Ross, you do realise that you create your own story, don't you? Ever since I've known you here, which is bloody years, you've complained about your life and how horrible you are, and it doesn't matter what I say to you, you still say the same story. You need to find a way to rewrite your story. Would you call someone else ugly and boring and unworthy? No. So why do you believe you're that? I feel sad that you feel this way about yourself, but I'm not going to tell you for the hundredth time that you are awesome, because it had no effect on you for the first hundred times. Just get a backpack and walk away. Give away everything you own. Sell it. Take your camera and your phone and walk your country. Just go get lost. Take a risk. From what you tell me, you have nothing to lose.