I hate Valentine's day

poet (55) in teamgirlpowa • 7 years ago

It's not because of the lovey dovey sticky gooeyness. That's fine.
It's not because of the obnoxious commercialization. I don't have to partake.
It's not even because of how monogamous it is. I don't expect society to be polyamorous just yet.

So why the hate?

I hate it because everything that happens on this day is disingenuous. Literally any other day would have more meaning.
You get me something special, or send me a card, or tell me how much you love me. I know it is because a day showed up on the calendar, and not because of feelings you just had to express.
It isn't all bad, of course. Long relationships can get in a bit of a rut, and it's a nice reminder that you should do something for your loved ones, do something special. But really, just do it any other day, please. Just pick a random day and get me balloons. Balloons make me happy, balloons for not reason, just because you woke up that day and loved me, makes me even happier.

Gifts are fun. Get me a gift I like, and it's heart warming. But really, give me that gift any other day. Randomly come across something you think I'd really love, and get it for me. Because it made you think of me. Don't buy me a gift because a date showed up on the calendar, and you went out looking for something. Agonized over it. And then got me something just because it's that day of the year, without being completely sure I'd like it. But hey, at least you found something.

I also hate the other side
I hate feeling pressured into doing something special on this day. Maybe today I don't feel like it. Maybe today is just not that special for me. Maybe I don't have a good idea. Maybe I don't love you with overflowing intensity today because I broke my rib last week and honestly, I'm depressed.
Luckily, my SOs don't make me feel pressured.

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I also hate birthdays

I mean, I used to really hate birthdays. I warmed up a bit to the idea of "I survived another year" concept. I guess it became a little less trivial as I aged. I also felt at one point the desire to celebrate my existence. I did that only once though, and have no need to repeat it.
But more than that, I hate the culture around birthdays. The gift giving, which just like valentine's is more meaningful any other day of the year. Not only that, you're set up for this back and forth evaluation thing. Hate it.
Hate is a strong word. I don't really hate it. I don't sit around all day festering my hatred for gift giving, it just makes me sigh every time it comes around.

I don't hate one year anniversaries

I like celebrating a relationship that has lasted another year. It's nice to have a reminder that "look, we've made it work." Relationships take energy, they're accomplishments, celebrating accomplishments are nice.

teamgirlpowa valentine love relationships relationship

7 years ago by poet (55)

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geekorner (58) · 7 years ago

I hear you. I also feel that if I can do something extra on Valentine's, then it's almost as if I've failed - because why am I not doing all I can on any other day already?

I don't feel the same about birthdays though. They're almost like anniversaries to me, a way to show my appreciation for the person being there. Also, while you could do it with Valentine's, I do it with birthdays - look for gifts or work on them months in advance. So sometimes when I "just find something fitting" that I could give you on the other day, I do save it for the birthday anniversary.

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atrocsy (41) · 7 years ago

Well, I don't like it either, but the main of my reasons is the commercialization. I love the birthdays tho. It is the only personal celebration that we have and I feel kinda special on that day :)

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cizzo (57) · 7 years ago

I'm on the same page. I've never done well with these forced celebrations, they feel stifled and unnatural as opposed to something that could be more spontaneous and heartfelt.

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chasegapo (46) · 7 years ago (edited)

"I hate it because everything that happens on this day is disingenuous."

I completely agree. When one receives a gift today, they know it is because its valentines day.

It is so much more meaningful and if it is random or a surprise. These are the best because it is an indication that you are genuinely being thought of and loved without anything external directing the person.

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pjunlimited (37) · 7 years ago

You have a very good perspective. Alot of importance is placed on birthday, christmas, valentine, new year. Some will be saving money for this days as it is the only day they have fun in the year. Somepeople will only call u or remember you on this days because they feel you will be annoyed with them if they don't.

If you exermine well, on this days alot of things are done out of pressure, demand and wrong perception. Happiness, love should be expressed naturally and not tied to any date.

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khalidjr11 (51) · 7 years ago

Hi @poet . I totally agreed with your post . Many people give a gift , flowers on this day because other people are doing not because they wanted to. They don't have a feeling for this days.they just wanted to follow the trend.
and because of this last year I decided not to Celebrities these days if I have not feeling for it.