Just A Little More Background On My Situation With the latest GoFundMe

Some of you may have never met me or heard of me and you're reading this for the first time. Some of you may be perps and some of you might be my friends. To make a long story short, my ex husband is a deeply disturbed person who is hell-bent on revenge. We spent a long marriage together before I finally left him. At some point he signed me up for a harassment program through his connections to some people who are alleged to be employees of the NSA or CIA. I was unaware of this until a little over a year ago. They're claiming to be from Cicada 3301, a LARPer group that works doing online live larps and alternate reality games, but for all I know, maybe they are not them...

I've had to start a GoFundMe again (https://www.gofundme.com/child-support-to-transgender-rapist) because I don't want to go to jail and have a record that would prevent me from getting a law license when I sit for the bar again (I've failed twice, thanks to my apparent inability to fight back the tears that come with losing custody, and thanks to having so many kids to take care of that I don't have much time for studying).

In 2010, I tried divorcing him but I was extremely stupid and I didn't consult an attorney until after I told him I wanted a divorce. We tried counseling but there was no way I was going to stay. He ended up hiring a lawyer after making many threats that he was going to take everything from me including the kids. He then raped me and told me that I was not allowed to hire an attorney or he would stop giving me and the kids money, kick me out of the house, and drag it out in court until he was sure I would lose everything. He told me his dad was willing to fund this in case our money got tied up by the judge.

Long story short, by March 2011 all I wanted was to get out of the marriage as smoothly as possible. In Texas there is no guaranteed spousal support so I took what I could get and moved out after the rape, thinking that I was doing a good job of splitting everything up equally because of my belief that he would be able to take the kids away from me and we would end up having to move in with my parents. I wanted to stay closer to their school and on my own and I thought I could make it on my own because I was almost done with law school so I wrongly assumed that I would be able to graduate, quickly pass the bar exam and then be fine. He was making $125k to $130k per year and I somehow stupidly thought I could make it on $1400 per month child support and $900 or so per month in equity from our house with 50 50 custody and student loans etc. I could probably pull that off living with my parents, but without that, it just became too difficult on that budget with two kids.

I then decided to graduate a semester earlier than planned just so I could get a job sooner.

I moved out at the beginning of March but that is when things turned bad. Within a couple of weeks he told me that if I didn't sign the orders he had his lawyer draw up, he wouldn't be paying child support that month, or sending the equity, so I would have had no way to pay rent the second month. (https://steemit.com/divorce/@amyjamey/that-awkward-moment-when-my-ex-husband-forced-me-to-sign-a-divorce-decree-without-an-attorney)

I was left no choice but to try and keep things going smoothly and agree to the things he had in there. I had a friend review the orders and she thought they looked ok so I just signed them, he fake fired his lawyer and tried to get a refund on his retainer, and then we went in front of the judge to finalize everything. I was so relieved that I was away from him and so happy to have that over with. He even forwarded me an email from the attorney at the time that I tried to get admitted later, where that lawyer obviously knew a lot of things about what Joel said about me that were completely untrue, and he was trying to call Joel an insane person, saying both of us were crazy. This was probably the first piece of evidence I have of him lying about me to everyone around us.

Looking back I was a complete moron. I should have done things differently but I didn't. I didn't stand up for myself before moving out and giving him all the power.

For the prior 14 1/2 years (since 1996) I had given my entire youth to this person and sacrificed a lot from my career so that he could go to graduate school and get a good job so I could become a stay at home mom. The entire time I still wanted to go back to school but I didn't know that he was against this as he had agreed to it while we were dating. I put him through school at Texas A&M and paid all of our bills the first few years while he was in grad school and establishing his career but he was against me going to law school and he has kept me down ever since I started.

My ex husband had a disturbing habit that he only revealed to me after I had already fallen in love with him and that is that he is a TIM (a trans identified man). His delusions are described in detail here:
https://survivingjoelphilo.wordpress.com/2018/03/06/tmi-on-the-tim-what-its-like-being-married-to-and-divorced-from-an-autogynephile/

I found myself single with no adequate means of support less than a year after getting a divorce for this reason (I finally couldn't handle his perversion any more and just had to get away). I did want to modify the child support almost immediately, as I felt it was inadequate after only a few months of living on it. I called his bluff by telling him that every time he would complain to me if I asked for more money early from the equity agreement, that he wanted me to go get on welfare, by telling him that he needed to pay his fair share of child support instead. He demanded that I sign over the house to him on a quitclaim deed and I said no because I knew that he already had the house anyway and I was still on the mortgage and did not want to keep myself on the hook for that while legally signing it over to him. He ended up selling it without my signature anyway so the whole quitclaim thing was stupid.

He used this argument we were having about him not paying as much as the state requires as a fake excuse for what he had planned all along which was to sue me for custody less than a year after the divorce so he could get out of paying me anything at all. Due to the doctrine res judicata, any event that takes place prior to the date of the last final hearing is inadmissible in court. So after he sued me, I wasn't allowed to talk about anything that made me look good in court or made him look bad. When I went back to court after he sued me, I was expecting a fair hearing but that is not what happened. Much like with hard core child trafficking, soft core child trafficking is the exchange of children for money in exchange for bribery and favors, which is what occurred. There was literally nothing significant that happened during the hearing that legally should have entitled him to custody whatsoever. The judge just took his time to go through the fake hearing and then handed my kids to my ex. I was told by my lawyer that we would have another chance to remedy the situation if I moved back into my old neighborhood so I moved 5 minutes from their school.

As soon as I did that my ex stalled, and then mysteriously my attorney went dark the day my discovery responses were due. Joel's lawyer tried to have me sanctioned for $5k. I was without a lawyer and being dragged into court with no money and no child support and depending only on my parents for help.

All in all I ended up going through 3 attorneys, being pro se for a while, getting remarried, and then losing the case completely. At the second hearing the judge allowed Attorney Howard Shapiro to get out of my demand for a jury trial by pretending that he wasn't prepared for a jury. Then I was forced into submission with more restrictions such as the typical things you see in parental alienation... restricting and taking away phone calls, and limiting me to 2 hours a week visits plus weekends.

My parents were helping me during this time and they are not rich, but they did spend more on attorneys than they probably should have in retrospect.

I have applied for legal aid but they won't take my case for many reasons, probably a combination of the fact that I have a law degree and now, the fact that my case is in a county I don't live in and that they don't travel from.

Since 2011, I received one year of child support plus a few months. From October 2012 until today, I've been on my own and raising my kids the best I can with my parents and my husband helping me.

I met my second husband and we fell in love immediately and got married within a couple of months. We've been put through hell by my ex and he has hung in there more than most men would. There were MULTIPLE false police reports and CPS reports against me but they always get ruled out. When I tried to press charges against him for the false reports the cops will not refer the case to the DA so I have to just put up with it.

During my marriage and divorce I received two human rights awards from CCHR International for my efforts to help others become aware of the dangers of psychiatric drugs. I was published in Pathways Magazine http://pathwaystofamilywellness.org/Informed-Choice/the-pill-merchants-the-relentless-and-tragic-marketing-of-psychiatric-drugs.html and featured on every local news station as well as in TIME Magazine https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19655648 and http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1909628,00.html.

Senator Robert Menendez had a bill he wanted to pass that would screen all moms for PPD and I was very much against this. I started a coalition and basically became a prominent activist for a while. https://uniteforlife.wordpress.com/2008/10/07/a-message-to-anyone-who-says-melanie-stokes-did-not-receive-enough-psychiatric-treatment/
I no longer associate with Scientologists or CCHR but that does not mean I am not still proud of the work I once did. I ran a blog, wrote research articles and tried to befriend a lot of people.

A year ago I was investigating Pizzagate and Elsagate when I became the obvious target of some anonymous stalkers but I later realized that the reason had nothing to do with my investigations, it was somehow linked to my ex husband. He manipulated our children's school and was somehow able to get a CPS case against me by accusing me of allowing a pedophile to groom my son when I reported one of the threats against us to the school. The stalker put a threat against me into writing and I can only assume he had his buddies do it or he did it directly to me himself, but the stalker worded it as though I was the problem because I had reported Doyle Mills of Scientology for suspected pedophilia: https://uniteforlife.wordpress.com/2017/08/06/why-i-no-longer-talk-to-former-cchr-friends/ and https://whyweprotest.net/threads/doyle-mills-osabot.78333/page-2. They simply turn it around and invert it on you and say things like "you let a pedophile groom your kid." Something that I did not do.

The many many things that they have done to me include what seems like a combination of cyberstalking, hacking my emails or surveillance of some kind, death threats, and other covert forms of stalking / targeting. In addition to that, he has the AG's office siding with him and got them to file a malicious and false case against me based on something that was prohibited in our orders. For years they kept my child support obligation to him higher than it was supposed to be by claiming that I owed him medical copays that I didn't owe because he refuses to use Medicaid for the kids so I don't have the obligation.

If the AG had not done this I would be current right now on my child support obligation to him, because I could've modified it in spite of their b.s.

In September of this year we went to court and the AG and his attorney both agreed I don't owe him the copays and then allowed me to lower my child support obligation to minimum wage. I'd been trying to lower my child support to minimum wage since 2014 when I was out of work for 6 months. I applied 3 times and filed a motion that was ignored for many months while they wasted my time racking up my obligation to as high as possible through resets and threats.

I went from having to pay him $687 per month to $525 per month to finally $322 per month and then $199 per month plus arrearages. This new amount is a lot more fair but I haven't been able to pay it since September because I'm unemployed right now. My husband is in school and I watch our kids, so I'm basically a stay at home mom and he is working at a job that he only recently got because he was trying to finish school.

A few weeks after the September hearing the AG sent me a letter in the mail demanding $1000 by December 22. I felt like this was extremely hypocritical and unfair because I had just paid several thousand dollars in child support via my tax returns. The AG office does not count this as a voluntary payment and they can put me in jail. What they want is total compliance. They want regular payments of the $199 plus the arrearage payment, monthly and on time, or they can put me in jail. There is a statute in Texas that allows the court to jail me for 6 months for every month I don't pay on time.

If I were able to find a job and keep it, I could afford this per month, but ever since I lost my job at Baum Hedlund at the close of their Cymbalta litigation I have not been able to find anything. I've lost 3 jobs now because of pregnancy and it's clear until I stop having kids that I'm not a good potential employee or a suitable breadwinner.

The fact that our case wrapped up in September with the AG modification and that they then threatened me within a month or two of an enforcement suit tells me that they plan to follow through on Joel's efforts to completely keep me from ever being able to pass the bar or even to put me in jail immediately as soon as he can get a court date.

The average amount paid in Texas by fathers is $267 if I am not mistaken. For years I was forced to pay double or even more than double that... The mere fact that I'm a woman means that nobody believes me when I complain about what I've been through because there are so many men who are tired of paying child support and losing custody that there is a huge stigma against any woman who has lost custody.

Some of my friends who are lawyers have told me that any time a man fights, he wins, and that the family court is stacked against mothers because mothers tend to come back to court more often and that brings in more federal dollars to fund the courts.

My own research brought me to a website for an expert who said that studies show that in a large majority of cases, like 70% or so, custody is uncontested and moms have custody. But that in the other 30% of cases, they're contested, and men win 80% of the time due to legal abuse and financial control of the situation.

The death threats I was subjected to by Joel's buddies include things like threats that the Finders Cult of the CIA would be coming for my kids, and being sent a video of a teenager getting decapitated
(https://steemit.com/pizzagate/@thehoneybee/memorial-for-a-murdered-child-after-school-pizza-movie-exposed), photos of dead bodies (https://steemit.com/elsagate/@amyjamey/joel-philo-and-his-sinister-twitter-account-a-clarification-on-the-cyberstalking-posts-from-months-ago), and statements like "do not trust him you will die" and "see your mother put to death." (This one - https://twitter.com/realamyjamey/status/1069365591943905287) came after my kids told him my mom is being treated for breast and lymphatic cancer. I'm taking care of her daily.)

I can only imagine the lies he has told his friends and buddies in the NSA or CIA to make them think I'm somehow worthy of being treated like this.

My ex works for Infor, and according to the stalkers he hired, he makes $250k per year. https://www.infor.com/blog/we-are-in-this-together-sink-or-swim
https://voat.co/v/pizzagate/2272830 - this post was made by a perp trying to make it look like I approved of him being doxxed...

I guess it pays to target innocent women you've raped.

I told my friend Dona who asked me to write up a detailed explanation that I don't want to fight him anymore, I just want to pay and walk away. Unfortunately I've tried looking for work, even temporary work, freelance work, selling my belongings, and a GoFundMe. There have only been 9 shares and one $35 donation to Joel that I am going to send in by the Dec. 22 deadline.

There's no point in fighting him anymore. I just want to keep my freedom and move on with life. If anyone can help me reach the $1k goal I would greatly appreciate it.