Redacted Journal Part 6 - Leaving My Job

in surveillance •  4 years ago 

This covers the rest of my job in Maryland. In general, names have been changed or redacted. Information may have been removed or added. Length is around 13 pages.


Friday, February 16th. ... Reid came in and asked me how I was. "Good." "Good?" He seemed surprised [and shaken]. I asked him if he still had the resumes. He got them for me. It was another thing I had been thinking about after I had left. There were applications with social security numbers on them. I had redacted them in the version on ………….. I swapped them out for him. I told him I had been talking to Paige and some information was supposed to be kept confidential. It was her understanding that everything on the job site could be shared with Ace, myself, and Alex, but he was not to be included in some things, such as payroll. I said it would be messy trying to include him on everything, but I asked that he understand it is the expectation of the company that ………….’s pay be kept confidential. He seemed eager enough to respect that. He brought his laptop into my office. He was printing things off, asking me for the three hole punch. Honestly, I was still upset with him. He was deliberately trying to get me to slip up yesterday and tell him things I shouldn't. I met many of his playful comments with silence. I'd rather not have spoken to him at all. He hung around, lingering over my shoulder. I had to keep thinking through what messages I was sending, what I was bringing up on the screen, how far I stepped away from the safe when it was open. But he hung around like he was desperately trying to read where I was with him. I'm sure he could tell I was angry with him. He asked me for some pins. I asked how many. He thought fourteen. I went to Alex's office to get them. "Ah, that's where they are. Now I'm starting to get to know the office. Soon I won’t have to ask you anymore--" I walked off ignoring him.

Reid asked for the three hole punch again, and then asked for my permission to have access to that drawer, so he could get it himself in the future. "Yes." I said flatly. "Thank you for the access."

Reid was called into Frank’s office, and told he had been here long enough and knew what was going on. He was to go to the white board and demonstrate. One of the first questions Frank asked him ironically was about the pay rates of the employees doing post replacement. He asked about fringe, and I stepped in for a second to tell Frank what I knew. Reid from what I heard gave a thorough description of the work process and progress. It didn't sound like Frank had too much to complain about. When he was done he and I were back in the office. Frank and the others went out for a few minutes, and Ace came in. "Ace, buddy." Reid called out to him. [Sounding desperate for support.]

Reid told Ace yesterday he had tears coming out of my eyes when he was joking about using Ace's chair with all of the levers as an intelligence test.

Reid came right back in, a pep in his step. He asked what the wifi password was again and I gave it to him. His skidmore had arrived. He came back into my office. I was having a hard time just dealing with doing my job, and I certainly didn't want to deal with him. He sat in Ace's office chair. I managed a scowl at him. He was holding his phone, looking at me with this gleam in his eye, [his hands in front, fingertips touching, his chin down, looking up at me with a devious grin] then left singing, "I'm so excited."

This is a problem. I do a job to make money. If people are putting me at risk with my coworkers, let alone legal risk, it is no longer worth it to stay at that job. Legal risk entails losing said money, as well as job continuity, relationships, freedom, safety, health, pretty much anything. Reid doesn't seem to care. He is rubbing it in my face that he can get in my space and ask for my participation. What good is that? If he means to create a harassing environment, besides his temporal sadistic satisfaction, what good outcome is going to come from this? I wonder if he doesn't know what to make of me, or how to work with me. He has just shown himself to be reckless with my life. He needs to give me space until he can demonstrate that he is aware, by some miracle, of the error of his ways and that he has become more dependable. Of course, this world is a rather ruthless place and I have no reason to expect that of him.

Monday, February 19th….I spoke to Reid here and there. He kept coming into my room again, and I would have to turn over papers with social security numbers on them. I closed the door, but he just burst through it to ask me more questions. There wasn't really anyone in charge, and lots of people drifting in and out. Reid asked me if I had anything for them, because today would be the day to do it. Esteban was in the room, and I told him he and Pedro had to do training, but who knows where Pedro was. Reid took it upon himself to go find him and get them going. I was about to step out the door again when there was a grinning Reid in my face about to open it. I asked him nicely to please knock when he sees the door closed. He agreed to this, and the hectic disruptions stopped. He wouldn't even open the door when I called. I had to open it myself. I found this very nice. As they were busy in the other room doing training, I kept my door closed much of the day.

Tuesday, February 20th. ... Ace sat in our office and handed me an application. Javier had brought him. "He's here. What do you want to do about this situation?" "We can do two things. Either we just keep going, and let it escalate, and I keep records, until it gets to a point where we have to do something that isn't good for me, or Javier, or the company. Or he can not deal with me anymore." Ace asked me if he had my permission to speak to Javier about his behavior with me. I told him in my opinion Javier's behavior was inappropriate. Ace asked me if he should be fired. I said I wasn't advocating that. He wondered if they should do a verbal warning. I said he could be talked to first without anything going in his record, but that Ace should keep records so that he could show he was doing everything he could and wasn't liable. Ace recommended Javier and I not be alone together, and I thought that was a wise precaution. He said this was sort of my job, as an HR assistant. I said I hadn't told Paige, and wondered if I should recuse myself. Ace said that wouldn't be necessary. I was being objective enough. "Maybe too objective." He said Zoro would have to be brought in on it, since he would have to translate. He asked me if he could speak with Javier, and I told him I was okay with that. Reid asked me cautiously how I was, and told me he had bought me a box of Swiss Miss to replace the two packs that I gave him. I told him he didn't need to do that.

Zoro came in, and Ace talked to him about what was going on between Javier and I. He asked Zoro to speak to him. I was already blue, and I wasn't sure if I liked this. After Zoro left, I asked Ace how Zoro did the last time he spoke to Javier. This topic can go a lot of ways, and it is important to try to give an appropriate response. In the past, guys have retaliated or pre-emptively attacked just in case I don't want to put up with any crap. And Zoro was told no details about what was actually done. Ace was very confident in Zoro's abilities as a leader. I have never seen reason to believe otherwise, but since it is my decision and is about me, I would like to know this is going to be done properly. At least I have a better idea of how Ace addresses misbehaviour.

Reid came to my office for a moment, and knocked on the open door, just to appease me….

Wednesday, February 21st. ... I got an email from Melissa asking if my …………. sticker application project had gone well. She must have heard …………. didn't have one. It's good of her to check. I told her as far as I knew, but that I didn't have a list to compare the results to. She sent me this, and I went outside in the beautiful day to look through documents in vehicles. It seemed like a mess to me. The first truck, …………. had an expired inspection and a document for …………. in it. I went through each vehicle I had access to, and the end result was that I had failed to put on two inspection stickers, …………. needed an inspection, two vehicles have yet to be accounted for, and the process is still too chaotic. I wasn't happy with myself for missing those stickers.

Thursday, February 22st. I got there a little early. No lane closure today. When I got there, there was a box of Swiss Miss on my desk. Reid came to my office, and told me, holding up his arm in front of him, that when I was ready he had two questions for me. [If I remember this correctly, the way he put his arms up was impulsive, like he was physically protecting himself from me and was afraid of me.]

Friday, February 23rd. … Alex was speaking with someone in his office about someone named Darius? He said he found this person crying on the job site. He asked him what was going on and Darius said he needed to talk to him. He said his wife? was poisoning him with cyanide. She was having an affair, and they were putting things in his food and everything. Alex said that is way too much for him to handle. He told Darius he needed to go home and sort all of that out, and Darius left and never came back. [It sounds like gaslighting where my situation is compared with someone who sounds crazy, but the message seemed more like any complaints I would have against harassment would not be welcomed if I voiced them, and I may lose my job. -2/19/20]

…………., who had canceled his interviews, showed up unexpectedly. I told him the project superintendent had just left and the forman was across the bay. He and Alex chatted for a minute while I called Reid and asked if he could swing back over for an interview. A few minutes later Reid arrived and asked me if I had given …………. an application to fill out. I had neglected to do so. Reid seemed to improve his interviewing technique since the last time. …………., when he spoke with Alex and I, seemed a decent and steady guy, but when he spoke with Reid he was nervous and unsure. He gave brief, even one word responses to questions about his work experience, seeming unsure of what to say. He seemed to want the job well enough. He thought being a manager might be somewhere in his future, although not necessarily at this job. After the interview, Reid came into my office and told me that he thought …………. would make a "formidable" employee, and that we could depend on him for leadership roles. "Thank you for calling me." I think that comment had less to do with …………. and more to do with me. Reid left again, and I got my medical done. The whole ordeal took an hour plus driving time.

Monday, February 26th. ...Ace was picking over something I had done, and I heard Reid behind me tell him not to trash me. [This was shortly after I had praised Zoro for coming to my defense for speaking to Javier about me. The way Reid stood up for me was very awkward and halting, like it was the sort of thing he thought he should say, not that he felt he should say. -2/19/20]

Reid brought his work into my office so he wouldn't have to listen to training. He asked to enter my office bubble to access the copier, saying he knew there was all manner of confidentiality going on over here. He said he was happy I was doing the paperwork, and that at his last job, he would get 30-70 emails a day. Now he gets maybe two. He asked me if I ever felt like I could never get the sleep out of my eyes, because that is how he felt today. Ace called me to go over a few things, and asked where Reid was, and why he wasn't answering his phone. I repeated Reid's comment that he was ready to talk now. "Don't get Sharon in the middle of our fight." Reid said to himself speaking of him and Ace. [Reid is mirroring the thing I was upset with before, namely that Reid was intruding in a fight between Ace and I. Echoing a person's feelings is a tactic used by narcissists to create the conditions for friendship and gain trust. I had written those feelings in my journal and not told them to anyone. -2/19/20]

No one had given me anything for Friday. Reid apologized for his oversight. …………. called back to ask if he had gotten the job. I told him he did not. He seemed genuinely shocked and upset, and asked when there might be an opening for him. I said I didn't see one coming. He asked why he was being refused. I told him that I would send him something. Reid said [something like, “Look who's angry…” like he was gleeful he had caught someone showing anger. I shot back with, “He’s upset.”][That seemed very strange to me. Why would he be happy he got someone he isn't hiring angry? This appears to be totally normal in the culture of a harassment campaign. -2/19/20] … He was going to go home and try to get some sleep, and he can get Sunny by if he does not.

Wednesday, February 28th.

[Ace] was ready for a break. He asked me after I kept saying during the winter that there was nothing to do how I felt now. "I'm ready for a break." He burst out laughing. [There had been a lot of talk recently about how tired everyone was. The way he laughed it was like he had tricked me. One thing that is common is to continuously bring up a topic like being tired to normalize a person to it and get them to think that way and become tired. -2/19/20]

Thursday, March 1st. ...Reid came in, and was thrilled to see [the new employee] studying. … Reid had said if he failed it again, he was going to watch the video with him. I graded it right then, and found out he did fail it again. I wondered if Reid really was going to do that. I started to look over what he got wrong, and explained two of them to him, but Reid came back and said he would have to watch the video again. He got a test for himself as well, and they sat down together in the conference room. [I had recently expressed dissatisfaction with an attempt to pencil whip employees through a test. Reid was once again reflecting characteristics I had recently approved of. -2/19/20]

Jake found it hard to watch the video and read the test at the same time. "The nice thing about the video, is you have a remote, so we can pause and rewind." Umm... When it got to a point Reid wanted to pause, the remote wasn't working so well. "This is getting frustrating. Is everything we have around here broken?" Oh crap. He tried to mess with the TV controls, but got the blue screen of death, and didn't know how to get it out. He asked me, and I explained how we pick up the TV and throw it to the floor. I messed with the controls for a while. I couldn't find an option in the menu. The probably after like 7 minutes of me not figuring it out, Reid pulls the TV aside, presses a few buttons, and gets it. [More technical glitches. Things were constantly breaking on the jobsite as well, not just in my office. -2/19/20]

When I came back, Reid was telling them over the course of our contract, two maybe three people would jump off the bridge and kill themselves. [The next morning he seemed ashamed and deeply apologetic towards me. I don’t think Andrews wanted me to kill myself.]

Friday, March 2nd…. Reid went to make some coffee. "This may be the last cup I ever drink." I got a call back from Maria, anxiety in her voice. She wanted to know which people would be going out by boat, "in case anything were to happen, the rescuers need to know which bodies to look for." She seemed serious, and she would know more than us the severity of the situation. I made a few revisions and spoke to Alex. We were getting three guys from …………. coming down. I had a list of …………., …………., and ………….. I asked Alex if these were the three, and he said they were. For one guy, I didn't have his phone number. I remembered they wrote those on the temporary parking pass sheet and went to check. Two ………….. I managed to match one of the …………. to one of the numbers, and asked Alex to verify the other. I was waiting for an answer when I realized the obvious thing to do was to just call it. It was out of service. Reid came in and asked about my list. I read through it, and he said that sounded right. The …………. boys showed up, and I went out to physically meet these people and verify their information. Turns out, they were none of the three on my list.

...

The power kept going out, which meant I had to turn my computer back on, and restart it to be able to send Maria a finalized version of the sign in sheet. When I came back to give the sign in sheet to Reid, I couldn't see anyone at the dock. Then Alex came and called them up. "Sunny needs to come back and get me. Randy and …………. are pissed." He said. Apparently he goes to get something for ten minutes, and they all left without him. I followed him as he paced, listening in. So, the guy who I would guess is in charge of the job site in the middle of an operation of questionable safety wasn't even informed that everyone left without him. And obviously my sign in sheet was wrong again. I called Reid. No response. I called Zoro. No response. I texted Zoro asking him to confirm the list, since he is usually very good with this. No response. I texted Reid, then I texted Alex, and got a list. Then I got that same text verbatim from Reid, including spelling Atticus like Atticus0. The difference was that in Alex's text, he added "and Reid" to the list, and then the "me" referred to him. Reid told me ten people were on the list, but in Alex's list there were 11 including Alex. I asked him if he was on the boat and he said no. Ok. Now I have something. Normally, people don't respond to me, and it's really okay, because what I do is less important than what they do, but in this case, this wasn't good enough. I asked Reid and Zoro to keep me updated. I figured if I kept getting information from two independent sources, maybe I could check the one against the other in case there were any mistakes. Or someone didn't bother to respond. Reid gave me a heads up that everyone except for the …………. guys were headed back.

...

I heard Reid saying yesterday that he got two hours of sleep and woke up in someone else's bed. [A new employee] only got two hours the night before last. And then there was [another new employee] who a few days ago wasn't faring too well after doing a night shift after a full day’s work.

Monday, March 5th. … He asked me if I did anything exciting over the weekend. He asked me if I went to DC and got crazy. He also said he didn't want to be looking through my stuff, so he let me fetch the …………. for him. Reid also told me that …………. had not been correctly paid last week. He was missing his hours on his trip to ………….. Reid knew he went on that trip, and what day and for how long.

...

I spoke to …………. and Reid about his hours. Reid saw my phone with the tape over the camera and asked if I was afraid of spies. I asked Paige when she was going to send the …………. statement. Turns out she already had, but someone else said they hadn't gotten it too, so she sent it again. And then I spent a few more hours fighting through disparate receipts. Reid, Greg, and Randy came back. [I acted like Reid hit a nerve when he asked about spies. I also acted nervous afterwards. This may have been when I searched the bathroom for cameras. I had been suspicious of Randy. There was a moment before I left for the day that I seemed to reflect on something and freak out at the thought. That was in view of Ace's web cam I believe. [I was alone.] The next time I saw Reid, he continued to be polite, but he was containing a raging excitement. One of the first ways I was harassed after leaving [the company] was my food somehow went bad and I got an upset stomach. This is an example of plausible deniability, because I had eaten food that may have gone bad before, so I could credibly be blamed for my sickness this time as well. The landlady had stopped me before I went to the bathroom, rushed in first, and then after a few minutes called that I could come in. -2/20/20]

Wednesday, March 7th. Reid was in his office when I got there. It is snowing today. Mucky really. Enrique was there as well. Reid was in and out of my office copying and printing things. "What's new in the world of Sharon?" I smiled at him, but didn't tell him. He laughed. He went outside for a moment and started coughing badly. When he came back, he said he felt like he had been run over by a truck. I heard he has the flu again, this time not as bad as the last. Derrin and Jake are both home sick with it as well. I got him a vitamin pack. "Do I put this on the desk and snort it?" He asked. We had no water. We also have no cups. We had a good 20-30 or so a few days ago, but they disappeared. Reid was sick, and was asking about the water, so I went to the connex box to grab some bottled water, but that is basically gone as well. Also, the water in the tank outside is empty.

At one point I heard a crash, and Greg asked Reid if everything was broken around here. "You should know that by now. If it catches on fire immediately after starting, you know you're working on the ………….."

...

[an inspector] came in to ask us to hook up their printer. He laughed, saying he understood my weirdness about it as it was always something they used to do for themselves, but Ace would always bring a thumb drive and do it. [Implications of encouraging bribery. -2/20/10] ...

Thursday, March 8th. Tom and Greg were at their laptops in the conference room. "What's going on today?" "Just staying positive. If you stay positive, good things come your way." Tom tells me. [I gel well with Tom.]

...

I hung up and asked Reid if he had anything for the daily report yesterday. "I just sent it." He yelled. I had just checked that. Turns out he sent it five minutes before Ace called. …………. brings me his DOT card to laminate. I never got around to it last time. I went straight to it, getting the laminator from Reid's desk. It went in, but it didn't come out, and then it started smoking. Reid came in at that moment and used his knife to get a piece to grab from the other end. I managed to get out the crumpled DOT card, and the rest of the laminate sheet was a solid/gooey mess. Reid started to joke and I walked out of the room, trying to straighten and salvage the card. I couldn't get a good copy of it now. I had a full sized one in ………….'s DOT folder, but when I scaled it down it was fuzzy, and when I tried to laminate that, the laminator started smoking again. ...

Friday, March 9th. ... Derrin came in with doughnuts. Two boxes, and two pints of orange juice. Ace was happy to see Derrin.

...

"Where did these come from?" I asked. "Derrin brought them." Is all Ace would tell me. [Derrin brought doughnuts. I later learned Reid had authorized it. Reid had seen me bring my own a while before and noted I had a bit of a sweet tooth. -2/20/20][Ace seemed a little evasive and nervous about the question. -10/13/20]

...

I also got ………….'s plastic cups in, but after reviewing the contract, I could find nothing in it that suggested we should provide the inspectors with cups. I pointed this out to Ace. "It says computers, software, printers, and camera. It says nothing about cups or paper towels." Ace didn't think those little things were a big deal. I wondered if it wasn't bribery to give the inspectors things. Ace wondered if a judge would seriously rule that giving them plastic cups constituted bribery. I said that is assuming that people are reasonable. Which they aren't necessarily. [At some point shortly after this, Reid came in and asked me if we fill out any kind of paperwork when we give things or do things for the inspectors.]

Reid came in all happy. "Sharon, we have a skid of water!" [Like, reeeally happy. Like he was trying to be super positive.][I had just reacted well to Tom telling me to be positive. Reid's over the top behavior seemed put on. Given that it was the next day, this seems to be another case of mirroring, or parroting back to me my likes so as to fabricate trust. -2/19/20]

Saturday, March 10th. Ace texted me after 9pm on Friday letting me know Saturday would be a good night to work.

I heard …………. apologizing to Reid, saying the painkillers and sleeping pills were a bad mix and that is why he had to go home early. "Painkillers and sleep medication would make you feel out there." Reid didn't seem too upset or concerned.

...

Ace asked me to ride with Reid. He would be driving the forklift. We stopped at the exit through the black fence, and Reid had said he had never gone this way before………….. I said I had never gone that way before. Reid asked me several personal questions. I asked him if he liked his job and he did, except the crazy schedule, although that is one thing that made it interesting. He asked me if I liked mine. I said it was getting better compared to the beginning. He asked me how long I have worked with ………….. I think it is 6 months now. He asked me if I do Facebook. I said I do some things. He said in 2004 he vowed he was never going to do Facebook, …

He said the first time he came up, he was nervous when he passed the police officer because he was driving the wrong way. Reid thought it was so cool that we were driving a forklift on to the …………. to work. We were driving Ace's truck, but the windshield was getting foggy. I asked if he used the Rainex for fog, but then noted it was Ace's truck anyway. I love that stuff. [I kept some in my car. My instinct was to reach for it. This was one example of me not being mentally clear that evening. -2/20/20] Reid said he didn't know what Ace used on his windshield. He asked me to grab his laptop because he didn't remember the exact location they were going to. I searched around in the back and pulled it out. There was a paper stuck in there with the post number. He told me it was the same password. I typed in Ace's. He said of course I would remember, it is the one I gave him, [He told me it again.]

I typed this in probably a good ten times, with and without caps lock, and it didn't work. I was never able to unlock it. "Thanks Sharon." Reid said as we arrived. Thanks for what? [I basically never have that kind of trouble putting in passwords. That night was a change of shift and scene in an otherwise highly static life, but I was feeling rather vague and alarmed. For example what I was thinking about the Rainex, and then ask myself why I would say something that stupid? My condition stood out to me as being foggier. -2/20/20] And here we were. After being stuck in a box for six months, I was in a real world with three dimensional objects that were moving around. It was like work or something. There were snoopers on either side of the bridge, bright work lights punctuating the spaces, workers in safety vests grabbing tools. Enrique and Jake said hi again. I could see Ace approaching in the distance. He welcomed me to the jobsite,

As I was standing around in the commotion, Ace called me to step back, and told me to stay alert, or at least look like it, as he motioned for a vehicle to back up.

...

Ace discovered he needed paint, and asked me if I knew where it was in the office. I remembered the one gallon jug in the conference room, and he asked me to take his truck and get it. "Are you able to get back here from what you've seen?" I wasn't paying enough attention. I wasn't totally sure, but I realized I didn't have my driver's license with me. Ace thought it would be okay, but left it up to me. I said I didn't think I should. Ace asked Randy to go get it, and since I had a key with me sent me along.

I grabbed the paint and my license and we headed back, only for Ace to say that is the wrong paint. He left to get it, and brought back a bigger gray bucket with a red hazard label on it. He said it had been buried in Alex's office forever, and gave it to …………. to mix.

Reid was complaining that the mag drill was wanting to pick up, and the magnetic force that was holding it on to the post wasn't strong enough. He wondered if we could put more ferrous material underneath to give it more hold. Ace thought the galvanized layer on top would cancel that effect. I asked Ace if just putting another magnet on the other side would work. He thought that was a good idea. I asked Reid what would happen if someone made a mistake drilling. "You don't. That would scrap a post. Everyone has to have a 100% success rate. It is not like traffic managing." I watched him as he marked the next post. [Lol, Reid got a 90% on his test like me.][Reid acted like he had been emotionally burned when I suggested magnets. He was an engineer with experience and was not drugged, and yet I offered a better idea than his despite my inexperience and how I felt. He also made his comment about not needing a perfect score on the traffic manager test with constrained anger, as though him not getting 100 was a problem. This suggested he had a fair amount of ego, and irrational expectations of superiority. This fits the trend of narcissism. -2/20/20]

I asked how far Atticus and his guys were. Ace asked me to drive his truck over there and see. [Ace had asked me multiple times to drive his truck. Every time he did, he would flinch. Ace told me once he had a history with a drunk driving accident.] He told me 15mph around people and 35mph elsewhere. I honestly wasn't too sure about this. I am totally new to this worksite. I don't know the layout or the rules. I drove carefully, and came to cars parked on both sides of the bridge with flashing lights. I wondered if they meant to block the bridge, and went out to meet the people and talk to them. I met one guy, and asked if he was with the ………….. I was trying to read anything off of their vehicles. He didn't seem to expect me to be there, but admitted he was an inspector with the ………….. I told him I was with …………., and this was my first time up here. He still seemed unsure, and asked if it was a cold night. I said it was fine, and then he just left down some contraption on the bridge. I figured it was okay for me to keep going. There were a lot of other people on the bridge. I kept having to drive around them, and other passing cars. There were signs on the gantries that would tell me to stay in one lane, or green arrows, but sometimes they would be blocked. Ace called me and I stopped to pick up. Ace told me to come back, they needed something in the truck. When I got back, Reid came up and went straight for a tool in between the seats. I went to see Ace, who was on the forklift helping with the other snooper. He told me he got a call from ………….. I must have weirded someone out, because they called …………. and said someone was wondering on the bridge. Ace told him it was cool. Gee thanks. He asked me if I made it to Atticus. I had not. He asked me if I was ready to go. I was. [I was not happy, because it made me look like I wasn’t with it.] He told me to drive his truck over here and he would take me back, and waited till he could extract the post he was working on.

...

We talked about [some employees]. We liked them, but Ace told me about how [one] had to be taken home Thursday he was so out of it, and didn't show up Friday, but called an hour in to say he had taken sleeping pills and had slept through. He wasn't happy with [another, who he had told me "isn't really with it"]. He asked me if I had any plans this weekend, and I didn't have much to report. He thinks he will bring up his boat …………. with Sunny and Greg. He thinks I should come more often Saturday nights to get everyone started. He told me Derrin had been pulled over and told his license was suspended. Apparently some nonsense with him not paying child support. The cop let him go because this was the first notice he had gotten. But this is a problem, given that driving equipment is a big part of his job. Ace said we'd see how things go in a month, whether it was going to work out.

I grabbed another doughnut. I think this is the fourth one I've had. Maybe a little greedy. I hope Reid knows he can't use the company credit card for that. [I had eaten three doughnuts on Friday. Derrin brought them in and I heard they were from Reid. I had asked Ace where they were from, and he seemed a little defensive in his answer.]

[I believe it was after March 10th. Samantha and Kelly tried to deliberately hurt me during sparring. I had given a snap kick to Samantha. She grabbed my leg, paused a moment, picked me up, and threw me down extremely hard on my back. I had my head tucked in, although that could have been dangerous if I didn’t. I gave an over the head chop to Kelly, she got ready to throw me, and paused right before she did, and gave extra emphasis to straining my wrist, which hurt some time after. I do not know the reason. -2/14/20]

Monday, March 12th. Ace was there when I came in. [He was sitting in a chair in view of the door, leaning forward, shoulders hunched. He had a look of recognition and dread on his face, and held his cell phone up subtly as I came in, then let it drop.] He said he had barely slept in the past three days he was working so much, although he was pretty good handling night shifts compared to some. Even so, you feel it after a shorter period of time. In …………., you can really see him tiring. [Given that Ace had read or heard of my previous journal post, and given that the doughnuts were spiked with something to make me drowsy, the way I had described eating so many and pointing out they were from Reid, could cause Ace to fear I had figured out what was done to me. He used his camera to get a mood check to try to read me. Looking back, Reid may have changed his password and asked me to open his laptop so that I would think of myself as not with it. Then he suggests being nervous driving past police. Ace suggested that people who were not with it were undesirable employees, and talked about being pulled over and having your licence suspended. He had asked me to drive a route I was unfamiliar with in front of police officers. All of this may be intended to have the effect of making me feel weak and more in need of his approval. It is possible that I may have been pulled over that evening. They seemed to be satisfied with …………. and others thinking I was strange and confused, given that is when I was called back. Though it seems I was still being threatened later on. -2/20/20] Reid is away for a few days. [Perhaps to protect him in case I wanted revenge. -2/20/20]

He and Alex left in [his boat] to bring it over, and he asked me to pick them up in his truck. He told me he would call me, and texted me while I was finishing up payroll that there was no rush but that I should head over. By the time I got there they were at …………. and Ace said they would buy me lunch. It was an upscale establishment, and they were sitting at the bar, discussing work planning strategies. I declined lunch and got my own. [They insisted I at least drink some water, and when I didn’t, Ace sighed and shifted uncomfortably.] When I got back, they had already finished their meal and seemed to be waiting. They did not seem upset with me. Ace drove back, and told Alex about Derrin, and said leadership gains a lot of respect by not freaking out at things like this. The child support scam punishes you by taking away your means to get to work. [Taking your license away.]

...

One of the things Derrin was cited for was not having a medical card with him. We had no idea one was required. I looked up the rule and found it was. This is the first we had heard of it, and considering Paige's questions when …………. went for his test, she didn't know either. Ace wanted me to figure it out and resolve it. [Derrin had been given a $1000 ticket while working with a company vehicle. Not all of the charges seemed reasonable to hold him responsible for and not the company, such as this one. Several people in the company seemed to not like him, such as Greg and Frank.]

[Ace] asked me if I am such an anarchist, why do I try so hard to conform. Why don't I break more rules? Why not drive without a license, or avoid paying taxes? It is fun. I should try it. He asked, isn't anarchy refusing to obey the government? I told him it was not. He asked what it was. I explained it is the idea that each person has the greatest claim to themselves and their own lives, and to the extent that we organize as a community, we do so by mutual consent. Whereas the government forces the will of some on others, and is for the most part, an unjust act of threat and violence. Ace thought I should stop calling myself an anarchist. He wondered that I get much of this from my Christian faith, but that would seem to say that I ought to follow the rules. I explained that the government is not authorized to execute injustice, but as for us, "as much as is possible with you brethren, be at peace with all men." Ace wondered if my anarchy was purely ideological then. "In what way do you live out your anarchy." I did not answer him. [He said “Good talk.” And promptly walked out of the trailer.][It was as if he knew he had been unmasked, and was asking more directly why the government might have a problem with me. He also encouraged me to break the law, which is more entrapment. It sounded like he was saying things would be better for me if I didn't call myself an anarchist. If my political views are a reason why I am being targeted, that would be anathema to what the American system is said to be. -2/20/20]

Tuesday, March 13th. ...Drew was now very alarmed at how we must get this material storage payment that I had reminded him of a few days ago. [If I was angry with the company and wanted to retaliate by way of theft, this would not likely be something I would have taken the initiative to remind them of. If they had let it slide I believe they would not have gotten around $200,000. -2/20/20]

...

[Ace] said he was getting more and more tired of the codependent Mexicans who can't drive themselves the more he hired English speaking people who had driver's licenses. [I had just gotten my MD license.]

He asked if I was getting bored or didn't have enough to do. "I have a lot to do, it's just that it isn't here." Ace said he had been meeting this girl from …………. who does …………., and mentioned tiny houses, how she can't believe what a thing it is. Ace said I would be the one to talk to about it.

Wednesday, March 14th. ... I was attempting to complete the request for payment of stored material. This involved printing off a formal letter and signing it, but of course the printer decided to take some artistic license with the toner. I replaced the toner, and then I was getting a different problem. Now was the time to finally troubleshoot this thing. Eventually, this led me to discover how to stop the printer from crinkling the papers, but created yet another problem. There were a few tutorials and faq pages with software that didn't exactly match and all kinds of recommendations. ...

Thursday, March 15th. ...Ace told the boys he got a text from a kid he used to work with in the shop. It was a picture of a part, and a message about how Ace picked him out of nowhere and taught him to weld. Eight years later his welds are consistent every time. Ace said that made him tear up a little. [Perhaps a reminder to me of the opportunities that Ace had given me.]

...

Ace wondered how he gets into these situations. "Because you work for--!" I stopped myself. "Did you have a more specific question?" "Just what you were about to say." "--People who need Jesus." He laughed. "That's perfect. We all need Jesus." I laughed to myself, saying I just needed to wear a T-shirt that says 'Y'all need Jesus.' "You need that sign above your desk." "Yes!"

[During the time I was planning on leaving [my company], at Jujitsu, there was conversation of employees leaving companies and stealing money from the employers. Ace was obviously trying to get me to say something against and express anger towards the bosses. -2/13/20]

Friday, March 16th. ... As I was about to leave, I saw a credit card on the table, and put it back …………. and texted Ace ………….. Ace came in and said it was Zoro's.

Monday, March 19th. Change of plans. I had been doing a good amount of thinking over the weekend. I didn't feel totally confident that I was making the right choice in quitting right after taking my vacation. …

I drafted a one week notice resignation letter and went in Monday morning. In comes Ace and Reid. "You still here? Are you going to work or what?" "Hi Sharon, good to see you again." Reid stood in my doorway for a moment. "You're not very good at taking vacations." Very true. "One moment." I tell Ace. He leaves the room for a second as I print out and sign my [resignation] letter. [If I was trying to retaliate against the company this also would not make sense. -2/20/20]

Friday, March 23rd. I texted Ace, asking him when/where he would like to pick up the keys. Today and tomorrow would be good for me. He texted back, now is good, and gave me a coffee shop in …………., 15 minutes. I drove there and found the place. Ace was at the cash register getting some coffee. I found a seat and waited for him. "Sharon how are you?" "I am well." "So are you staying here or going back to ………….?" "Probably not." "What are you going to be doing? Jujitsu? Tiny houses?" "I think there will be tiny houses in my future.”

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