My first payout idea

Yesterday morning I received a phone call concerning to my father's case. I feel again the torment, the pain of letting him go so I visited him. I still can't imagine that I will be visiting my dad on the graveyard this early. I decided to cut my agony off so I walk straight to Shrine of our Lady of Grace Parish. I want someone to talk to, I want a peace of mind. I believe he made everything for a reason so I need to be tough. I feel the weakness surrounds my world so ask for more strength because I know I need to re-fuel. I thanked him for all the blessings he gave and I asked for forgiveness for all my sins. I took a deep breath before going home.

Upon walking the way out to exit the church, as the typical scenarios here a group of sampaguita vendors will bent their little hands to offer their product. Little? yeah because they're just a kiddos. Around 4-9 years old are working rather than studying. You can buy sampaguita flower for a minimum amount of P10.00 (0.02$), I bought 4 bundles worth P40.00 and walk straight to the right part of the church where you can lit a candle and make a wish. I didn't believe on these stuffs actually but I feel like I want to.

Before entering the "wishing room", an old woman caught my attention. She's also a sampaguita vendor but not like the others do, she is just sitting on this side looking nowhere. I stand in front of her and ask how much her sampaguita, It looks like she didn't noticed my presence but she managed to answer "Sampung piso lang anak". She finally looked straight on my direction, and someone stabbed my heart when I saw it. Her eyes are blind and teary. I'm wondering why she's crying but I can't ask her. Why? because i'm controlling my emotions, I don't want to seek people's attention crying there louder than this old woman do. I snapped my thoughts when I heard her again "Ilan bibilhin mo nak?" I answered "50 pesos po nay" and gave her a hundred peso bill. She stared on my direction waiting for something. It took me couple seconds to get it.
"Ay 100 pesos po yan nay"
"Ah sandali lang ha"
She insert her hands inside her pocket and took a 20 pesos, 50 pesos and 2 pesos.
"Anak, tignan mo nga magkano ito?" holding the bills.

I told her that the bill is too much, and she asked her again regarding the money she has until we made an exact amount for my change. Before I left, her last words made my eye teary "Pasensya na anak ha, ang hirap ng walang paningin"

Travelling way back home, i'm blaming the old woman's daughters and sons. Where are they? How hard it is for them to take care of their mother? How cold hearted they are to neglect the woman gave them lives in that condition? Another deep sigh.

When I got home, An idea made me smile. Since i'm planning my first pay out on my little earnings here. I'll get back on her. I will help her, maybe not that much for now but I'll try to wipe her tears away.

She made me feel how lucky I am despite of the recent happenings and made me realize something. I need to work hard for what I wanted to be. Who I am to feel weak since I can do everything I want without so much struggle? While she, a granny who's not seeing the crowd is working so she can eat even a bit everyday without complaining. As my recent blog "Not everyone has an opportunity", I made my mind. A part of my every pay out will be for them. Starting now, they will be my inspirations to work hard on this platform. No matter how hard it is, i will have faith on my abilities. I am so excited to see her again! It feels like another door to enter was opened. All i'm thinking right now is someday i'll be a whale here and just what the whales do, I will help others too. If you can dream it, no wonder you can do it! :)

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence. -Confucius

Thanks for reading!

• YHIEN
  #steemfamilyph #steemitpowerupph #steemph