This demotivational poster is Anti-Aldrin. I am fully aware that there are those who like him, but as you can tell, he is someone I have been having such a loving hatred towards him ever since I was a young teenager. Sit back, relax, and revel in the sadomasochistic evisceration I have in store for this big-headed lunkhead jock from a show I consider to be a guilty pleasure at best and not so great at worst. Furthermore, this is my contribution to this year's Red Ribbon Reviewers' month.
Have you ever had a character you watched when you were much younger that you had the biggest hate boner for? Did you believe that looking back when you were young and impressionable that the character you hated back then was just nothing more than a mere nuisance? Well, dear readers, Aldrin Pesky from The Buzz on Maggie was that particular character. Ever since I saw a promo of this show with his smug face flexing his bicep, I knew I was going to hate him from the bottom of my heart.
I guess my hatred for certain jock characters have made me build up my self-identity as a youth, considering that I identified myself with goths, art freaks, comic geeks, misfits, and anybody akin to Daria Morgendorffer, Jane Lane, Andrea also from Daria, Beavis and Butthead, Wanda Maximoff, Raven, Gaz, Ginger Foutley, Carl Foutley, Bobby Hill, and the cast of The Young Ones. Courtney Gripling was also somebody I identified with when I was young because she was the total antithesis of the popular girl, given how kind, surprisingly genuine, and warm she was. Sure, Kevin from Daria was the nicer if not more simple-minded example of the jock with a heart of gold, but the likes of Duncan Matthews, Dash Baxter, and Aldrin Pesky have made me look at these big shots with major disdain.
Nowadays, as an adult, I still revel in loving to hate him because there are negative qualities that I have always acknowledged about him as well as the few nuggets of him being okay, but I still love to hate him.
I have always hated how self-centered, vain, and egotistical he was. Stating that he was perfect because he considered flyball practice boring, sucking up to Principal Peststrip just because he was the star athlete of the school, and even faking his injury to spite Maggie among many other deeds made me want to place a huge curse on him. In fact, Aldrin made me want to go the goth route because of how much I hated him. Every time I saw his smug face and his vanity about his nicely shaped muscles desecrate the small screen, I just wanted to kick him in his family jewels and go full wicked witch him by putting him under a spell.
In spite of my harping on him because of how much of a smug jackass he was, I could begrudgingly respect him for at least understanding the importance of working hard and not letting your excuses get you down and he does care for baby sister Bella. I may give him a silent applause for that, but I still hate his guts.
In conclusion, I loved to loathe Aldrin Pesky when I was a 13-year-old seventh-grader and I still kind of hate him today as a 28-year-old university student and content creator. His egotistical personality, how he parades himself as God's gift to his school and the ladies, and how much of a jackass he is all earn him my disdain and my cynicism. If there is someone I can tell go screw himself to the moon and back, it would have to be Aldrin Pesky. Bar none.
I hope you all enjoyed my evisceration on this jerk jock and I will see you in the next submission. Take care, stay safe, and Happy Holidays, everybody.
Aldrin Pesky from The Buzz on Maggie belong to Dave Polsky and Disney.
