Tin Foil Raps 2 - A Paranoid Rhymes Contest - Syrian Edition - Comedy Open Mic Round #10

in tinfoilraps •  7 years ago  (edited)

Boom boom kaboom, can you feel the imminent danger, of a thermal mushroom?

Ain’t we humans wanna suffer, in the hideous aftermath, of that poisonous plume

Tick tock tick tock, the doomsday clock’s a tickin’, if we’re not careful we’ll be doin’ some boot lickin’

All the criminals and their henchmen, approaching in the distance, are the four horsemen

No hope and no change, they just re-arrange, only a fool, would fall for their cool

Pop culture celebrity and global hegemony, you’re told who’s your friend and your next regime change enemy

Just shut the fuck up and drink your starcucks, be grateful and loyal, you’re consuming our oil

If you don’t eat your taco’s and bell, you be sent directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred, go back to the start, like Indy five hundred

Please please Mr Trump Prezinazi, ask your friends and swamp creatures, in the Alluninati after party

Why we fighting multiple theatre wars, for billionaires on Wall Street, and all their whores.

Bankers and wankers in their dinner suits, stealin’ all the workers labour and bearin’ fruits

They just launderin' funny monies, for terrorists in white helmets, and big bad sugar daddy's

Hitlery Billary Killary Shillary, ain’t no changing that Itinerary, it’s been planned from a different century

They built a scam foundation, with no hesitation, they take all your taxes, to faraway places

It’s no surprise, to those with sane minds, anything goes, to save their own hinds

Russian bots and Russian troll farms, accused of spreading disinfo, that's just a cover story for that sore loser, dirty old nympho

Twitter storms and twitter rants, about animal Assad, do we need to mention, Mad Dog Mattis the fucktard

Is QAnon the saviour, or just the same old deep state shillin’ behaviour, 5d chess oh please give it a rest

Keep your eyes on the ball, they tryin’ to waste the hours, keeping us occupied, by spreadin’ rumours ‘bout golden showers

It’s all just distractions, from the actions, in all the factions, generatin’ propaganda and emotional reactions

Russia Russia Russia, diplomats and Hookers, they ain't dissin' or pissin' on enemy onlookers

Deep state shit state, enlarged government prostate, bring your soldiers home, please don’t tempt your own fate

Drillin’ and killin’, stashin’ the cash, for pipelines and oil, the prince a Saudi royal, do you believe what their sellin’ with all the murder and shellin’?

The wheeling and dealing, always in the shadows and concealing, what happens next is anyone’s best guess, but one thing’s for certain there'll be a lotta hurtin’

Emesem dinosaurs, twitturd and themtube, it was all just designed to trap you into a cube

The media prestitutes with their clickbait and lies, they have the advantage, with their spies and five eyes

Oh morning Joe, what a blow to your show, Tucker no silly mother fucker, he knows how you row

They’re eagerly awaitin’ for military strikes, so they can jump on their mics, and shrill at new heights

They fakin’ their hate for the Presidents state, goes from Hitler to Jesus, overnight with one shake

You’re either with us or the terrorists they scream, will you fall for this meme and join their team?

A United States intervention, a British re-invention, French cries at the United Nations, a campaign on baseless foundations

The enterprise is ready, the stockpiles are on standby, fingers on the button, including Boris and his Mutton

Think long and hard, don’t pull the trigger, Donny’s tonnahands are itchin’ and gettin’ bigger

It failed in Lybia, they have slave markets and it’s shittier, their spreadin’ the chlamydia, why you wanna start on Syria?

White helmets takin’ selfies and receiving awards, making fake videos to thunderous applause, beheadin’ Armageddon, wtf are we forgettin?

Moderate bombs, targeting homs, chemical weapons, it’s all misdirection

It’s a war of attrition to sell ammunition, Israel first, they have permission for jurisdiction

Rockets are flyin’, people are dyin’, children are cryin’, it’s just the same old-a lyin’, why you in Palestine and occupyin’

If you wanna know the truth, be an internet sleuth, all the information, right there on your pc station

They don’t give a shit about you or me, or anyone that’s free, discredit you with trash talk, all you need to do is join us on the hardfork

We gettin' the truth out on the ground, Eva Bartlett, Vanessa Beeley and Tom Duggan

Please spread it around, so the Syrian people can go home, to start kissin’ and huggin’

The so-called tin-foil hatters, talkin' bout shit that really matters

Calling us anti-imperialists and conspiracy theorists, while cheering for bombing of innocent civilians

If that’s a state crime, we shouldn’t mind, kiss our fucking butts, we’re our own kind

Truth and peace will eventually prevail, it will be certain; will arrive with the failed state mail.

comedyopenmic nominations @danielshortell @sift666

Images sourced from sputniknews.com pexels.com and google images

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Hitlery Billary Killary Shillary, ain’t no changing that Itinerary, it’s been planned from a different century

😂 this is amazing! love every line! 👏👏👏👽

Thank you! Gotta keep those rays, away from my brain. Have to go now and get some tinfoil wrapped lunch;)

Bravo @palikari123, Bravo!! My personal favorite line:

"Is QAnon the saviour, or just the same old deep state shillin’ behaviour, 5d chess oh please give it a rest"

Nice work and goddamn that was comprehensive. I do believe you upturned every thinkable 'conspiracy' nugget in that little rhyming scheme. Clearly you're taking your own advice :)

"If you wanna know the truth, be an internet sleuth, all the information, right there on your pc station"

Thanks so much Daniel....your appreciation means a hell of a lot to me, coming from a brilliant writer like yourself. Also, go ahead share it with anyone you please.

Thanks Again.

Congrats on your win @palikari123 !!!!!!!!!!!! I just got back in town from a long weekend and this was among the first things I saw when I logged onto Steemit, awesome :)

Thanks Dan:) Hope you had a great weekend away!

Brilliant entry here my friend @palikari .. so many nuanced and interwoven truths, I'm very much liking your style and equally tipping my hat to you as a writer and genuine contest contender!

This is a fantastic way to get the truth out to people that may normally shy away from it .. used in the right way hip-hop holds an intrinsic power to cut straight to the matter at hand and I learned much from the rap stars of my youth, sadly that is also why much of the art form has been degraded and indoctrinated into a vapid mainstream culture. Thank you for sharing my friend!

Finally, one of my favourite steemians, has arrived from sky
You really took your time, next time please don't be shy
To leave me a deeply felt comment, you move around like a comet
You rays are blazing in glory, thank you for telling your story

Hey man, it's been a weekend of work
so I don't mean to be slack
but in a world of pretenders
you know I've always got your back
thank you for destroying this war of illusion
the worlds on a drip
and needs this lyrical truth transfusion

Cos in an age full of flaws
with no time to pause
we find ourselves slaves to Newtonian laws
for every action there is an equal reaction
and a world without love
enables hate to gain traction
perpetually frozen in cycles of time
until the wise step forward
and in the sand drawn a line

Sensational!

Who got the raps?
Who got the raps!?
Who got the motherphunkin tinfoil raps!

Went to sleep and loosened the wrap, so my head won't explode

mind the wRAPit hole. (the hole in the foil)

BTW never put your head in the microwave.

Luckily for me I don't own a microwave...a few less rays of radiation I have to deal with wooohohoohohoho

Yes, we have kids in Flint getting lead poisoning like its the 1920' eating paint chips. We have our soldiers overseas guarding Poppy fields so that we can feed our opioid "epedemic" here at home. White hats controling the middle east to keep a controled endless war going that is slowly creeping like a cancer to the rest of the world. Most people don't have enough sense to pour piss out of a boot even if the instructions were on the heal. We are putting more effort into how much a porn star can get paid to suck Trumps dick but noting for looking in to the Clinton killing machine and all of their other shady dealings. We are a doomed species, I mean our weatherman is Al Gore and our kids roll models are the Kardashians. I thought we would have flying cars by now when i was a kid but instead we are trying to figure out what bathroom to use , sending our kids to school with clear backpacks for"safety", or arresting people for sitting in a coffee shop for to long. We are still arresting people for smoking a plant that grows in the ground and letting rapists and pedophiles out of prison to make room for someone that had a dime bag on them. Until we colectivly get our shit together we do not deserve to get off this planet. I dream of a day when freedom rings and my gay,black , jewish neighbors can shoot their guns and smoke a joint without the fear of men in tanks kicking in their front door, shooting their dog and taking their kids away to live in a broken foster care system where they have a higher chance of being sold into child sex rings than they do graduating college. Sorry for the rant.

No problem, I don't mind a rant myself sometimes.

You did go out on a rant rampage here.

I’m not cool enough to understand it all but very impressive! You should write more. I remember your Greek bday celebration story. Or Do I have the wrong Jacob story 😉? Seriously, your writing is entertaining. Write away!

Thank you @beeyou, you are too kind. It was about Easter btw. I will attempt to write a little more often in the future. Here you go, I will reward you with some dust :P

I remember the Easter part but wasn’t it Jacob’s bday too or is Jacob part of the comedy? Lol, I’m not the best with comedy, just ask @doomsdaychassis and @profanereviews.

I see someone paid attention to my 2 cent dust post but still going around rewarding! Lol, I must be a helicopter mom like @pretty.dorky calls me! This one will have to go to dust, I have a prissy rule about not self voting. At the moment at least. 😂

Correct. The birthday was sort of a party on top of a party. Good times. It was the way I structured the story that made it confusing. I think I confused myself half way through writing it. Yes I did read your dust story. Ty dorky for upgrading my dust!

I thought it was a great story. It was a post about Easter celebrated in the happy ways of a Greek heritage, plus throw in a birthday party, so what better way? Keep writing and you'll find your flow. Check out pretty.dorky and profanereview's blogs, both received curied votes and they write for fun! Don't check out doomsdaychassis, he writes for the heck of it. Haha, I go there to have some laughs. (See how I'm talking about them behind their backs without adding the @). ;)

you tagged me 2 posts above this dork.
:)

Edit: Bee is right, don't check my stuff out. It is garbage.

Talking behind your back means you not knowing! Nah, not garbage. That's too harsh. Just not Pg13 rating.

My pleasure @palikari123! Gotta stick together until our votes are huuuge! 💰

Don’t worry @beeyou, I got this one! 😃

Thanks for keeping @palikari123's reward to me from turning into dust. ;)

Had to go find your giphy from the other post. That's how we roll baby!

rollin.jpeg

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

You won!! Yay. I saw the post announcement. Had no idea this was an entry. This is awesome. See, told ya you should write more. :)

No idea why I decided to check the trending page today, but I did and saw the contest announcement.

Thank you so much @beeyou

Haha, I should give you an upvote for that magnificent comment, simply for the super hot endearment but I'm tapped out and shouldn't be upvoting anymore.

Let's just go with helicopter momma since PD and Dooms now call me that. :) Start writing because you are obviously talented!

Yes, I celebrated by draining my voting power also 😂

That line has already been immortalised on a writing pad, (before it was typed into this comment section) to possibly be used in a future release, Ty and credit goes to pretty dorky for that awesome line!

Super hot helicopter mom, actin' like she's da bomb! LOL, yeah, don't quit my day job.

Awesome job with the rap and congrats on taking down the top spot, well deserved

Thanks:) Appreciate it!

congrats with striking gold!

Dude that is brilliant!

I couldn't write something like that, I couldnt rap my way out of a paper bag :)

The only thing I know about rap is that I like this album from 89:

https://www.allmusic.com/album/pauls-boutique-mw0000199269

Beastie:) Thanks heaps Ian.

You are not alone....the only rapping I ever did before writing this

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