Near suicidal but God turn things around for me. New Season

That very moment when Jesus speaks to your heart and say

" It's time to leave everything behind and fly on your own,
it's time to walk that journey on your own "

This words were spoken to me yesterday during worship at church while at choir.

To be honest i nearly broke down because it is like a whole paradigm shift of surrendering everything at the cross and go solo. It is a whole new season of spreading the wings and getting out of that comfort zone. It is a whole new season of seek first His kingdom. It is a whole new season of trusting the Lord. It is a whole new season of stepping down from certain ministries. It is a new season that i have to step in to prepare me for ministry that requires sacrifice, commitment , effort , obey and even going through persecution. It is a season of saying goodbye to some people in my life. It is a new season for me to learn to juggle.

It is a challenge for me. It is a rough sea out there. It is a turbulence of roller coaster, but through it all i am reminded that whatever i go through is to only set that foundation and build me up for the kingdom of God.

Build me up strong to lead a generation of believers , to pastor a generation that loves the Lord who would be all sold out for His kingdom. To lead a generation who are bought with a high price. To set that foundation and release a prophetic voice.

" But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33 )

Yesterday night was an emotional / dramatic one as i nearly ended my life because i was very depressed at being in a season that i am in now. I couldn't take it. I was slowly burning out every second. But before i could even do anything to harm myself i was reminded that Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

That verse kept me going , the cross necklace that i am wearing kept me going last night. It reminded me of His love and His Goodness over my life.

In the midst of all this new season, there will be times of discouragement , there will be times of breaking down, draining out, burning out, there will be times of learning to be in His presence , but with all that being it teaches me to put God first in our lives because everything that we do or are about to do , God takes care of it as our thoughts are line up with the Word of God , all things are impossible no matter how tough that battle could be.

So no matter what season or situation that you are facing , know that God is preparing you and God is turning it around for His Glory.

" You've been so, so good to me
You've been so, so good to me
Oh to think where I would be
If not for You "

Hang onto the Goodness of God.
Hang onto His promises.
God is faithful in every battle.
God is worthy in every season.
God makes all things perfect.

Just like what @littlenewthings shared with me yesterday that really encourage me in this season

" The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalms 18:2