It's been a while since I've last posted here. I don't really have a good reason as to why I left, but it's probably because I've lost motivation. Utterly and completely. I don't know if it's a burn-out phase in my life (it's been a couple of months now), but it's not pleasant in any way. I don't feel motivated to get up and be a better person than I was yesterday , I'm not motivated to read and gain knowledge, I'm not motivated to do anything. Maybe it's the weather, but it's been like this for a while.
I had two exams yesterday and I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail one of them, because I have not prepared well enough for it. And why was that? Because I was too lazy and didn't want to sit down for an hour a day to study and prepare like a normal human being. I keep waiting until the very last day to study like a maniac and then I'm all nervous and anxious when the day comes. I have next two exams in a month and I better kick myself and go study every single day to prepare for it, because these two are not going to be easy. Letting teachers and professors down is a horrible thing, but the worst thing is I'm letting myself down. The person I hurt most with such behavior is me.
I'm so ready to finish this and be done with schools forever. I've been in schools for 20 years straight and I'm starting to despise them. I don't think they're a waste of time and unnecessary (unless you're in a country where you have to pay a large sum of money for tuition), but they only teach you the basics. You still have a lot to learn after graduating and getting a degree. I have no idea how people that have master degrees and doctorates do it, I'd go insane. Learning new things is fun when you read a book or scientific research, but learning information by heart and being graded based on what you learnt is so unpleasant and annoying.
So I've been thinking how to get my motivation back, like who is going to motivate me? And I've realized, like once before, it's not other people's job to motivate you, it's yours. You will have to do whatever it takes to motivate yourself to do things that you need to do because you know they will bring you closer to your goals and make you into who you want to be. Maybe it's time to watch motivational videos on youtube, they seem to work for me. The hardest thing is, no matter what, to do things you need to do, you need to sit down and start working on them. Making an excuse is so easy and I know this all too well, the hard thing is doing what's right and tell excuses there's no place for them in your head.
I thought if I return here, perhaps I should share my thoughts with all of you and try and make some friends along the way, instead of lacking personality and being a professional straight-face. There are plenty of people that know how to read articles and write summaries of them for other people, but I believe sharing your personal opinions and thoughts and having open discussions is perhaps even more important and helps individuals develop.
So tell me, how do you deal with the lack of motivation? What do you do when your'e feeling down and when you don't feel like doing anything? How to you make yourself work and do all the tasks that you have to do?
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Eat chocolate? That seems to work a lot of the time :)
Maybe do something you really enjoy or try some new activity you have never done before.
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I guess that would help. :) I know dark chocolate is good for focusing and working, maybe I'll test that out after holidays and report back.
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