Who Will Take Care of My Kitty When I’m Gone? 😔

I'm not going to die yet, though I'm not sure about that, life is short for all you know. Ok, I don't mean to be morbid but I'm just going on a little domestic trip which is actually more for work. Well, not really work, it's also fun. Yeah fun, duh. Fun like going on little island tours, discovering isolated beaches, snorkeling trips and possibly shipwreck diving. My bicycle might board the bus too. Though I'm not really feeling fun at the moment. This is just all for my little project that has been going on forever. In case you guys care, I would also be celebrating my insignificant existence in this vast universe, luckily it is not the usual diabolic Friday the 13th. No big deal, I'm just older and grumpier. Spare me the whole cosmic joke. With all the choices I made, I've already destroyed every possible life I might have lead. Everything was nothing but a dream. Paraphrasing Fitzgerald, thirty-five, a promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning brief-case of enthusiasm. I'm all for it.

I haven't really exposed myself to the world since I came back from my journey, so I'm not sure if I'm ready to face 'the world' again. I think I have practiced the lines in my head enough during my hibernation process in case I need to go to war. Actually, human beings are the least of my worries. It's my cat that I'm more worried about. The problem with misanthropy is that you don't have anyone left to trust. Now what? Who is going to take care of my baby while I'm away? Now I need a bot. So instead of being excited about my trip, I feel worried and sad.

You don't know all that Feliz and I have gone through together. He has always been there for me. Always. For better or for worse. I can vividly remember how we started out with nothing. I only had a bed, Feliz, and his littler box. But you know, he helped me build my life back. No one was really there. No one. Because I'm a terribly selfish human being. Feliz somehow eased the pain of isolation and loneliness. I learned to love something. I learned to love. He had seen me broke down, laughed crazily, danced while getting drunk and all that craziness prolonged solitude can do to you. I don't even know how is it possible to survive alone for a long time. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence as Sylvia Plath said. I can imagine how hard it must be for anyone. Because it really sucks to be alone, sometimes, it really does. But if you want to invent something great, that's the only way. I thought I was on the verge of getting insane, literally, but luckily Feliz came to my life. Thanks to him, life has never been the same. After all these years on earth, I now realize the pain of leaving something/someone. I do have feelings.

I don't mean to be so melodramatic because it might just be for a week or so. A lot can happen and I might even extend. My life is a blank page waiting to be filled. I just want to come back and my cat is still there. Still there for me. I owe him for the companionship. I want to come back for him too.

As much as I would like to travel with him, I think I've already exposed him to the shock of moving to different homes. From the shelter to the old apartment and to my new place. I think he needs to stay in a familiar environment now. He's just a bit needy unlike other cats, I showered him with concentrated love. I think the feeling is mutual. He knows when I'm out biking, he waits for me, not just for food, he just likes when I'm there. He doesn't want to be alone too but he does not like other people. He runs away when there are strangers around. A man after my own heart.

Feliz can't be home alone for sure so I might just look for a cat sitter or someone to trust. Someone to trust? I don't know. I don't even know how he's going to survive when I'm gone, like gone.