I don't know yet.

Once, long ago, when I was very young here, I wrote a post about wanderlust, which I was very proud of. Why? Well, because it was my second Curie upvote, which was a huge deal, and the biggest reward I've ever gotten on a post and quite simply, because it was a good post. I had fun writing it.

Why?

Because I love travel. And yet, I have no trips in mind this year and that feels a bit sad. One of the reasons is well, obviously, that we're not mooning. And I'm not sure about spending all that cash. The other reason is, I don't really have anywhere to go. I don't have any meetings to go to. There's no one waiting for me out there, nothing calling me to one particular place. Nothing tangible at least.

And it feels a tad silly, you know? To say

"I'm going there"

"Why?"

"I don't know."

Because people expect you to have a reason. I suppose because travel is usually expensive and because most "normal" people have this rigorous schedule that can't really be broken. They need reasons for doing things and they kinda make you think you do too.

But then, I figured something. You don't need a reason. That's what wanderlust means - "a strong desire to explore the world". That's it. That's all the reason you need to go - that you want to. If you're going because you have a business meeting or you're going to attend something or whatever, then it has a sort of purpose, it's not just wandering around, is it?
And it feels more real, more serious. Like you can say "I'm going there to do X" and sound important and not...drifting.

But maybe it's okay to drift for a while.

I wonder, why are we so obsessed with seeming important? With seeming busy? Everyone's so desperate to sound like they're drowning in work and like they're so important, everyone wants a bit of them and they kinda have to do all these things at once. And they're always so annoyed.

Damn, I have to go to X meeting/event also

Like they'd much rather be doing something else, but you know they secretly enjoy it. You know what I mean? And I realize this purposeful traveling thing falls into the same mentality. You should travel because someone else told you to travel, because someone else gave it purpose for you.

But what if the purpose is waiting for you there, when you arrive?

I travel a lot for rock concerts. There aren't many bands who come to Ro, so I just go to them instead. But even that's not a real reason, is it? I'd say "I'm going to London" or wherever but when someone asks why and you say oh, to see X band, they're like "oh well, that doesn't sound very serious. that's a bit of a waste of cash, isn't it?"

It's an experience.
I don't know if it's silly or not.

Maybe the best answer to "why are you going" is "I don't know yet".

I don't know if this post makes any sense to you. It does to me, though, and I guess that's something.

Cheers for reading,