Eulogy for my father and the reason I havent been active in Steemit for some time

The last month had been a blur.

I guess death does that to people. One moment everything is fine, and the next everything's gone to oblivion. I apologize for going silent for the last few weeks. Though the world moves on without me, My world stood still.
On the afternoon on a Saturday 2nd December 2017, My father breath his last peacefully at home, discovered first by my mother, perhaps a moment too late, but perhaps it was meant to be. By the time Paramedics have arrive, it was too late. A pulse monitor has shown the worse possible result, flat-line.

The Chinese tradition dictates that the deceased's heir and closest family to stand watch all thorughout during the wake. I tried my best, leaving watch to shut my eyes for a cumulative 10 hours over the 4 days' wake. To be honest, i was numb throughout the whole funeral service. The combination of crying, smiling, planning has drained me to the core.
I did not made an eulogy deserving of someone such as my father. There was no script, much less any rehearsals.

If it is any consolation, I would very much leave my eulogy to my father here, on the blockchain. Where, hopefully like the memories of my father, this post can stay forever.

The life of the deceased is placed in the memory of the living. - Marce Tulius Cicero

Let's not remember the passing of my father with grief, but with that of gratitude. Grateful, most of all, that despite the loss of a someone so sorely dear to us, we've been able to reconnect with each other, relationships that were lost for decades has been reconnected. Long distant relatives come together and know each other. Grateful, that this death of my father is sudden.
that he indeed has left in peace, there are worse ways to die. Grateful, for his life, and the life that he has touched and inspired. Grateful most of all, that although he is very much loved by all of us, It seems, God loved him more.

For those who has ever known of him, my father needs no introduction. I would not bore you with a laundry list of nice-sounding adjectives in attempt to even try to describe the person he is. I am very sure that many who are here [in the funeral hall] have stories of him that would even surprise and amaze myself.
My father, Christopher Kho, for all intents and purposes, is a prodigal son of God. Born a catholic, turned his back onto His Grace at a rebellious young age, lived an adventurous life, an unorthodox life, but a tumultuous life. Books upon books will be needed to retell the stories of his life.
He's traveled the world over, but rather than over continents, his journey took him across oceans and seas. From the depths of The Pacific to the cold of the North Seas, one could call him the modern day sailor.

After a life of living away from the Grace of God, he found Him again, or perhaps in hindsight, God took him back to His Grace almost 12 years ago in the very hall that he now rest.

God blessed him, and redeemed him. God changed him, and God used him..
"God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God."

• 1 Corinthians 1:28

God indeed chosed to use him as his means of blessings to everyone. the church, his family, his friends - and even during the days he did not attend church, the community of Miri.
A humble and faithful servant of God, I don't think he had ever said no to a any call for help if he can do it himself. Wherever he goes, he never fails to leave smiles on the faces of anyone who had crossed path with him.

His amicability and friendliness has even gained him the love of the Kelabit community in Bario, Doo' Linuh was his name, given by the people of the Bario Highlands. "Humble one", they call him. For his voluntary contribution of his time and sweat in helping the community.

He is indeed loved by all the people around him. And he loved them too. His family, his friends, and the children. My father loved me as much as he loved the youths of churches, a testament to his capability to love. He'd stop whatever he do at times when he sees a young baby and would not stop until he gets to coax the baby to hugging him, usually the baby does, I've never seen a baby cry in his arms.

He leaves inspiration wherever he goes, advise, encouragement, and his music.... ohh his music.
If there is one thing to remember him by, it might probably be his music.
I remember often times on a good day before dinner, he'd take out his Martins and strum beautifully the chords of a song by James Taylor and softly sing to it.
"When you're down, and troubled.. And you need a helping hand. And nothing, oh nothing, is going right. Close your eyes and think of me, and soon i will be there. To brighten up even your darkest sky. You just call out my name, And you know wherever i am, I'll come running, to see you again. Winter, spring, summer or fall. I will be there... You've got a friend"

We all loved my father, i know. But it seemed, God loved him more...

I thank you all for reading it. this post has been made for a different purpose. A closure, perhaps. It doesn't matter if it gets read. or not.

To be honest, for a plethora of reasons and excuses. I don't think i made that good of an eulogy to honor my father. And with the need-to-dos and responsibilities that now falls on m shoulder, i have been so so swamped for the past few weeks, and probably the next months. Which explains my inactivity on steem.

I do hope to get as soon as i can. I want to be very invested in this community and advancement in innovation. Which what happens to me personally now. I know now i have to put everything i have in something i believe in.
If my father had taught me anything, it will be to give for free and never expect anything in return for a help given. Never demand anything when genuinely helping someone. Your help decreases in value when a demand of reciprocation is attached.

I hope to emulate the good that my father has shown me. The thing i have learned from him. To hopefully to be as good if not better than the man he is. Since this is how life works with legacy. Though he has not left me with any material legacy, it is the intangible that is more treasured.
I hope that with this eulogy, i may leave my father's soul to rest. It is honestly i feel is the last thing i need to made right.

I apologize, I can only show you the transcript of my eulogy, i have not taken any single photo during the whole unfolding of this event.

My whole hope is for this month to get it over with and hope for a better one next.

Life moves on, and with it, memories and all that is good.