying I'm afraid of the little green men coming out of the paperwork. … Alex is the one who ordered it, told me to sign it, told Marshal to pay for it, then moved the thing when my name was on the agreement. ...
Monday, November 27th. ... I mentioned Alex had assigned me with the task of finding a laundry facility for work clothes, and Ace immediately knew a company. I mentioned I couldn't help but wonder if those washing machines and dryers were used on lead clothing. The last job they came from was not a lead job, but who knows? He thought I was thinking about this too deeply. I can imagine what a pain it would be. But what if those things are contaminated? ...
Tuesday, November 28th. ... Atticus comes in, and he wants to know the test results for his people. See, I don't have them. I called Lacey 9 different ways yesterday, and I couldn't get through. She hasn't responded to three emails, a text, multiple calls, a voice message, and I called …………. directly and they just left me on hold forever. Why? I don't know.
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When the clock hit 8, I started calling. Back to voice mail, back to being put on hold forever. I called Molly. She didn't answer, but I left a message saying it was pretty urgent. Ace called to chat about something, but I noticed Molly calling me back, so I let him know I had to go, and Molly totally got things rolling. She said she would call Lacey for me. Then I didn't hear anything, so I called …………. again, and tried to dial for Lacey, but ended up typing in the extension of some random person, who then physically went over to find Lacey. I got transferred. Finally I was talking to her. She said they had been on a skeleton crew over the holiday, but were ready to rock and roll. Ok, fine. I explained my situation. We had a meeting at 10 which included the head of the company, and I didn't have test results. I NEEDED them. She tried to look them up on my computer portal. No, they weren't there, and neither was the capability to make appointments by the way. So she went digging,
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I tried calling Lacey back. I still don't have her extension, so I called that random guy again who was very helpful, but told me Lacey was in a meeting. What? How could she do this to me? 10:00 rolled around, and I did not have the results. At this point I was summing up my entire experience with …………. as abysmal, and thinking I should move on. I texted Atticus to apologize for not having them and phoned in to the meeting. Then I got an email from Lacey. I was opening up the encrypted message service as the meeting began.
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Ace came back briefly to inform me that every piece of equipment he has touched today hasn't worked. His computer, his phone is dying, the forklift this morning, …………. wouldn't start on Monday, two crash trucks and Zoro's truck won’t start, and now the ………….. [There were a number of things that suggested Ace was being harassed. He just listed 8 things that wouldn't work in a short time span. Even for that job site, that is a lot. ...He could be seen as competition for Brian Andrews. I remember Ace saying something like he was okay with a fair competition. I also remember him trying to get me to look down on people who are old. [Andrews is older.] I got the sense these things may be related. -2/17/20]…
Friday, December 1st. [Ace] disputed some of [Paige’s] arguments, like that I was an office person who did not need to be [medically] tested at all. But he said that there were no truly office people here. I was out there on the forklift unloading. …
Wednesday, December 2nd. ...Then I tried to order things on amazon but didn't because it told me that my network was under an attack and that the website was not secure. I'll just not put in Ace's password just yet. The attack subsided later that day.
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I called Lacey, who didn't answer her cell phone or work phone, and hasn't responded to the latest email. I have her a detailed message for the three things I was still waiting on a follow up for. ...
Thursday, December 7th. ...He said I reminded him of 1984, when they would go to their secret room and eat coffee and chocolate, and that I was acting like I was in a communist country. I was missing out on all the joys of life. [His voice was soft and gaze distant, like he was picturing something not presently around him.]
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Again, Lacey didn't answer her cell. She didn't answer her work phone. I called her job again, and had someone go look for her. They said she wasn't at her desk. They asked me to leave a message and she would get back to me. I told them I had already been waiting on her, so if there was someone else there who could help me I would appreciate it. After being on hold again, I am told that Lacey has returned to her desk. When I am transferred, I hear obvious pretend loud breaths. "Let me catch my breath as I had to run back to my desk." She tells me. I tell her there are several things I need to follow up on as I have had no response on any of them, and go through the list. 1. Please send all future invoices to Marshal. This one she seemed to be able to handle. 2. Get me the contact info of the doctor who gave us the referral to a hematologist. I explained my situation, saying that my company needed to know what information the doctor made that judgement on, if it was the OSHA standard, to know if we should pay. And there were other things I needed to communicate with the doctor. She asked for this in an email so she could forward it to someone else for them to do. I told her I had already sent emails. She read a response like a triumph, and when I explained myself again, she just got all overwhelmed and read it again and said she didn't know what she needed to do. She acted like a whimpering blabbering child. I explained that I needed this information to make sure that my people were getting the medical help they needed, and that I would get this info somehow. I had already emailed them, then the clinic, then the clinic didn't respond so I was back to them. If I had to call the lab I would. She seemed to think they would just send me back to them. I told her one thing she could do is to track down the source of the referral to the hematologist. My tone with her was without frustration, but was firm and methodical. The last point was that the whole reason that I have worked with them over all these months and set up ………….. at a new clinic was to do lead testing, and that test was not a part of my procedure package, and so I could not even sign people up for it. And when we sent people there for lead testing, they didn't even do it. They just did ZPP. She seemed to have conflicting information with mine about what was available to me. I pointed out in the proposal I was given there were a number of tests not even on there. She said she would make sure it matched the contract.
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I later get a call back from Lacey. She has the head nurse there to speak with me. I talk with him for a few minutes explaining my situation. He says that the tests are reviewed by a …………. doctor who does things long distance and is not going to be able to review the results in light of anything else like working conditions or the worker's health problems. And of course, the availability of this person is negligible. I related Paige's questions to him, and he said he would try to get an answer to me Monday, because the doctor was gone for the rest of the week. He said that if I had thought that this service was supposed to be for these sorts of consults, they wouldn't have agreed to do business with me because they don't do that. I asked who would be expected to pay, and he said us. The sense I got from him was sort of a 'forget you, not our problem, don't bother us with this stuff,' and Lacey like a naughty child who had just pinned something on the innocent sibling. She seemed pretty pleased with herself. She had gotten the unruly customer off of her back.
Alex came in. He seemed nervous. He asked if I needed anything. Nope. Not really. Ace called me to let me know that Enrique needed a ride back to his house. Ok. He gathered his bags. Ace wondered if we should just wait for Jordan to take him. Alex said not until he gets back with the tools. Ace told me to just go ahead. [Ace may have been trying to distance himself from what was about to happen. -2/14/20] Enrique asked me if he could put his bags in my trunk. I told him to put them in my back seat. "Are you sure?" I nodded. "Are you ready for a long drive?" Enrique asked me. "Yep." …Then there was a strange sound. It kept going. I couldn't tell where it was coming from, but it was so constant I thought it must be my car. I pulled off to the side of the road. "You have a flat tire." Enrique told me. He said if I have a spare in my trunk he could fix it. Do I? "It's a good thing that wasn't dangerous." [We had just gotten on the highway.] I called Ace. He asked me where I was, and then as I was speaking, Tom pulls up in front of me and gestures with a thumbs up and a thumbs down. I do a thumbs up, and he drives off. I start to drive slowly on the flat to get to a gas station. Alex calls me and says he is coming to help. And Tom is coming back to take Enrique home. Ace calls again, and he tells me not to drive on the rim. It could destroy the tire. Even a mile. I stop on the side of the road. He says I need to use a spare. [I turn off the emergency lights, and Enrique tells me urgently that those need to be on, so I flip them back on.] Enrique looks in the trunk of my car, saying normally there is a jack with the tire, but I don't have one. I do have a spare though, and he takes that out. [Enrique glanced around my trunk a bit, and also around my tire. -2/14/20] Tom pulls up. "Girl, you don't have a jack? They're only $50." Then Alex pulls up. The three of them jack my car, take off the nuts, and replace the tire. The old one had a razor blade stuck in it. Enrique took it out with pliers and I put it in my car. I pulled out Enrique' things, and Alex told me to follow him. He said my spare tire was still low on air. When we got to the …………., it turns out that was completely flat. And the rest of my tires were almost flat. I couldn't understand how that could be. He said I would have to keep checking or they would keep going down. He showed me the cap to one. The top was broken off. He said that was going to cause it to leak a lot faster. One was okay. The one from the spare looked like the top had been cut off. And another one was missing a top. I showed that to him. He acted like it wasn't a big deal, but he seemed a bit nervous. I said I didn't understand how they could all be so empty. I had them checked less than a month ago. "By who?" I pointed to the car place next door. He shrugged. "Some people are lazy. People." "Yeah.. People." I said angrily, but caught myself. I told him he handled this well and thanked him. My anger seemed to make him more nervous. And it was strange the way he brushed off the tires not being checked. I know I wrote for that man to check the air, and I asked him afterwards if he had. It is like Alex knows it wasn't done. I drove back to the office. Ace poked his head in momentarily, saying he was really really leaving this time.
[I don’t know the date, but one day I was shopping at the Dollar Tree, and over the loudspeaker, as I recall the voice said “Attention customers, security check all isles. Attention customers, security check all isles.” A black customer looked at me like, ‘what the heck?’ I asked the lady at the cash register about it and she said she didn’t know what that was about and had never heard it used before.]
Monday, December 11th. ... He said he really liked it, but he knew I was going to get sick of hearing it, but those name tags didn't stand a chance in the wind. That was true, I hadn't thought of that. Inside of there is the Spanish SDS that it seems he has done everything to delay since forever. [Placing obstacles in front of my goals seems to be part of the process. There were many many times this accomplishment of mine was delayed, to the point that it makes little sense. -2/17/20] ...
Tuesday, December 12th. ... He said the last three months had been the worst for him in terms of losing things that he had had for a decade. He still hadn't found his mouse. That's the second in six months that he's lost. That is unheard of. And he lost his …………. toboggan that Aden gave him for Christmas. [More evidence of harassment against Ace. -2/17/20]
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Wednesday, December 13th. ...I noted that Alex liked to put in all kinds of things in the report. He said that was because Alex had had it hammered in to him while on the job at …………. that Frank and Drew didn't think he did anything. They constantly came at him with "what are you doing?" His reaction to that was to write minute by minute accounts of his life in order to "justify his existence." Ace said not to focus on all the particulars, but to see yourself through the macro perspective. Funny, that was just what I was thinking about yesterday. [Ace seemed a bit upset, and I got the impression he didn't always like what I wrote in my journal. -2/14/20]
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Alex also made a jab at Ace, saying the reason the papers were getting all wrinkled in the printer was because the paper was already like that. He knew, he just never told us. He looked giddy. Ace laughed and admitted we'd been had. Of course that is nonsense. I loaded dozens of sets of paper, and they were all smooth and crisp going in. I loaded several different kinds of paper, and the same kinds that were crinkled before are not crinkled now, so if he actually did something to the printer he should fess up.
Thursday, December 14th. [Tom] asked me if I was cold. "No, I'm wearing a coat." He wondered if I kept it on all the time, just in case. [In non verbals, he had asked that question like he was trying to catch me, perhaps as if I kept something hidden in that coat. I flinched at that and he took it like a blow when I did. I tried to act normal, but there was a realization in his eyes, and he looked at me sorrowfully.]
Tuesday, December 19th. ...Ace played with his phone. He didn't care. Or he was creating awkward silence to draw me out, which does not work, as it is all awkward to me. Maybe the silence less so. I don't know what his deal is. I asked him if he had looked up Ten Fold Engineering. He had not, and gave the excuse that he has been working and then crashing and hasn't even had the time. I could believe that. He told me how draining it was to work 20 hours straight, even just thinking about work. He said all he thinks about is posts. Then he looked it up, and started asking a few questions about it. What does it do? What is the point? Is the company actually doing anything? I explained what I had read. They were already selling licenses and getting their drawings done in compliance with US building codes. They expected to ship inside the US within the year. They said it was easy to build. It looked like something a fab shop might want to get involved in. It looked fun. He said maybe that was something he could do. I said if it didn't mess with the patents. He then goes into a tirade about this guy who invented this thing about windshield wipers, and Ford stole it, and he spent his whole life litigating and suing, and he won, but it didn't matter, because his life was wasted, his creative energies came to a halt, because someone more powerful than him decided to take the other side of a legal battle. He obviously was not trying to inspire me.
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But as it is, I'm pretty bad at this, and as such am very disposable. And then it is mostly a question of who likes you. This is not a nice situation to be in. I don't get a job to wonder if the voice over the phone was concealing some sort of animosity and that my future is now very uncertain. It is hard to say. I could easily believe they will decide I am not a good fit. It is a hard thing to not be able to trust people. I wish they would not fake their approval of me. If I know where I stand, at least I can know where to go.
Thursday, December 21st. Alex was somber this morning. ...This is when Alex walks in. Something is concerning him. He wishes there were some way to link these reports in with the equipment file. He is thinking something like a spreadsheet would be good, but it needs to have some way to attach a document to it. He complains about the sort of record keeping we have. You can't really do that with the daily report. I cannot help but smile to myself. We look through …………. to find the equipment documentation. Apparently there are some random folders, some of which have pictures. He said he really wanted some way to track vehicle maintenance so we didn't redo or miss things. And if there could be some kind of alert. "Which is why we need smart people like you in the office." I told him I had been working on something like that. "Is that why you were laughing?" I nod. I start to show him what I've put together. I give him a little tour of how airtable works and how to link and sort, and the data I've compiled on the equipment. He is very interested in this. He tells me in the office they have pictures of all the equipment up on the board, and filing cabinets with the paper documents. That is about as advanced as it gets for them. He also wanted to keep track of vehicle registrations. I was taking notes. He asked if other people could join, and I showed him how they could comment on records and tag each other. He wanted to know if it could work with Wunderlist, which is a way to assign tasks to groups. Yep. He told me about how a whole group can simultaneously edit a document on google hangouts. He had some useful ideas. He even asked if my shadow board was ready to go, having seen me working on it. Yep. He'd take that too. Boy. All I have to do is silently flip out and people are all nice to me. [The request Alex made was basically exactly what I had been doing with airtable.]
Thursday, December 21st. [??] ...Then Ace prints off my roommate Vanessa's resume. Of course Vanessa put our address down … He is beside himself. [The name of my street was comically opposed to my personality.] He starts to point to mock me, but doesn't know if he wants to. He is really shocked. "I'm surprised you didn't already know that." But he didn't. I would think being the meddling sort that he is he would have done that. [If he had hacked my phone or laptop he would have known where I lived. As was shown previously he often reacted to conversations I had at home, as though he had been listening or was told about them. If he did know of those conversations and he did not hack my phone, he was apparently working with someone who was able to listen to multiple of my private conversations. -10/2/20]
Friday, December 22nd. ...Paige let me know I was sending my DARs [Daily Activity Report email] out multiple times. For my first DAR that day, I didn't remember to shrink the file size. But I had the same issue with other large attachments I sent. That I think is new for me. ...