Speak English.... OR ELSE.....

Once upon a time in a universe far far away.... in a day and age that passed many, many, many moons ago, back when a sheila was a sheila and having a good time surfing with friends wasn't measured in or defined by the amount of people sitting at home staring at a computer screen!

Back when I was busy doing my thing overseas often enough in Fakawi, not the Fakawi found on Google maps, but the one that is never on Google maps when needed, the Fakawi referred to every time someone asked the person in the passenger seat "Do you know where the F#ck are we?"

OK...OK... enough of the build up...

This is a post that was in fact a comment in a thread:
https://steemit.com/travel/@jackmiller/how-to-speak-australian-a-basic-intro-seriously-no-jokes

"HOW TO SPEAK AUSTRALIAN - A Basic Intro! Seriously, no jokes!"

So without any further ado, here it is:

"When I was on a business trip to Houston, TX (The Lone Star State) one of the head honchos sitting at the table said "You talk funny"

I just answered "Ha, look whos talking"

Everyone just cracked up laughing. Later on I found out that he was the man who was going to be signing off on my pay cheque... luckily he thought it was funny, but I was in fact dead serious!

PS. Texans & southerners in general over State side are very similar to the old school Australians. Very proud, very productive and very straight forwards and up front.... excellent people."

So basically this is a justification for posting about speaking Australian.

I have another little story to tell, on a similar note:

Many moons earlier, again in a land far far away, I was giving an AAR to a Full Bird Colonel, once I finished he turned to his spunky little translator and angrily said to her "Well translate".....

She looked at me, then she looked at him and she squeekily answered, "He's speaking English Sir"

He looked at me, then looked back at her and said "That's English?"

My partner in crime, a fine Southern Gentlemen, a member of an organization called "The Sons of The Confederacy" looked at me and along with the 'push down' hand signals said "J... slow down, speak slowly".

So I did & then when the Full bird was gone we all cracked up laughing......

I sincerely felt sorry for his translator, she looked as if she was going to wet her panties when he yelled at her "WELLLLLL TRANSLATEEEE"

Man looking back, there were heaps of people who thought they knew everything, that they were some sort of important "gods" or something.... when in fact they were nothing more than stuck up dumb c#nts.

OK... so rather than me going into the specifics and all the technical mumbo jumbo, after all I'm not qualified to define the true nature of these types of people, so I have managed to find a great video with all the necessary info and definitions.