special thanks to @teardrops for given me a prevailed to share my #teardrops of hope about my late sister. check post here
yesterday sister peace died. She was only 35 years old and the light of the family. nobody knew it was coming, not quite as quickly as it did, somebody poisoned her in her own house, As soon as the poison reached her brain, it was game over.
wondering how the hell anyone can manage to get into her apartment have the gut's to poison her for no reason, living her two kids motherless.what a wicked world.
wondering how the hell anyone can manage to geton with life when this terrible thing has happened and suddenly, from out of nowhere that train comes hurtling at you.
do you really know how it feels? to lost a young,vibrant beautiful gorgeous lady at such?
It feels as if someone has sucked out everything you have, your guts, your heart, your oxygen, your whole being.
For a little while I didn’t speak to my #bestfriend on the phone, for fear of breaking down. I only spoke to my friends on WhatsApp, my great Steemit.com community. Job number one was to explain to you guys how I feel about the dealth of my beloved #bestfriend sister. secondly was #teardrops of how I feel and the family also.
my bestfriend said.
After sister peace realised she was going to die, it was the last time she and I ever looked at each other in the eye. We avoided that. I know she felt the same. We knew that if we ever locked our gaze, that the tears would never stop. So it was better that way. Now I regret that, I regret not grabbing her and looking at her, deep into her soul, and telling her how much I admired her bravery. How she was a warrior, a trouper, an inspiration, and a truly beautiful human being and of course, how much love I had for her, but I didn’t, and I hate myself for that. I know she knew, but did she actually know?
My sister’s two greatest fears when she was
1.how will my kids take this;
- leaving behind any sadness.
teardrops of hope.
Actually, I can get through the days. My biggest amazement and awe in all of this is the wonder of the human brain. The kindness of it, that it allows you a few hours, sometimes three or four hours in a day or night, where you are all right. Where you laugh, smile, make a meal, play with your love once, talk to fellow steemians … you just are allowed to be OK sometimes and I thank the brain for that. Allowing us a little slice of time-out from the horror that surrounds us.
So it’s hard. No doubt it is life-changing. And what next? #teardrops of hope.
Well, we’ve been dreading Easter, of course. We have become good at that. But we all have an underlying anxiety that while we slowly move toward 2019, desperate to see the back of the year that brought us so much sadness, we also fear entering a year not touched by her, moving further and further away from the last time we were a family, all present and correct.
We will survive, though. Unlike her, we will survive. But we will for ever live with a shade of darkness over us. A grey filter over our world for ever.
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