Making Allies for Your Cause

My wife and I went straight ahead on our fertility journey without even questioning if we where entitled to any treatment on the NHS.

Our first reason was because we didn’t want to wait and the timing was right for us. We had discussed children for years, and always knew we would need to save for it. So we did, and we made all our plans.

One of my own reasons was because I felt the NHS had given me so much and unlocked my life I couldn’t take any more from it. Not when there are so many people out there in dire need of help and funding. Should I have felt guilty because I am transgender?

After our 3 failed IUI procedures, we hit the deck emotionally. The thought of more tests, and changing to IVF scared my wife. It felt too early to give up on IUI, but there where a lot of questions.

What if her tubes where blocked?
What if there progesterone level was too low?
What if the sperm samples where not good enough?
What if the timing was all wrong?
What if IVF is the only way to do this?

Months before this, we saw our local GP to inform them about what we where planning on doing. With a small amount of hope that they might say we would get some help. But we where told otherwise.

We agreed to have a few months off treatment to let my wife recover and regain some energy. In this time we would have a tubal patency tests, and further blood tests.

When it came to the blood tests the GP who had previously done them refused. I can understand why, as some of the blood tests where not standard. It took a lot of calls to them to understand what the actual rules where.

At one point we where told to pay at a private hospital, which totalled to over £500. These tests are ones that can be carried out for free at a sexual health clinic, but in our case not free.

It got me thinking, and probably because I was emotionally sad and angry about the last 3 months so I rang PALS. They help NHS patients if they where incorrectly advised, I was initially ringing about the blood tests.

After speaking with someone who took the time to understand our situation she went out of her way to try and help. Because we where not in the system for infertility treatment, she could only give us a number of the local CCG.

The following day our GP Practice Manager called to help us with the blood tests. It turns out we could go to our local hospital and pay significantly less. During our call, she had also gone out of her way to research our situation. She stood by her GP’s word that we where not entitled to anything on the NHS, but also gave me the local CCG number.

The situation had developed from accessing simple blood tests to the big debate about me being transgender and infertile. Of which no one seemed to have the answer, and the latest report skirts around the subject. In summary where were being treated as a same sex couple in the report. Not a male and a female.

This really got to me, because I had gone through a lot to be treated as a male and in this situation it was not recognised. I will be starting another blog @authentic-self on my transgender journey if you’re interested in this topic.

Anyway I called the CCG and spoke to again another sympathetic person. She heard my story and after much discussion she went away to speak with one of the commissioners. I couldn’t quite work out how I’d got here, as I said before my GP a trusted role model had denied us what I was asking for. It felt like I was trying to prove him wrong.

Within hours I had a call back telling me they would fund 3 further IUI treatments on the NHS. I didn’t know what to say to her. I was shocked how quick they had made that decision.

I waited until the end of the day to tell my wife at home, because I couldn’t believe it and wondered if they would call back to say they had got it wrong.

Feeling very thankful and grateful for all the lovely people I spoke to who gave me every bit of respect and consideration. My wife and I couldn’t be happier.

I will keep you updated on the next leg of this journey ☺