Things Don't Own Me

The things you used to own, now they own you.
― Chuck Palahniuk

After coming back from a 4-year existential expedition last year, I must say that I was still poor and proud. With no property, no job, and no fat bank account. Not even rich parents, reliable friends or anyone to depend on when I'm helpless. No nothing. Just a tired soul and nothing more. To be quite honest, having nothing doesn't even bother me that much anymore. Yeah I know, I'm used to suffering. If you have read my stories about my journey and my life, I was both a survivor and warrior. Here I am now, leveled up to just being slightly poor. Though I still don't have my own patch of dirt and I have nothing to inherit out of luck or for being someone's daughter, the responsibility attached to owning things just makes me cringe. I feel like a slave to the things that I bought and sometimes I just want to lose them all so I can be free again.

As I'm planning my move 300km from where I am at the moment, I've noticed how quickly I have accumulated stuff. It's not a lot and I definitely need these things in order to live, at least comfortably for now. But deep down, owning things just give me a lot of stress and anxiety. I'm quite the opposite of other people who want to buy, buy and buy. They worry that if they don't have things, they won't survive or that others will look down on them. I will forever abhor materialism. I don't come from a society based on luxury and extravagance but times have changed, I noticed how people now depend on material wealth for pride and happiness.

Back in the day, I could just easily pack my bag with my laptop and clothes. And that was it. I could easily move to anywhere and I carry my simple life with me. Now I have to worry about moving house furniture, appliances, and other basic things. I'm stressing out on hauling these things to another place or paying a lot of money to move. I bought things that will make spend more money. This is the time I absolutely hate material possessions. I guess I will not be your typical nagging housewife (if that is ever going to happen) obsessed with interior decoration and will go hysterical if someone spills some sauce on her expensive rug. I don't need expensive drapes, power-hungry centralized AC, matching bed sheets, porcelain dinnerware, magic carpet, posh kitchen equipped with glossy modern appliances, fragile dust collectors, rare art paintings on the wall, fancy IKEA and bright chandeliers. Hell, I won't even freak out if you eat crackers on my bed. Crackers or no crackers, as long as I can have a good night sleep, I'm happy. It does not take that much to make me happy. If my husband cares so much about these things, he's probably not my husband if that is the case, I will burn everything just so we can live like monks in Tibet or some remote highland. Away from the rest of the world.

That's just how much I don't care about stuff. I use things right now but I just don't have any strong attachment or any romantic relationship with anything. I don't care if you worked hard for all those things all your life. That is not the point of life. When I die, I won't be able to bring these meaningless junk to my grave. Things don't own me.

It is nice to have modern conveniences that will make your life easier for sure. Unfortunately, people are under the tyranny of convenience these days. You buy a lot of things thinking that it will replace the fulfillment and meaning you get from exerting effort in preparing or making something. But instead of having more time for other things, people tend to be lazier and unproductive. Modern appliances do the job for you now. You can always go the nearest gym or pay someone else to clean the house. You follow the consumerism lifestyle by accumulating more stuff you don't need. However, it looks like some are still dissatisfied with their lives. Some people are still unhappy and unhealthy despite the promise of comfort and convenience.

If most people equate material possessions to satisfaction and pride, I equate it to stress and anxiety. I know that without these things, without having anything to lose, I would definitely be happier and freer again. A happy human with nothing but a free-moving soul.

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
― Chuck Palahniuk