A Teardrop of Life is Tough!

"LIFE IS TOUGH"

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Life is tough--that's what they say,
But they don't know what it's like every day,
To wake up in the morning and go to school,
Just so people can test you and prove you're a fool.

The teacher says you obviously didn't try,
But they don't know you go to your room and cry.
You did put in effort, you did your part,
They just don't understand you're not that smart.

Then comes the pressure from your mum and dad,
Who are so clearly disappointed that your grades are bad.
You are punished and picked on for the rest of the year,
Because you finally gave up on the future career
That was once so close, but is now so distant,
However, your teachers and parents are still insistent.

It's hard enough getting up and going to class,
Without the pressure and expectation that you have to pass.
The worst part, however, is not that you're a disappointment,
It's the permanent, never ending embarrassment
Of always failing and coming last,
Of never being good enough, your confidence dropping fast.

Everyone else seems to be doing just fine,
Their parents are all proud, unlike mine.
Honestly, I can't think of a worse place than this,
When in reality it's made out to be somewhere we should miss.
I won't miss it, I'll be glad to leave,
Five years wasted because failure is all I ever received.

I know it's my fault and that I'm the one to blame.
I gave up so early on because I was ashamed.
To my family I'm a failure, and I'm a failure to myself,
Everyone's high expectations only damaged my metal health.

If I ever have kids I will always try
To make sure the fear of failure is not the reason they ever cry.
People need to understand school's no longer fun or good,
'Cause some of us don't fit in, although we wish we could.

This poem is very personal to me because it conveys the feelings I felt during this past few weeks. I feel really bad about myself, not to mention embarrassed. The efforts, nights with no sleep, and all things are all wasted! I am disappointed and I hate this feeling. I think others can relate to this because schools nowadays have such high expectations that people can so easily feel like they have disappointed people. And now, I'm in the midst of darkness. I'm in a state of being a failure. I feel unmotivated. I failed them and it really made me sad and lonely. I felt anger, guilt and sorry for myself. I want to get rid this negative emotions coz it's choking me slowly and I can't breathe!

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Please help me to get motivated. Just write down your advice in the comment portion. Thank you STEEMIANS and good day!

Sincerely yours,
@kristinemae